Why can't we discuss how fat we've all become?

[Nodinnernogift]

Obesity is becoming the norm. Why aren't we allowed express concern or any views that are less than celebratory about this?

I mean seriously why?

If whole parts of your country were in the grip of a meth addiction we would be allowed have a discussion about it.

National campaigns to stop people smoking are applauded.

Look around you. Look in the mirror. We are all getting bigger and bigger. It reminds me of when people would visit the US in the 80s / 90s and come back with tales of huge people and massive portion sizes.

Does nobody care? It's like the Emperors New Clothes. I don't get why it's a sacrosanct topic.

Yabu - it's nobody's business
Yanbu - it's fine to address this as a societal problem

Isn't that the point? Otherwise we may as well all just wear potato sacks.

Do people out there really believe that anyone getting the WLI hasn't TRIED other methods of weightloss? I train with quite a lot of people who have lost weight now with injections or with surgical interventions; they are well aware of the risks but they weighed them all up and made an assessment taking into account how long they've tried to lose weight other ways.

People saying "it worked for me so why can't they do it too?" don't understand that there are infinite reasons why a person can't manage.

I personally am not on the WLI. I'm making slow but very steady progress with counting calories / exercising but everyone's situation is unique. If I was getting nowhere then I don't see how it would not be anything but simple to seek another solution.

I think when we are adults and more robust and grounded it's fine to say "ok I'm this shape, these proportions, a flattering cut and colour palette is..."

But for teens no, sorry. I don't think any teen should ever feel like "ok, that style of dress is really fashionable but because you don't have the same genes / build as your sister or skinny mate you aren't allowed wear it" I think clothes as that age are about expression of personal taste. They are still fragile and figuring themselves out and the emphasis should be on building rock solid self esteem.

And yes they do all want to look attractive but let's face it they mostly look hilarious.

as i said earlierI just think about their knee joints in later life

I know lots of well off, educated, intelligent, professional people who are very overweight. I don’t think that we can blame it all on trauma, poverty, lack of intelligence and education.

From my observations, it seems to be down to too much booze, sugary drinks, and driving everywhere.

@Nodinnernogift- the more I read from certain posters on this thread (four that in particular keep coming back with insane / sneery / stupid / dismissive comments), the more I think that there is a whole group of people who get a real kick out of looking down on overweight people - and seem to enjoy just thinking they are stupid / ugly / and without willpower.

This group seems to actively hate WLIs for reasons that make no sense, but I suspect from the phrasing of the comments that really, they just don’t want to lose their power and superiority.

Hilariously, one poster upthread posted several desperately unpleasant messages castigating people for stuffing their faces and demanding more care and attention from the NHS and ruining their lives, when they simply could take responsibility and “eat less move more” and then in the same breath shat on anyone trying WLIs. Self funding WLIs injections is surely the definition of taking personal responsibility for obesity. But no. It is not enough lose weight, it has to be done the way these people think is acceptable (completely ignoring that millions of people have tried and failed that way. In fact, I think they want us to fail so they can be smug about how much better they are).

It’s coupled with a severe lack of understanding that.

1. obesity is a chronic disease
2. there are a huge amounts of psychological, sociological, hormonal and medical factors at play.
3. overweight people know they are overweight. Many have tried all sorts of extreme diets for years, caught in a catastrophic cycle of extreme loss and regain which has wrought permanent damage to their bodies and ability to manage weight.
4. WLIs can be a lifelong medication
5. WLIs provably remove food noise giving people the space and time to build better habits, change eating patterns, work past psychological barriers, transition to getting strong and doing more and better exercise

etc etc.

Unfortunately, despite all the people on here (including you) sharing experiences, research etc. There is no point.

These posters are not interested in reasoned debate, logic, science, or solving the societal problem. Their only interest is making themselves feel good at other’s expense.

Louder for the people at the back!!!

And what's more; they are adamant that everyone shares their views.

Speak for yourself, I’m in my 40s still a size 6 and what other people weigh or eat is not my problem, why would you care?

The point isn't necessarily to be flattering to a set of beholders who hold particular views about what looks good on one's body, no.

Even for those who choose clothes mostly for appearance over comfort, warmth etc, which is not everyone, there's no universally agreed standard and you may not be who they're dressing for at any given time. In the example given of teens, attracting disapproval from their parents generation is what some of them want!

And even people who don't give a shit and literally wear clothes for warmth, sun protection and to avoid prosecution probably don't have easy access to potato sacks. For the bulk of the population, whatever the nearest supermarket or cheap clothes retailer sells is the path of least resistance. And that's what a lot of people spend a good chunk of their time in. T shirt and joggers from wherever you do your weekly shop is essentially potato sacks for the sake of this analogy.

Oh there are absolutely people who want it to fail. Hence the poorly reasoned, slightly desperate sounding faith based entreaties.

The alternative is that the social currency of their thinness will be eroded, and some of them have thought enough about it to understand that they don't like that idea. It has to be a short term solution, because otherwise there might be people who stay on them forever and be as thin as they are because they can afford £150 a month indefinitely.

This is why it's funny to watch.

Why does it bother you?

Empathy I'd imagine. I feel sad when I see homeless women walking around with their kids even though I've a nice cosy home.

I think also there is a particular type of slim person who feels smug that they have 'earned it' and other people shouldn't be allowed to cheat.

Yes.

Not all slim people, of course. Lots of them see right through the nonsense. I wasn't like that when I was skinny. But a selection.

I think the pace of life is different.
My mum and grandmother cooked from scratch every day, and when it was gone it was gone. sweets were a treat. We played out for hours on end. You know the blurb.

But they were housewives/very part time. Because although they didn't have much spare cash, my granddad's and dad's firmly working class jobs meant we had a suitable family home, a reliable car, grocery money and a cheap UK holiday each year etc... the stuff that brings stability.

I never had homework until secondary school, did dance classes cheaply in the church hall.

These days it takes DH and me two professional jobs to afford a similar house etc. We are lucky that we can sometimes work from home, earn well and have a cleaner, so we have a fighting chance if cooking healthy food etc. if we were working these hours in entry level jobs we would have no chance of sorting everything out and cooking well etc. but there is far less time to cook, sit at a leisurely pace round the table etc. when we are home, the kids have mountains of homework etc. the road we live in is 100 times busier and kids couldn't play out there.

We make a big effort to be healthy, but I am guilty of making it to Friday and ordering pizza instead of cooking. I've started to go jogging again now the kids are old enough to be home alone, but this was much harder previously.

It's a vicious circle...buying good food is costly, if mum and dad are both working long hours there's no time to prep healthy food and encourage the kids to eat it etc.

Then these become entrenched habits, which kids have grown up with and hard to break.

What happens to all the excess skin after people have lost weight? Unless someone can afford surgery then isn’t that just as bad?

To come back to the clothes discussion (as I feel strongly about this), I don't believe the objection to body positivity is that tight clothes are simply not flattering. For one fitted clothes are much more flattering than big billowy items.

I think it's very much a case of "UGH, put it away, I don't want to look at that, who do you think you are, you should be hiding that body away" It's clear there are people out there who feel anger at overweight people and think overweight people are not entitled to feel any pride in their appearance or enjoy their bodies.

No, she is saying I am not fat and don't need to lose weight. I absolutely do.

It is flappy and wrinkled. I have seen people in my gym with their skin hanging off them.

I am a sahm and cook from scratch every day....the thing is food is just so much more exciting now compared to what our grandparents and their parents would have eaten. Boiled veg, potatoes, plain meat,...all quite bland and not something you would necessarily want to keep eating. But now we are exposed to so many different types of foods...from all corners of the world. Even when you're cooking from scratch with proper ingredients, it's just so much more tempting. I make Mexican food, Chinese, Indian, Italian, Thai... everything. Its so flavourful and varied

Well

She's either seeing you differently to how you see yourself
Or
She's lying because she loves you and hates to see you feeling bad about yourself
Or
She's lying because she likes you being her fat friend and doesn't want you to change

It wouldn't generally be as bad for their health, no.

empathy and the knowledge that my vastly overweight mother suffered dreadfully in her 60’s-80’s and I’m trying to avoid it as I have arthritic knees.

That's a really good point. We expect food to be an enjoyable experience, not just something to stop us being hungry.

With this particular person, I was saying I needed to lose weight. She said I was fine as I am and don't need to. She is bigger than me.