To think something is off here?

[Thegirlinthegreenscarf]

Way back early 2022 my colleague said that she got diagnosed with stage 4 Glioblastoma brain cancer. Of course we all naturally felt so sorry for her and since have done everything we can to make sure that her life is easier. She has a husband and two young children. In 2024 my colleague said that she had surgery which removed most of the tumour but she was still terminally unwell.

The thing that's at the back of my mind is that she's never changed in appearance never looks unwell. Still puts in all the work hours etc.

Am I being unreasonable to think she's maybe playing us all?

To clarify - my relative had shaved her hair all over - no sign of an operation site. (Plus there was no word of her ever being accompanied to chemotherapy by anyone in the family and no word of an operation of any kind.)

I have incurable cancer which has spread to various places, including my brain. I have 3 weekly chemo and brain radiotherapy when new tumours pop up. From the outside I think I look normal, and I've long outlived my prognosis (they thought I'd live for a year or so....that was 5 years ago!) I've two young children and many mums and dads on the playground have no idea i have incurable cancer. Of the people who do know, I'd be horrified if it even crossed their minds I'd made it up!

That’s a red flag for me tbh. I had TWO different work colleagues fake cancer. One of them was very attention seeking and appeared in several local rags. The problem was, her shaved head never had any bald spots. Her partner was totally duped.

Had a colleague some years ago died of glioblastoma at 27. He had operations beforehand which prolonged his life but had hair loss and scaring where his skull was opened to get at the tumour. He lost some function, memory, speech etc., with every op. Only lasted two years after diagnosis. If your colleague doesn't have obvious signs of an op or deterioration she's very lucky.

Sounds unlikely to me. My parents both had grade 4 glioblastomas. My father survived 10 months, much longer than his consultant expected, with just steroids, but he was very ill throughout. My mother 's tumour was debulked but she only survived three months. Glioblastomas are usually only found when they metastasis, which is why they have such a poor outcome. I would be very surprised that your colleague could appear well and without symptoms. I suspect Munchausens.

I have a friend who definitely has cancer. She's not faking.
To the outside world, you'd never know. She looks fantastic, always happy and joking with a huge smile. She's still got her hair, but had lost some weight.
Even after major surgery, you'd never know unless she told you.

I'm so incredibly sorry xxx

Yes already posted before but reiterating that it I don’t believe it’s something easily hidden. It’s brutal and devastating. Surgery is huge and has a significant recovery depending on location of tumor. Treatment (chemo and radiation) is also not something you just sail through. Radiotherapy to your head region almost always has serious fatigue as a side effect.

I’m sorry you feel you need an apology. I had grade 2 breast cancer. I understand grading. Glioblastoma is a stage 4 cancer from diagnosis. No amount of removing, debulking, chemo, radio, is going to change the outcome tragically and that outcome rarely surpasses 18 months. Both of my young, fit, previously healthy friends were within a year.

Me too. Stage 4 inflammatory breast cancer. Been “well” for nearly six years if you discount the endless days in bed, sleeping off the hideous chemo, the awful side effects. She looks fabulous and long may that continue ❤️

Look. Stop it. You don't know what you're talking about. Have some respect. Ignorant woman

When a family member had a brain tumour it was well hidden by long hair, but after a lot of treatment she was weak and exhausted and being sick. She could not have hidden it or worked for months. Thankfully well now

I'm going to add something here. A really ignorant person is taking me to task for highlighting that a high level brain tumour is called Grade 4 not Stage 4 and arguing with me about it. I was carer for my late husband for 8 years, with his GRADE 3 brain tumour. He never had a Stage, because that is not used, certainly in the Uk. I have been trying to add screenshot showing how and why staging is not used for brain tumour- google is your friend here - but I think mumsnet is not uploading them. Staging is for showing how cancer has or hasn't spread. Brain tumours rarely do that.

Out of respect for brain tumour patients and their families, I think this woman an anyone else continuing to insist on the wrong terminology needs to stop now

Tricky one. Have you asked her about the particulars of her treatment? What medication does she take, what amounts and when? Is it consistent with what you can research? What hospital/ consultant is she with? I know you can look them up on the General Medical Council website. Is this lady known for being honest, or the opposite? Do you know her family? What are they like? Could they enlighten you? I'd certainly be asking all of these questions to prove or disprove her claims.

With great respect to posters detailing now you can have various types of cancer and not look ill, a GBM is not that. It's very aggressive, very quickly. If this person has said a low grade astrocytoma that would be plausible, but glioblastoma no. So either it's a different type of brain tumour, or it's a lie.

Stop being so bloody rude and insulting me. In the last five years I’ve lost two close friends to Glioblastoma. It is a STAGE 4 cancer from the outset as it is NOT CURATIVE. There is no grading that is going to change that outcome. It is an aggressive cancer that even with surgery usually grows back within a a few weeks. Instead of being rude to me, read all of the posts from people, including me, who have experience of glioblastoma.

100%, maybe it’s cathartic to share stories but from what I can remember from the thread there isn’t anyone telling a story of this exact brain tumour which suggests that this lady’s story is likely. Other types of cancer are irrelevant as are other types of brain tumour.

having said that the OP is right not to get involved because even if there is a 1% chance the lady is being honest it is still a chance and a mistake not worth making.

@Muddlingalongsomehow Please be mindful that aside from my own experiences of glioblastoma, I’m a cancer survivor myself so do not dare call me “ignorant”. Absolutely outrageous and insulting.

@Muddlingalongsomehow

I don’t think the other lady is saying it’s curable or similar, just that the words ‘stage 4’ are not used for this sort of cancer. Which does make sense as staging is normally related to spread. So stage 4 has spread to distant organs. This wouldn’t be the case with a gliobastoma, horrific as it is.

Nobody is taking you to task. You’re just wrong. Would you like to talk to my very young widow friend who has just lost her husband to Glioblastoma. STAGE 4 from outset. Your staging argument is absolutely valid for other cancers. Not this one.

The other lady is being aggressive and rude. Grades and stages are different. I know this as I’ve had cancer. My two unrelated friends who had glioblastoma were stage 4 from the outset (ie. not curable). Nothing to do with mets. Just the nature of that particular cancer.

I had a person very close to me claim to have incurable brain tumours, they supposedly went into spontaneous remission and then they reoccured - both times when it was very useful for them to garner sympathy and be seen as heroic. I became suspicious and did some digging, it was a lie and something they had done before. They moved away and did it again. These people know that it’s very unlikely people will question them.

I have explained it. Google it. The term is clearly set out. I have tried to post screenshots.

You are removed from this. You were not the carer, I was. You didn't have the conversations with consultants and nurses and support staff that I did. You are, I suspect, also not the mother of a doctor as I am, who would tell you the same thing. This was not your fight, however dreadful your loss was, and I think your lack of respect for me and my recent widowhood and years of experience of this disease is really shocking. It's not about you. I literally posted an article of why staging is not applicable here in the UK at least.

I'm withdrawing from this thread now. I came on here to enlighten the OP who is barking up many wrong trees and risks causing much upset. But you represent the very worst of Mumsnet, with your point scoring and sneering and massive ego. Just what sort of person harassed a widow and tells her she's wrong about her husband's illness? I hate to think.

Don't reply. I won't read it

Glioblastomas are graded .