AIBU to suggest DH should leave the house a bit later so we can travel to work together?

[BlackNGold]

DH and I work for the same company. In two weeks, there’s a couple of days I am going to be working from his office. He likes to leave a little earlier to beat the rush hour traffic - by his own admission he doesn’t have any calls until 9 and spends the start of his day browsing the internet.
I start later than him so would arrive very earlier if I was to go in with him at his usual time. AIBU to ask him to leave a little earlier so he can take me in - we will both start on time but he says the journey will take him about 15 minutes longer due to traffic. This is his gripe, not that he needs to be in the office earlier to do anything. I would get the bus if he can’t take me in.

You want the lift, you have to fit in with the lift giver.

Or make your own way at a time that suits you.

If you don’t like it, drive yourself.

Don’t expect him to change his routine and normal working day to fit what you want.

Just go earlier and have a drink. I wouldn’t want to sit in rush hour if I could easily avoid it.

You should go in earlier, it's your times which have changed, not his.

For only 2 days?

What about the other end of the day? Do you both get to leave at the same time?

So go have a coffee. And if nowhere near a coffee shop, sit in the car.

God, are people really so set in their ways that they can’t do something different for TWO DAYS that might help their spouse out? And maybe enjoy travelling in together for a change??

God forbid a man might do something slightly different for just 2 days to help his wife out.

If you start work at a different time to him do you even finish at the same time? If not it’s sort of pointless to change schedules to drive in together surely?

YABU

You're essentially asking him to swap 20 minutes of time to chill with 15 minutes sitting in traffic.

Get there early with him and use your hour to do something else or get the bus.

Reading Mumsnet makes me realise how fabulous my late husband was. So many couples don't seem to operate as a team, or even like each other.

He's the one doing her a favor. Why is the onus on him to do something different? Why shouldn't she do something different?

Well, if I was relying on my partner for a lift, I wouldn't dream of asking them to change their routine for me. That seems pretty entitled, no?

God forbid OP should be expected to fit in with his routine when it's her who needs a favour.

1 day go early.
1 day go at your preferred time?

But tbh - for 2 days just go early if you want a lift.

Personally I’d like to get in earlier to browse mn and drink tea get a head start on my day. I think you should fit round him.

By the same token OP could put up with an idle hour at work in the morning for TWO DAYS to help her spouse out by keeping to his routine.

It’s unfair to ask him to leave later and change his routine plus spend time sat in traffic he’d usually miss. You have to fit in with him here if you want to travel together so if he doesn’t want to leave later then you either go to work earlier or get the bus

Why don't you leave earlier and do something productive with that extra time?

You should go in early. I would take a nap for that hour or read/surf the internet.

And wouldn’t he have to wait for you after work since his start is earlier?

Not if it means gets stuck in traffic
if I leave 15m later traffic is awful

I get to work about an hour early and browse on my phone until I start to slowly see what's what for the shift about 30mins before it starts so by the time it starts, I'm ready to go. I was told by someone senior when I was very junior that you'll be less tired and more switched on if you come in earlier. It sounded crazy to me as it meant less sleep but from the very first day I saw it was the best way to go.

My partner would be getting the bus, or coming in at my time.

I ran this scenario past DH and while he agreed it would be a bit of a pain with the extra traffic and yes, perhaps she should fit in with him, “of course I would do it for 2 days.” So there you go. Happy to be in the minority on this one with a decent marriage where doing each others favours here and there is no biggie and doesn’t mean the world falls off its axis.

But it's as much one person putting themselves out as the other. The one who usually leaves early could put themselves out and change their routine for 2 days or the one who doesn't usually go in early could put themselves out and go early for 2 days.

Not sure why the OP in this situation isn't expected to be the one to change the routine and the DH is. Both would he doing each other a favour. The swing is that if the DH goes later he has a potentially shitter journey and ends up late. The OP might just have some time to kill.