To wonder if your a wohp, surely your dc’s childhood must fly by even faster ?

[GeorgiesCat]

Just feeling a bit thoughtful, because my oldest has just turned 18.

so I’m now an parent of an adult
and I just feel like that time has gone by in a flash
Seriously feels like 5 mins ago dc was born
that what I can’t get my head around how has the time gone this fast ?
how ?

i was a sahp for that dc for the early years then ive luckily always been around before and after school and in the holidays too, so we’ve really had the maximum amount of time together possible
yet it’s still gone so fast

I can only imagine, if I hadn’t been lucky enough to be around during these years, say I had to be a wohp full time, surely it must fly by even faster?

maybe you just look back with rose tinted glasses, and you forget the toddler years etc

this is no judgement on anyone for whatever they’ve chosen to do or had to do
every singed person I’ve ever known has always done whatever they feel is best for their family
and we are all unique and have unique circumstances

but just got me thinking that surely the time must fly past even faster ?

This year does seem to have gone very quickly. I went back after my second maternity leave just before the summer holidays and it’s shot by. But when I look back at DS’s baby photos it feels like a very long time ago indeed.

Yes, I’m yet to read any posts with faux concern for working fathers and their experience of parenthood.

Me too - work makes me a happier person. I’m also setting a good example to my daughter of how to be independent and purposeful.

I love when people preface a post like this with “absolutely no judgement from me” or “everyone is doing the best they can”, then they go right ahead do the opposite.

I’m a big fan of quality over quantity.

Feels really long to me, I’m only 11 years in. I “WOTH”

You are trying to say you are not being judgemental, but clearly you are

100% with you! I don’t need sympathy from someone doing something I would have hated.

Not at all. I was at home for the entire first year and I have never known a year go by so slowly! I swear it lasted at least five.

I think the time would go achingly slowly if I was a SAHM. A neighbour is and her life looks horrendous and boring from outside. It depends on your job too. A day at my work goes by so fast, challenges, things to deal with, interactions with colleagues, managing large interesting projects. The time with children doesn’t go by so fast in comparison as only some bits are fun. Some of it is just drudgery, clearing up the endless mess, dealing with boundaries, the non-stop talk about nothing. Sure, some bits are fun but I feel like I get plenty of time to do that around work and when on holiday?!

Time passes at the same speed for everyone thanks to the laws of physics.

I am glad to have maintained my career throughout my children’s childhoods as when they do leave home I will still have something to fill my time with, as well as having had financial independence throughout their lives.

Yeah it flew by really fast, faster as I was a working parent and didn’t maximise the time 🙄.

"No offence, but <insert something really offensive here>"

Oh. It does.

YABU
it means you make the most of the quality time with them and you make the most of it rather than the monotony of spending every second with them- they also see a healthy balance of parents who have other interests and who work to support their children and give them values. My children see their mother as the breadwinner and see their father work but do the majority of the cleaning and that for me is so, so important. They work hard at school and I work hard at work - I’ve taught them far more by doing this than if I was staying at home.

Ah! SAHMs aren't 'purposeful' got it. Thanks.

I’m a SAHP and I feel like the time is absolutely flying by, and that I don’t get enough of it. I often wonder how working parents (including my DH) cope with more limited time with their DC.

I won’t apologise for feeling this way 🤷‍♀️

I consider myself lucky as I got to work in a job I loved and my children were looked after by grandparents or in childcare they enjoyed.

Everyone does the best they can. You sound very judgmental of people who worked more than you because they needed to or wanted to.

Work out of the home parent. To me this says you go to work, away from home. Out of the home.

shouldn’t it be, WFHP (work from home parent)

anyway, life does go quick. Be it, working from home, at office, not working, etc etc.

And is that as far as your 'wonder' goes? It seems so limited and unimaginative. We can all 'wonder' at the choices others make, but is it not much healthier to be happy with one's own choices and leave it at that?

Why is this the thing you 'wonder' at anyway?

I suspect it is because what everyone has in common in this scenario is that they all have children, and it therefore offers an easy opportunity to peer over the fence and judge.

If bothering to 'wonder' at other mothers, why not wonder at how amazing it is that a mother of a young child has a day job as a judge, for example, or is the breadwinner etc etc. But no, you choose to 'wonder' at something that makes you feel better than them....

Your use of the word “lucky” is odd, are you meaning to imply that anyone who works outside of school times is unlucky? What a blinkered outlook, plenty of people (myself included) actively choose to work and have no interest in limiting it to when the kids are in school. It must blow your (non-judgemental 🙄) mind.

I know when I was on maternity leave, time went by so slowly. Then when I went back to work, it sped up. We got a cleaner, so on evenings and weekends it slowed down again, because I wasn't working in the house. But every time I did anything without my children, I'd look at my watch and the time had just gone so fast. Once I went away with friends for a weekend but it actually took only half a day, whereas spending half term with the kids took a month. If I slept in their rooms the night would last 14 hours for example, but in my own room only 8. So odd

So was it the government, a partner or generational wealth that meant you could be a sahp? How wonderful for you.

No judgment here of course either.

There are definitely some days (and nights) that dragged on for what felt like weeks, but yes, I've been a parent for 8 years and I feel like I've literally only just finished my maternity leave.

Yes, the days are long, but the years are short.

Agreed. My maternity leave was probably the longest year of my life. I’m just not built for it. I had a proper sleeper too so plenty of time on my hands once we got into our routine. Having very little to challenge my brain was not good.

How do you know that she wasn't independently wealthy? There is a man in the newspaper today who became a SAHD for years after selling his company. Would you have assumed the same about him or is it only because OP is a woman that you have assumed that her being a SAHP is being funded by someone else?