To be annoyed at staff asking my kid what she wants?

[YourIcyGoldOrca]

Went to get ice cream, and ordered a icecream for my kid.
The member of staff then asked my 9 year old if she wanted a flake, but no mention of the extra cost (£1 extra on top of the £4 icecream). Just really annoys me, feel like they should ask the person paying not the kid who will not take into account or be aware of the cost.

I think it's good to address children and get them confident in answering grown ups You as a parent could just say not this time.

i think its nice to involve the kids. you can always ask if it is extra but its only a pound

My local ice-cream van charges the same for a flake or no flake. But it's kind of a traditional thing to have it with the flake on. Usually I have to specify I don't want one! Maybe that's a better policy.

I guess just don't use it again. Or tell your child the budget for the thing they're allowed before they order.

I wouldn't really hold it against someone in an ice-cream shop for asking the recipient if they want a flake if they were clearly over toddler age.

Your child is 9. I think it would be very odd to address the adult in this situation.

I would have assumed additional stuff like flakes were extra and asked if you didn't want to pay more but I really don't think it unusual for her to ask your child.

£5 for a 99! It was 20p when I were a nipper (misses point).

It was a £5 ice cream though. Daylight robbery.

£1 to get a flake!!!

But no OP, why shouldn’t a nine year old be addressed? You’re cross at the price, not the worker who was probably just trying to be nice to your DD.

If you'd wanted a flake you'd order a 99.

She’s 9! It would be odd if he didn’t address her.

I think it speeds things up if she asks your dd rather than ask you and treat dd like she’s not there. You’ll be surprised how many teens have anxiety about talking to strangers and can’t even order their own ice cream.

£5 for a 99!!

whilst it’s usually nice to address the child on things that don’t involve an extra cost, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable in being the one asked about a flake at an extra £1 on top of an already bloody expensive ice cream.

They were called 99s because they were 99p, if they were ever cheaper, they would have been 1 shilling and 6pence or something because it would have been 1960s and old money🤣

They shouldn't. How humiliating would it be to have to say to your child you can't afford the extra pound or to make up an excuse that everyone can see straight through anyway?

Because it's not always "only" a pound. Sometimes it's an unexpected extra pound that was earmarked for a pint of milk or a loaf of bread and something was already being sacrificed to give the child even that small treat.

Have you ever been to build a bear?

Chose bear abd outfit, whilst stood in the stuffing queue staff came over to chat to ds. Would you like your bear to have a growl? Would you like him to have a heartbeat? What about rollerskates? Fortunately ds was only upsold on a growl for £10

It happens when we go for pub meals too - would you like to swap your chips for sweet potato fries? How about onion rings with that?

And then there was the time at trampolining that I gave ds £5 to go and buy a bag of crisis and he came back with 2 plus some sweets because 'the man said I could have 2 crisps and a bag of sweets'. This would not have been ds, he had bought many times before.

YANBU, if its asking about free options then fine but if its more money they should not be offering it.

Anyone else hearing Melanie Sykes?

"Do yer wanna flake in that, love?"

Grates on me to read to ‘my kid’ and ‘the kid’. Makes the child sound like a dog. Just sounds rough. Different when someone uses it in the plural - “the kids were playing up’ or ‘I was making the kids’ tea’
i might get flamed but I don’t care.

It is pretty crappy. Totally fair enough to make small talk, ask for flavours, give similar priced options or even mention a deal. Not fair on the child or the parent to try and upsell to a child. Yes, even for £1.

YANBU, targeting kids is a marketing tactic as old as time.

You just need to get used to asking ‘is it extra?’ every single time.

I didn't even know you could get an ice cream without a flake!

I see kid, I think goat. I was at a friend's earlier and she had four kids (goats). One was only two days old. 😍

Anyone else hearing Melanie Sykes?
"Do yer wanna flake in that, love?"

Boddingtons advert IIRC. showing our age now @LittleGreenDuck 😆

Oh come on, it’s buying an ice cream. Asking for a flake is bog standard.

I can see your point but when shop assistants ask me a question that is aimed at my children I usually then direct them to the child, who can make their own decisions and answer themselves. It's a good way to build their confidence in public settings. I'm talking things like 'do you want sauce?' 'is that with salad?' 'any allergies?' 'what would you like to drink?'.
She should however had said the flake costs extra, my child would then check with me if that's okay.

Would you have said no to the flake if he asked you instead?

I disagree. I really like it when staff speak properly to kids, not just their grown ups! It helps them to become independent individuals. In the grand scheme of things a £1 flake really is not a big deal.