To be annoyed at staff asking my kid what she wants?

[YourIcyGoldOrca]

Went to get ice cream, and ordered a icecream for my kid.
The member of staff then asked my 9 year old if she wanted a flake, but no mention of the extra cost (£1 extra on top of the £4 icecream). Just really annoys me, feel like they should ask the person paying not the kid who will not take into account or be aware of the cost.

Surely as a kid it's perfectly normal for a parent to say you can have one scoop and no you can't have a flake etc? An ice cream is a treat and the extras are an extra treat. Sometimes I might be allowed to have them but I didn't take them for granted.

Beat me to it....

What age do you think is old enough?
If it's the escalating costs that bothers you why not give your daughter a fixed amount to spend so she can't go over it.

I think if £4 is being paid for a cornet, a £1 for the flake is neither here nor there. £4 may be justifiable for the highest quality, organic ice-cream made with the freshest natural ingredients. From the average ice-cream van, no. I'd have told mine to be patient and we'd stop at a shop.

20 shillings to a pound.
12 pence to a shilling
I recall ha'pennies pennies, threepence, sixpence, shillings, two Bob bits (two shillings), half crowns (2 shillings and sixpence), ten shillings notes (ten bob), pound notes and a denomination called a guinea which was equivalent to one pound and one shilling.

I recall all that because upthread somebody referred to 1s6d (one shilling and sixpence) in new money that was 7.5p. A great uncle used to give me a half crown after church on Sundays when I was about 4. It was very, very generous and special to have such a big, heavy, silver coin. Equivalent to 12.5 new pence!

We spent hours rubbing pennies as children due to the different Kings and Queens. Queen Victoria (occasionally), Edward VIi (occasionally), George V, George VI and E II. Our children never had that little insight into history seeing only E II on coins.

Irrelevant I know but the references to old and new money made me think of it.

At no point should a child be asked their preference unless the parent gives consent. It sounds controlling but that is why children don't run the world.

If you ask a kid if they want chocolate on their ice cream....uh, duh, they are kids, of course they want chocolate! Don't ask the child. They aren't responsible for their diet or health.

I agree with you OP. My kids both wear glasses and at appointments are both asked if they want to try contact lenses - they cost money every month! My son would like them but we are not paying. I said at my daughters appointment recently that when she is paying for them, then she can decide if she wants them.

A flake is a normal addition to ice-cream.

Well it's quite easy Just give the child the correct money for a regular ice cream and tell them they can't have extras. Not sure why a 9 year old can't understand that and they are certainly old enough to speak to ice cream seller. Many many kids go to local shops by themselves at that age

No, they weren't! You could buy them in the 1960s before we even had a 99p. It's to do with the Italian King's elite guard. Google it.

Well my child was over the moon when we visited a popular family attraction and arrived with her wearing a sunflower lanyard. The member of staff greeting arrivals came straight up to my daughter and started chatting to her, asking if she was excited and then started to let her know about the sensory room, plenty exits, toilets etc. I’m so used to people addressing me instead of my children I found this a breath of fresh air. She was 11 at the time. No obvious disability (she’s autistic) so just the lanyard that gave away her having a hidden disability. I sent them some lovely feedback.

On general shopping I think it’s fine to ask what your child was asked. My kids would usually answer with a yes please if they knew I would already usually buy the flake, or if not they would likely turn to ask me and I’d help them make their choice (either a yes, or in some cases a ‘you only brought £4 so you’ll have to leave the extra flake today’ and they’d usually be fine with it. I think it’s lovely to address the children. Same on flights - would your child like a drink? What would your child like? Well if you ask my child they will tell you. I’ve trained them up to ask themselves on cafes/restaurants etc since they could speak!!

They were 6 pence in old money when I was a child. 2.5 pence in decimal. They werent called 99’s because of the price, that was just a co-incidence.

I kind of agree with some posters about kids being asked directly to build confidence etc. but there have been times when we've been asked do we want a dessert menu and we've said no thanks but they have then asked my daughter if she wants a dessert, surely the parents saying no just means no.

Recently in Lush, I'd told my daughter she can have 3 bath bombs, she chose them, we took them to the till and the person serving asked her directly did she want any more, thats totally not up to her, and I'm pretty sure she could hear me saying about choosing 3 only. I know its first world problems etc. but it made me feel like shit then having to tell my daughter no she can't have more when I shouldn't have had to as we were all sorted before the employee decided to imply that my daughter can have more bath bombs!