Appropriate Punishment for a Cheating DP

[Limprichteabiscuit]

Went for a lunch break catch up
With an old colleague not seen in yonks.

Knew them and their DP socially, years ago
when all our kids, now mid teens were small. The DP was very, very overweight. Think 20 odd stone, not tall.

My friend showed me a recent pic with all the weight their DP had lost- jabs and gym. It’s several stone, incredible transformation - (smoking hot fitty to be fair) Looks younger now than 8/9 years ago when we were all friends.

Anyway friend states with new found body came new found opportunities and that DP had a ONS around a year ago. They moved on as a couple but DP has recently admitted to staying in touch and meeting up with ONS partner twice since for a meal and sex. Now begging my friend for forgiveness for sake of life together the kids, house etc. (they have a wonderful
home now)

Friend is toying with idea of ‘forgiving’ DP but only on condition that the maintenance jabs stop and gym membership is cancelled. Sees DP being fat and unfit as the protective factor that ensured fidelity all
these years so it needs to be a return to the old ways. The jab money will now accrue for friend to have an abroad holiday with own friends.
Friend very honest that not remotely bothered about health impact on DP as feels very wronged, and wants a punishment to fit the crime.

Once the weight back on and fitness down friend states may leave DP as by then will have had plenty of time to think and ‘get ducks in row’ if need be. But may not. Not clear yet.

Friends DP had begged instead that my friend has a fling or a holiday or anything but the jabs n gym but friend is holding fast and DP has till weekend to decide.

I was blown away - I’ve only ever heard one other comparable revenge story (I posted on here once - about my mum’s hair dresser and their cheating spouse where a whole house was essentially destroyed - think water soaked furniture with cress thrown everywhere, seafood squished into every nook and cranny including curtain pelmets etc) spray paint , taps left on etc etc

But that was essentially rage fuelled.
this feels very long winded and playing the long game.

what does anyone think ? GENIUS OR UTTEE LOONEY TUNE

Your friend is a loony.

She should gather her dignity and simply leave, instead of playing utterly stupid games.

She should dump him immediately. Any arsehole who thinks that a woman would have a revenge fling to even things up and let him off the hook shouldn't be in her life any more other than when collecting his kids!

I’m a bit creeped out by this. It’s clear that your friend hates her partner - she needs to split up from him. I can’t imagine staying with a partner who would sleep with other people but who I’ve kept so unattractive they don’t get any interest.

Your friend sounds... not very nice. He's mad if he gives into these demands. I really hope he doesn't - for both their sakes. They both need to move on.

She just needs to leave him. Damaging his health benefits no one. I'm a firm believer in once a cheat always a cheat.

This sounds more like a thought experiment, than any actual suggestion of a real-life wronged partner.

Looney tune. And vindictive and nasty. He’s an arsehole for cheating, but he’s also an idiot if he stays with this woman who clearly doesn’t like him very much.

What a load of nonsense. The relationship is over. Leave and move on.

Yep. Revenge just leads to more revenge. He did a shit thing but it’s controlling to say what he does with his body healthwise.

Exactly, who wants to be with someone who wants to be with other women yet can’t just because of lack of opportunity?

bonkers, pretty funny though

Do they have kids ?

The relationship is dead....walk away.
This plan is crazy and will result in hurt for everyone.

This is one of the maddest things I've seen on here. Yes she's fucking off her rocker.

Utterly ridiculous. Sounds like they deserve each other but the poor kids shouldn't need to be part of this shitshow.

Horrible and controlling. They’ll both be happier apart.

I think it’s a punishment/revenge more than a safe guard against more infidelity.
if friend stays it will be for practical reasons/ shared resources and fear kids may chose to live with DP ( a possibility as main carer )
Replaying in my mind now. Maybe friend was exaggerating a bit for effect- showing a bit of control in the situation maybe?
I was blown away said just boot out luv! (LTB - no?)
Just Spoke to my parents who are over for dinner - they don’t know the couple but think it’s hilarious and very fitting for that level of betrayal. They think it’s ironic and apt.

No self respect either of them. Think they both sound nasty. Feel a bit sorry for them that their lives have been reduced to this. Poor kids in the middle of all this bitterness.

Funny as a thought. I would have voted for having husband tied up to a clear and being forced to watch his wife having sex with a young, hot, well endowed man.

However, relastically I'd propably tell her to pretend for a minute everything is fine-ish while she gets her ducks in a row.

Can't see it ending well tbh. He'll probably go (or she'll get totally pissed off).

I couldn't be doing with his behaviour fit or fat.

meh. Not my (or your) circus not my monkeys

Not really vengeful at all but the type of “punishment” a 12 year old thinks up. Very childish. Her partner clearly doesn’t give a shit about her either way

Life is too short for these miserable games playing with your mental health. Move on,leave no revenge just go.Tell your friend!

I think if you're going to stay with the person you have to really forgive them, not forgive them with strings attached (other than no further contact with the affair partner, if course). I think this relationship needs to end.

Completely insane. And he'd be insane if he went along with it.

The only acceptable consequence (not punishment) is the end of the relationship IMO.