Really need some advice on inlaws

[Londongal85]

Hi all. How would you deal with this?
My m.i.l has asked my f.i.l is there is something going on with myself & f.i.l. Of course this is completely ridiculous.

Jealous type of woman and known for saying ridiculous things. However I feel that this is just unacceptable and crossed the line this time.
OH actually laughed when he heard but then approached her and said this was toxic etc etc and not to be speaking to us.

Thought I had an okay relationship with both pils however obviously not.
Haven't seen her since and don't really intend too just not sure what to do for the best if my children ask about her. I'm embarrassed upset and actually quite hurt about this.

@Mareleinesurely if this is the case. I shouldn't have to just accept this ludicrous behaviour

My FIL has been accusing my MIL with affairs with family members forever. He has a child he doesn’t like, DH’s sibling, and constantly accuses MIL of having her through an affair with his equally repugnant brother. It is all about control for him?

Honestly I would pull fully away. We have not seen FIL in years, it is blissful.

I’m constantly amazed at the number of wives who seem to think every other woman on the planet wants to shag their wizened homunculus of a husband. But MIL suspecting her DIL is particularly deranged.

Agree with PP, you need to tell your DC that MIL isn’t very well right now and needs some time for her mental health. You aren’t sure of the cause but you need to protect them and yourself because it’s making her say some very strange and not nice things. DH is on your side, so you need to tell them this together so they know he is.

Not menopause but have you considered the starting stage of dementia?
Is it like her? Or is it a loosening of how she really is.
Big pants on. Fight back your own feelings (which are must justified). And time to say to FIL and MIL this is so ridiculous and out there. What's making you feel like this MiL? Are you finding yourself paranoid about other things. I'm so hurt but this isn't like you. Please go to the GP to see what's causing this dreadful paranoia because it's having a big effect on your life.
Might not work but you'll know you did the right thing.

Hi OP. I am sorry this has happened to you. Paranoia can be an early sign of a number of medical conditions. DH suffers from Lewy Bodies dementia and suffered badly from paranoia until drug therapy provided a control. At this stage, other symptoms such as forgetfulness may not be apparent. Thinking I and various other family members were having affairs was suggested quite often. I found it very distressing. If you are sure that MIL is saying this I do think you are allowed with DH and FIL to go and have a discussion. She cannot be broadcasting this to the rest of the family it is distressing and simply wrong.

@PicaK@Cyclebabble thanks so much for replies. This has happened before with various other things and fall outs with family friends and colleagues for over the 20 years I've known her so I don't think it's anything medical. Thanks though appreciate the advice

I know lots of people are saying dementia, but it's actually far more likely that she's just unstable and paranoid. She might be mentally ill, but that doesn't mean it's dementia.

FWIW, my ex-SIL once accused my sister of shagging our brother, and ex-SIL was only about 30 at the time. She's not suffering from dementia, she's just mad.

Not menopause but have you considered the starting stage of dementia?

I came on to post this too. MIL had Alzheimer's and you would be astonished at some of the stuff she accused us of doing.

Your MIL would be young, but the first signs do start appearing a long time in advance.
Obviously, you won't be seeing her so much, if at all, from now on, but if this jealousy is a change from normal behaviour your DH/FIL should keep an eye out for other symptoms.

I think I would be inclined to send a text. If it's to a family what's app then all the better..along the lines of
'it has come to my attention that Mil thinks I am interested in FIL, as you are all aware there is absolutely nothing in this accusation why would I be Interested in FIL?

Frankly all this is rather distressing and cringe. Please can you all stop this silliness. Thanks

The start of dementia.

My FIL got very paranoid about MIL having it off with everyone