To wonder if your a wohp, surely your dc’s childhood must fly by even faster ?

[GeorgiesCat]

Just feeling a bit thoughtful, because my oldest has just turned 18.

so I’m now an parent of an adult
and I just feel like that time has gone by in a flash
Seriously feels like 5 mins ago dc was born
that what I can’t get my head around how has the time gone this fast ?
how ?

i was a sahp for that dc for the early years then ive luckily always been around before and after school and in the holidays too, so we’ve really had the maximum amount of time together possible
yet it’s still gone so fast

I can only imagine, if I hadn’t been lucky enough to be around during these years, say I had to be a wohp full time, surely it must fly by even faster?

maybe you just look back with rose tinted glasses, and you forget the toddler years etc

this is no judgement on anyone for whatever they’ve chosen to do or had to do
every singed person I’ve ever known has always done whatever they feel is best for their family
and we are all unique and have unique circumstances

but just got me thinking that surely the time must fly past even faster ?

See I don’t get the thought process sameness make times fly

I find good times and fun times make time seem like it’s going faster

and when I'm
doing something boring say like gym that drags

time really is such a strange thing when you stop and think about it

As the saying goes, the days are long but the years are short.

that's actually spot on

This feels like a goady post, but I'll bite.

Yes, my child's life is flashing by. I work; I'm a single parent; I work long hours. But often, my DD is with me at work, and she sees that I have a work ethic, and she gets to understand a bit about adult life. We have a ton of time together.

Now (sympathetic headtilt), do you think your DC lost out because they never got to see you doing anything much?

I can never help being a bit 🙄 when I see someone describe themselves as 'lucky' to be a SAHP. Not just lucky for themselves in that this is what they waht to do, in which case great, but lucky when compared to parents who work who they consider to be unlucky in comparison.

It's the assumption that we'd all make that same choice if we could. I certainly would never choose to be a SAHP. I earn very well , have a v good and flexible job, and spend so much leisure time with my kids. Nothing unlucky about it. I would be a bit bemused if any SAHP on the school run, for example, thought they were somehow luckier than me. Weird.

I couldn't think of anything more tediously boring than not working for 18 years.

What on earth did you do when. Your child was at school.

No no ogpjdat

Maybe wohp really really appreciate the time spent with dc far more than you op? Because time is "only" evenings and weekends and holidays?

Of course not it s a daft kind of proposition.
Parents parent. Working on day or not.

When you in thick of it
Dealing with a sick child all night
then going to work
The nights are long
So long
but
The years are short when you look back

I’m a working (out of the the home) parent. As such, my good wages have allowed me to give my children great experiences and lovely trips and holidays. I’ve spent loads and loads of time with them and we have a great relationship. I think time is passing at a totally normal pace but I guess when they get to 18, I’ll look back and think it doesn’t seem like 5 mins since they were babies. I won’t be wishing that I was there for more school runs.

What a twat

Totally agree.

Surely the luckiness comes from being in a position to make a choice you’re happy with. If I was in a situation where I had to be a SAHP (eg low salary making childcare costs unaffordable) I would consider myself unlucky. I do not consider someone who happily chose to be a SAHP to be unlucky though.

I think time would really drag for me as a SAHP. I love having a career & great colleagues.

I think that as a working mum, I cherish the time with my dc - evenings and weekends - so the time is valuable. Time doesn’t move faster though that’s just condescending bs implying your way was superior.

I get your reasoning. You get in from work and it's a cycle of after school activities, homework, food, bath/bed. It does fly by. If you need to fit housework in when the children are around, the days roll by like a out of control speed train. You need to make the most of time off together.

oh they got to see me do plenty and I’ve always worked since the youngest started primary
but I’ve always been lucky enough to do it during school time

Rather than being an issue for the parent, there are also LT impacts on the child.

Research suggests that girls with working mothers tend to have better career outcomes, including higher wages and more supervisory positions, compared to girls raised by stay-at-home mothers.

For boys it is not significant.

Everyone says to me ‘oh! It goes so fast, doesn’t it?’

Hoenstly for me - no! DS was born in the winter lockdown of 20/21 and I don’t know if that slowed it down but light years have passed since I had him. He starts school in September. That has most definitely not gone fast!

It is what research shows though, about people’s perception of how long has passed when they’re doing something varied and engaging vs something repetitive.

And worked Full time for around 15 years before becoming a parent as well of course

WOOHP

I have found 0-4 goes slow, 5-8 gets a bit faster 10-12 faster & presumably teen yrs fly by?

I don’t think the first 5 years go that fast. Secondary school seems to go in a blink and they jump from early teen to independent young people learning to drive.

Time goes by at the same speed but tell you what, it felt a lot slower when I stayed at home pretending to play vets or doctors or doing crafts and shit all day.

I like work 😁😁😁

What a weird post, why can’t you just be happy with your own life and your own decisions without comparing it to other mothers?

If it was truly about “work out of the home parents” and not other mothers why wouldn’t you speak to your DH about it and compare his experience?

Bloody hell I fantasise about this. I would do loads. House stuff (the sock drawer might actually be organised) go to the gym. Read (I actually used to read books …) develop hobbies, do the garden, cook …

Perhaps you just have a worse memory? My kids are 8 and 6 and it feels like they’ve been around forever.

Are you and older parent? As you age, your memory changes so time feels like it’s flying. It’s a common phenomenon that happens to everyone as they age but some feel it more than others. Try to live in the moment and don’t worry too much about other people.

FWIW - working can mean you have better and more memorable experiences with your children (special holidays, experiences, less stress), so maybe they remember more?

This is such a transparent post. Pretending to be be pondering the concept of time to such an extent that you just had to post that question. Why do you care or why does it matter to you if someone feels time has gone quicker if they’ve worked. All your disingenuous reflection is just an opportunity to twist what you imagine to be a knife in to the hearts of working parents. I wonder if time passes much faster if you ponder the ways in which you can try to feel superior to others? Maybe you’d have the answer to that?