Why can't we discuss how fat we've all become?

[Nodinnernogift]

Obesity is becoming the norm. Why aren't we allowed express concern or any views that are less than celebratory about this?

I mean seriously why?

If whole parts of your country were in the grip of a meth addiction we would be allowed have a discussion about it.

National campaigns to stop people smoking are applauded.

Look around you. Look in the mirror. We are all getting bigger and bigger. It reminds me of when people would visit the US in the 80s / 90s and come back with tales of huge people and massive portion sizes.

Does nobody care? It's like the Emperors New Clothes. I don't get why it's a sacrosanct topic.

Yabu - it's nobody's business
Yanbu - it's fine to address this as a societal problem

Nail on head! A daily walk is one of the best ways of maintaining health. I moved out of London to the burbs. I walk to work and back (mile each way) and into town for top up shops. (Mild weight lifting carrying shopping)

People think I'm mad and often get friends or colleagues roaring to a stop urging ne to jump in.

Car centric society is bad for us in do many ways. I truly believe the age of jumping in car to go here there and everywhere is coming to an end. We haven't the space! And pertinent to thus thread, they are so bad for our physical health.

Disclaimer. I know public transport is pants and we need a big imaginative rethink over how we all move around.

I truly wish that I'd have grown up like that. Instead it was big portions, must clear plate, pile of half a loaf of buttered bread in the middle of the table to be shovelled down with the meal and a dessert as well.

My full switch was overridden so much in my childhood that I never learned to eat before full and actually enjoy those first few bites.

Even now, my DM will try to get my (slim) DC to finish their plates even if they are full or don't want any more. I have to step in to give them permission to only eat what they want.

Because everything these days is seen as some kind of ism or phobia or shaming....

I'd love to know what MNetters think when they see a fat person in public. Are you thinking 'I'm glad I don't look like that' or 'look at the state of that' , or do you simply ignore?

That's a reductive argument, and it's used too often when bigger people object to being treated like shit/to the assumptions that get made about them.

@Superhansrantowindsor
Not sure if this is helpful but I do exercise classes, I’m on medication that makes me uncoordinated, I wear glasses which fly off in classes but also make it hard to see the instructor and the equipment without a moment to refocus, I go bright red and sweat like hell with any cardiac exercise (to the extent that people comment on it)in short, I’m no Jane Fonda, but no one cares, they’re just happy to see another person sharing an activity they love. One of my favourite people at the classes comes in, chats to people, no ego just an awesome energy and she throws herself into it, makes mistakes, falls over but is a joy.

All I’m saying is don’t let that put you off, most classes are lovely and if they’re not, it won’t be because of the number in your clothing label, it’ll be because they’re dicks.

edited because of this stupid swiping thing that makes you lose the quote you’re replying to. Can’t you get rid of it mumsnet? It’s awful!

The injections are NOT simple solutions. They are drugs with side effects that do not tackle the source of the problem. They have their place (amongst other diabetes/weight management treatments) but the bubble is going to burst soon.

I agree. I remember in the early 00s suddenly noticing crowds of teenagers approximately half of them were overweight which was new. What was also new was the larger girls in the group weren't covering up, they were wearing the same mini skirts and belly tops as their skinny friends.

Its because of the spread of toxic body positivity and also people like Kim Kardashian’s ( just one example) parading around an extremely large posterior in skimpy clothes which made the same behaviour popular with young girls

It became very popular to love and accept your larger body, overweight teenagers would be walking around with the skimpiest of shorts and getting complimented for it ( toxic body positivity) but of course a lot of these overweight teenagers never lost the weight ( why should they when they were getting compliments for it) and then became very overweight / obese adults

I think this is really important. What we observe and experience in childhood is going to frame our habits for life. The weekly shopping was a contentious topic in our house for a few years after DC came along.

One day I said it straight to DH. "We are both overweight. It's not just me. I am not simply asking you to support ME. We are both overweight as a a result of our lifestyles. And we both exercise a lot. So it's the food we eat. We might not mind. That's our choice. But if this is where DC is starting out they will almost certainly have a lifetime of battling being overweight. We have to do better."

Having him actually onboard made it all so much easier. It's still challenging especially how he got to goal in three months and I'm only halfway there.

@Blueskies25 I think we should all love and accept our bodies as I think that makes us more proactive in taking care of them.

I think seeing your physical self as purely decoration for the rest of the world is where the true toxicity lies.

I don't think anyone is overeating because they think it's great to be big.

Yep this is it, exercise is for everyone. You don't have to be slim to join in or even fit. It's just about moving your body and feeling good.

Anyone who judges another person for taking care of themselves is a loser and should be pitied.

I do remember an idiot ex colleague on a rant about a women's mini marathon one hot weekend, she was saying the running shorts were disgusting with all the middle aged jiggly bits hanging out. "Leave it to J-Lo ladies" The men in the office were guffawing and she was very obviously enjoying the attention. I had done the race (in leggings probably) which I didn't bother explaining but I silently wrote them all of as utter twats.

Well none of the above. I don't think anything about that particular person but it gets filed away along with other information like

'the shop is full of teens'
'women are very stylish around here's
'people are much taller here than at home'
Etc

Look up the class issues around exercise and the exclusion of the working class

Agree, but you can’t disagree that ‘ toxic body positivity’ has led to people being more comfortable/ led to more acceptance of their overweight bodies which prevents them from loosing weight and therefore having health issues that are then a burden on the NHS and tax payers

What do you mean the bubble will burst?

I don't really understand what toxic body positivity is! I think most people would prefer to be slim if it was an easy choice. I don't think feeling bad about yourself inspires you to get into shape. I think the opposite happens.

I also know when I became bald and obese during cancer treatment I appreciated the fact I could follow bald influencers on Instagram and I could consider outfits that I saw on models my size.

I don't consider that toxic.

I think we need to stop putting the emphasis on attractiveness levels when thinking about weight.

I don’t know anyone who truly loves their body. “Toxic body positivity” (not a real thing but I accept that’s what the poster has termed it) is a myth

So, the conversation shouldn't actually be about how fat people are, which is what your thread title suggests you want to talk about. So maybe the conversation needs to be about what can be done on a societal level to help combat obesity? That, I'm ALL for. But going in circles about how people are fat and are getting fatter serves no real purpose...

I think we need to stop putting the emphasis on attractiveness levels when thinking about weight

I really don’t think that is ever going to change
I don’t really understand why you started this thread, your subject matter was ‘Why can't we discuss how fat we've all become’,

You’re answering your own question in your follow up comments so surely it is obvious

So I'm aware this is anecdotal but it honestly isn't the case in my fitness studio. All shapes, all sizes, no judgement, lots of support. Some really fit people in fantastic shape working hard beside people who are at far earlier stages on their way to goals.

YES.

I realised a few pages in I had phrased it all wrong at the outset. It's the not being able to tackle a problem as a society that I object to.

You've articulated it very well.

Are you trying to imply that being overweight is solely a working class issue because I can assure you it is not

Genuinely it’s not. This is the most bizarre part of the conversation. That it’s something to do with being working class, or poor.

eta- of course poverty comes with poor health- but that’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about excluding non poor people from
the conversation because they’re ok. Which they are very much not

WLI definitely aren't a magic bullet, and yes being potent drugs they can throw up issues of their own. However, I disagree that they can't tackle the source of the problem. My experience of being on them, as I currently am (I'm not going to say which drug as I don't want accusations of trying to promote or sell them 😂) so far has been that they've served as a massive motivator to me to overhaul my habits, in as much as they're costing me a bloody fortune and I will not allow that money to be wasted. (I know there are reasons for obesity besides lack of willpower, but I'm speaking about my own experience here, and for me poor eating habits and lack of willpower have always been the stumbling block.)

I made an informed decision having read up on the pros and cons, which I imagine most people do tbh. The 'spur' for me was being diagnosed with fatty liver, which my dad died of, and obstructive sleep apnoea, and realising that my conditions were harming me far more than the jabs were likely to.

The jabs and the accompanying appetite suppression have allowed me to get out of the habit of wanting/buying/eating certain foods and this has allowed me to work on eliminating sugar cravings, the main reason I have been overweight so long. My eating habits have always been worse when I'm stressed, so I've taken also steps to manage stress differently/eliminate or reduce some of the causes of stress in my life. My point here is that I'm trying to make lifelong changes, not just 'coasting' on the drug so to speak.

Has it been a perfect/straightforward experience? Definitely not. I'm no poster child for WLI, I've had some spectacular falls off the wagon since I've been on it 😄and it's still a work in progress. I do know it's going to be hard when I'm off them. But for the first time I've returned to the weight I was in my 20s (in my 50s now), am no longer clinically obese, still roughly a stone overweight, but I'm planning to continue until I've lost that. I honestly don't think I'd have even got to where I am now without the jabs. The results so far are serving as their own motivator tbh, and having reached this point I absolutely refuse to slip back into old habits when I'm off it. I think this gives me a decent chance of keeping the weight off.

Like I say, I'm not trying to promote WLI, yes they can be dangerous, and the side effects can be grim. Based on my own experiences I definitely agree they have their place, but I disagree that they don't tackle the root cause. Like any dietary aid they won't work for everybody, but in some cases good results can allow for long-term eating habit changes to be made. JMO.

I don't care what teens of any size wear, but I think most teens wanted to.look nice. Tight fitting clothing that shows a lot of skin is generally not flattering on larger bodies.