Siblings should go to the same school

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We have three children and have recently moved to Maidenhead. Our eldest is currently in Year 7, our second in Year 6 and our youngest in Year 4. Our middle child just got offered a spot in a great high school that we really like for Year 7. They are full in Year 8 for next year though--how reasonable is it for me to ask the high school to make room for our eldest? Especially keeping in mind that our youngest will be going to that school as well to me it seems reasonable for them to expand that year and accept our daughter. Is this common? Does the Borough get involved in these cases? AIBU?

I really really didnt want to bite but I will.

You sound incredibly entitled to be honest.

You moved from Spain in 2024 - did you not think to research the school set up before you moved?

All the reasons you have given are incredibly personal and related to choices you made. I am curious as to why you think your children should be prioritised in this way?

You would have to show that the detriment to your child of not being offered a place is greater than the detriment to the school of taking a pupil over numbers.

The logistics of taking children to different schools would not be regarded as meeting that criterion.

You are entitled to appeal for a place. They may take into consideration the transport difficulties and the sibling, but its also about why that particular school is right for that child.

In London I believe schools can ask for the places back if you move out of catchment. However I’m sure many don’t. Equally we know people who’ve rented flats (and lived in them briefly) to achieve the same result. Ultimately sibling criteria is highly unfair to single child households, you could say it’s highly discriminatory.

Thank you. I feel like this thread is getting a bit out of control honestly. I was not expecting people to have so many strong opinions on this. The system is Spain is very very different and I have lived in Canada as well where it is also very different. Reading about it online is confusing as each borough has different rules and we each school also has different admission criteria. Thanks for the bit of sympathy--not a lot of that on here I see.

I wasn't going to reply on this thread anymore but I feel like this whole thing was very disheartening. Instead of help most of the comments seemed judgemental and unsympathetic. At the end there was an insinuation that we moved to a "nice" area to get a sibling into a school to then move out and expect all our children to go to that same school? It could be a language issue or it could be the way my post was read by some but I wanted to know what would happen next given that this school does have siblings as part of their admission criteria and we are within catchment. I understand that people may be more or less in favour of sibling criteria but this school does have it listed. We did research how the school system works here before moving and we have done our best given we moved within a school year and applied for in-year placement but not all boroughs are the same and not all schools are the same making things difficult especially coming from a system that works completely differently (Madrid is quite a difficult system to navigate). Anyway, thanks for the few comments that provided some helpful insight (keep our eldest on the waiting list, etc) and it was sad to see how much time people have to hate online someone they don't even know.

Declining a place is not a good idea. if you decline a place, you basically say you don’t need a place at all, and the local authority isn’t responsible anymore. Don’t do that!

How else are you supposed to do it? Accept the place and then appeal?

Yes. If you decline a place your child could end up without a school.

@hazelnutvanillalatte yes! always accept the place and go on waiting list plus appeal. Rejecting the place means opting out, and now makes you a late application

I didn't know that :(
I just assumed we would get our local school especially considering we already have two kids there!

😂

children go to different schools all the time, for example some at grammar and others not.

just add your child to the waiting list like everyone else has to.

@hazelnutvanillalatte i suggest you call the admissions authority on tuesday and get information on what to do next. Probably a late application which means whichever school has still places
your chances of winning an infant class size appeal are slim

Unless a mistake was made in processing the application (such as placing your dc in the wrong priority category, so should have been placed in a higher category for siblings but was instead ranked amongst others based on distance) an Infant class size appeal is very unlikely to succeed. Your letter should state why the application was declined. Did you list more than one school? In meantime you need to ask where there is still a space and accept it as a back up or decide to home educate or try for a private school instead.

Yes, listed multiple schools and explained my reasoning for declining in the letter. They then replied to check siblings' names and year group in our local school. I will get in touch on Tuesday

@hazelnutvanillalatte
I meant the letter from LA on offers day should explain why they declined a place at your preferred schools. Your reasons for turning the allocated school down are not taken into account unless they prove an error in the process.

Just put your eldest on the waiting list for the preferred school.

If siblings are a priority in the admissions list they should get a place when / if one becomes available.

Just go with the system.

There is no sibling preference in this case I don’t think, and they definitely won’t just make an extra place for your eldest! You just need to put them on the waiting list. I think it will be just a case of waiting until you are top of the list and a place comes available.

If they are full, presumably children who have lived in the area for years didn't get a place, so why do you think YOUR child automatically deserves a place?

Isn't there another school that has places in all years?

If its so important for siblings to be together your Yr 6 child should go to the same school.as their older siblings
My children chose and we t to different secondary schools. Sibling rule matters more for primary.

If they are full there will be a waiting list they can’t just squeeze your child in. Can they not just go to different schools. Mine do through choice. Different children, different needs.

Sibling priority sometimes only works downwards, so don't assume you'll get that.

But you can appeal, although sibling isn't really anything to use at appeal. You want to look at why this school suits them best.

I don’t think the school should make room for your eldest - she is already being adequately educated.
Accept the place for your middle child and make sure your eldest child is still on the waiting list for that school. Once your middle daughter has started secondary school be a supportive parent in every way - volunteer to help with school events, attend and respond to parents nights etc. With a sibling in the school your eldest daughter will move up the waiting list. Phone the school every half term to see if there’s been any movement (polite and understanding in these brief calls). The situation is difficult because they’ll start GCSEs in year 9 and moving school after that is obviously difficult.

They didn't explain why, just sent an email saying 'your child has been offered a place at -'

Anyway it turns out they hadn't called older DCs' school to verify their attendance, so the application had been processed as non-sibling. Now it's been corrected they have a place for September. They also said I shouldn't have been advised to decline the initial place, which I was when I first called.

FFS. But anyway, it's been sorted.