To think something is off here?

[Thegirlinthegreenscarf]

Way back early 2022 my colleague said that she got diagnosed with stage 4 Glioblastoma brain cancer. Of course we all naturally felt so sorry for her and since have done everything we can to make sure that her life is easier. She has a husband and two young children. In 2024 my colleague said that she had surgery which removed most of the tumour but she was still terminally unwell.

The thing that's at the back of my mind is that she's never changed in appearance never looks unwell. Still puts in all the work hours etc.

Am I being unreasonable to think she's maybe playing us all?

Oh amazing! I’m looking for a new podcast to listen to! I’ll be straight on that tomorrow!

You may want to avoid that show but you could watch the 60 minute episode on her. She’s sick tbh.

I’m sorry to hear your cancer is terminal. It must enrage you to hear about stuff like this.

On the basis of 1% suspicion

I think my friend does this. Is it because the drugs are ‘chemo’ drugs?

My father went through chemo ( alongside surgeries ) , he lost a lot of weight and looked very poorly it’s nigh on impossible for someone to go through a round of chemotherapy and still look on top form I’ll be honest . Is there a reason that this is bothering you ? Or are you just feeling something is off and a bit sickened at the through that she’s lying about this ? our friends little boy just had a brain tumour head was shaved and back left side of the head was operation site with a visible scar . to operate on a brain cancer and the way they do it they definitely would have had to shave hair , and cut open a sizeable area which would definitely be noticeable even a month or three later . I hate to think of anyone lying about something so awful but some people are not getting the attention they need in general and invent these things and dig a hole so deep they can’t get out of it ! I also know someone who I suspect has munchausens by proxy every month there’s a new “ possible cancer “ i dismiss conversation with this person about medical stuff and move the subject swiftly on !

My sister was diagnosed with it - we were told it’s extremely aggressive. I sat by her bedside for a month after diagnosis, watching her die. I think you’re right to be suspicious.

Recently cared for somebody with this. If all the tumour was removed, it's quite plausible that she could appear as normal until it comes back, which they almost always do. I think 18 months is average, so 3 years is not impossible at all. It generally depends on where the tumour was and if they were able to remove it all. Does seem odd that there was such a quick recovery from surgery though, and radiotherapy following surgery would be standard treatment.

Years ago, I volunteered for a confidential telephone counselling service. A regular caller said she had terminal cancer and received massive support from the branch. Right up to the director, they befriended her and broke every rule of the organisation to help this woman with shopping, home visits, taking her for days out, birthday celebrations etc.. This went on for some time until, after she was admitted to hospital for an entirely different condition it emerged that she had never had cancer at all. She had shaved her head and even made a convincing catheter in order to fool the people trying to help her.
It's a condition and not to be taken lightly. Anyone so desperate to appear seriously ill probably is, but not in the way they want you to believe.
No idea if this is the case with your colleague but from what you say, I'd be wary.

I would be suspicious. Cranial surgery in itself has slow recovery and I wouldn't expect it within a few days, especiqlly for something like stage four glioblastoma.

A grade 4 GBM diagnosed in2022 but she didn't have surgery until 2024? No one, absolutely no one, would leave a GBM for 2 years if surgery was possible. Was she claiming to have been on treatment? You'd be fortunate to have 2 years even throwing all treatment at it. Is it possible she has a different brain tumour diagnosis?

Disclaimer - I do cancer related stuff but am not a neuro oncologist. But I've known patients with this aggressive diagnosis and the timeline as you've described it makes no sense to me.

Oh god, you absolutely need to backtrack here. First, it's a GRADE 4 cancer, not stage, that means something different.

I recently lost my husband of 41 years to a Grade 3 brain tumour. His prognosis was 3-5 years if you're lucky, 12-18 months if not (with that latter scenario meaning it would have become a Grade 4). He lived nearly 8 years. On the Brain Tumour Charity support page, there are indeed many people who die within months or years with a Grade 4. But there are some who live several years. It depends on so much.

For many people, the first choice of chemotherapy - temazolomide - is reasonably well tolerated. It's pills not intravenous, usually a few days per month. For my husband, it just made him very tired in week 3. Nothing more. Radiotherapy is usually soon after surgery, daily for a few minutes for some weeks. Again fatigue is the main consequence.

People wouldn't have known there was anything wrong with my husband except that his speech and memory were hit, because of the tumour location. There's a helpful gif showing life with a brain tumour, of an iceberg in the sea. Top bit is labelled something like "You look fine" and then the 90% below labels all the hidden side effects and consequences.

So honestly, unless you've got solid evidence something is amiss with her story, you have to drop this. If anyone had judged or suspected my husband as exaggerating or faking his illness, it would have absolutely broken me. And it was hard enough to deal with all the people saying "Ooh he's looking great! Doing so well!" and I wanted to say "you haven't a fucking clue"

I have a brain tumour everyone’s body reacts differently to them , I’ve been left disabled and cannot work anymore , the people I know with a gioblastama struggle as it’s the most deadly brain tumour , I find it strange you’ve noticed nothing , no one can have brain surgery and chemo and radiotherapy and no one notice as they make you ill and you lose your hair too , I hope she’s not lying as that would be disrespectful to others genuinely suffering , she would have taken lots of time off work too

glioblastoma grade 4 is the most aggressive incurable brain tumour there is. Treatment is surgery if appropriate, then chemotherapy and radiotherapy which are both extremely debilitating. My horrific experience with an extremely close dear person with this disease was they had 9 months from diagnosis til death. This 9 months was blighted by surgery to debulk the tumour, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, massive doses of steroids, hospitalisation, hospice care and death. It's not JUST a brain tumour it's the worse you can get, I've heard it called the terminator. The usual prognosis is 12 to 18 months. A small percentage of people may live over 12 months with it but only 5 percent with treatment are still around in 5 years. So your friend must be of the 5 percent or an anomaly.

I've read some more of the comments and am quite angry really. Wtf is all this "my friend was different so she's fibbing" crap?

1. There are dozens of types of brain tumour. Dozens.
2. It does NOT always result in personality change at all. Depends on the location. My husband's was in the area that affects speech and language. He remained the same absolute sweetheart, pretty much until the end.
3. You can indeed be up and about soon. My husband's awake craniotomy was 14 hrs. He was discharged 4 days later, having proved to the physio team he could make a cup of tea, make toast and go up and down stairs. He was away with the fairies and struggling with language, mind, but he was up and about.
4. He did not have visible scarring. He had a small extremely neat scar on his temple, covered by his curls. His biggest problem soon after was an infected lesion on the back of his head where he'd been held in a tight clamp for 14 hrs.

What has become of us as a society that we might think this is our business and be sceptical of people facing such a dreadful prognosis?

Except the OP’s colleague has said she has a glioblastoma. That is an always incurable brain tumour that leaves you disabled and your appearance is unmistakable. Most people do not survive beyond a year. I understand why OP is questioning it (anonymously) given those of us who have experience of it.

Glioblastoma is always Stage 4 (nothing to do with grading). I understand given your experience with your husband why you are annoyed but it’s not the same by a long way.

My relative lived for 6 weeks from diagnosis.

If she’s had time off work or they’ve had to accommodate her in various ways you’d have thought they’d have required evidence to do so. Of course she could have faked it, but it’s unlikely they wouldn’t have asked for something.(and if she provided a false document that’s now fraud, a criminal offence). And your employer can of course check up on it (by contacting the named doctor for example).

But I agree with you, it’s very unlikely she’d have lasted this long without physical signs, deterioration, etc. And if she had an operation there would be physical signs, eg scars - you have to drill holes in the skull to access the brain!

I will await your apology. I just googled it to check. It's referred to on the Brain Tumour Charity website and others as a Grade 4. Grade is the type.

I took a screenshot but it won't let me upload it.

Staging is the point it has reached. Eg I had a grade 2 uterine cancer, thought at first to be Stage 4 as they thought it had metastasised, later thought not.

This clarifies it

So sorry to everyone on this thread that has shared stories of loved ones and friends. I am surprised at the posts about people who have made up and lied about having cancer, I can't get my head around that tbh. The must be really unwell mentally to do that.

With regards to my colleague its not something that I think deeply about or impacts my life. It was just a niggle at the back of my mind so I thought I'd ask on here for opinions. I would definitely never say anything to anyone about this, will keep quiet and see what happens in the future I suppose.

A bit different, because I have had a different type of cancer, but a very aggressive sort. Mine wasn’t metastatic though, so not terminal although I had to have 3 years of several types of chemo to stop it as it was on the point of spreading. However, I carried on, worked through chemo, carried on doing the school runs, exercising when I could, doing most of my normal stuff and I didn’t particularly want to talk about it as cancer can become all consuming with everyone asking how you are all the time.

so I would cut your colleague some slack - maybe she is faking, but quite possibly she isn’t. My mum has had stage 4 cancer for 12 years now but it’s not the same type as your colleague and is very stable with meds luckily. A friend of mine had a benign brain tumour, had it removed and has had no further trouble, but that was never cancer as it was benign.

Just also a note to everyone talking about shaved heads - chemo makes your hair fall out, you don’t shave your head! I mean it makes all your hair fall out, everywhere on your body (although I only lost half my eyebrows for some reason). It really annoys me when people talk about cancer patients having ‘shaved heads’ and ‘brave the shave’ irritates me for similar reasons - shaving one’s head is nothing like your hair falling out I promise.

I know someone who faked cancer - you don't imagine someone you know would do something like that - I don't want to say anything too outing - they lied to one person for a specific reason - but word got out and it spiralled out of their control and they couldn't actually say - actually I made it up. I can't remember how it was uncovered. They died a few years later - not of cancer.

I think if you don't have any proof just assume they are telling the truth but be careful around money requests.

With the greatest of respect, and I’m so sorry to hear you are suffering with cancer, glioblastoma is completely different.

It is one of the most, if not the most, aggressive type of cancer. If the colleague had surgery to remove the tumour as she claims, her head would have been shaved in part at least. I do not believe, after watching a loved one die of this bastard disease, that the colleague has glioblastoma.

Yes, I had a friend who lost her care to chemo. That's why it was so obvious when my relative shaved her hair.