Son being targeted

[Playdoh45]

My son is 15months old and goes to a wonderful nursery where he is otherwise thriving. The teachers are all absolutely lovely and I want to be clear, I know this is not their fault so this is where I am stuck.

There is a serial biter at the daycare , he is now targeting my son. They have obviously stopped lots of bites but he has been bitten 3 times recently. Breaking skin.
Most recently my son was playing alone with blocks and apparently the boy just came up and bite him randomly. Last time they were playing together and my son was walking infront of him too slowly and he bite him very deeply on the shoulder.

The nursery say they are working with the parents and monitoring him closely however..... he has been biting for many months with no improvement.

They can't watch him every minute of the day surely so when do we escalate this?

Biting is of course normal toddler behaviour but it's the same child going for my son (for whatever reason?) .

Anyone have any experience of this and can advise?

The notion that biting is part of normal development is a weird concept. I’d be horrified if my DS ever did it once. He has been at nursery for nearly 3 years and there has never been a single incidence of biting by any of the children.

I’d be demanding the child responsible is removed from the nursery until it can be proven he can behave appropriately. I’d also speak to the parents and make it clear what action I was taking and give them the opportunity to voluntarily withdraw their child from the nursery.

I’m afraid that you are wrong! You may have been lucky with your children, but I can tell you that some children bite. I trained as a nursery nurse in the 1960s, was a nanny, a childminder and a foster carer, and came across children who were biters in every situation. None of my children did it, but I regard that as luck, rather than anything I did as a parent. One of the hardest I had to deal with was the most lovely, sweet natured little boy who would randomly bite other children without warning or provocation, so I couldn’t predict it and distract him. He just gradually stopped doing it.

Regardless of the stated ratio, they should be putting in additional support for the biter to ensure that all other children are safeguarded.

The question to ask is… ‘what are you doing to ensure that my child is safe from harm when in your care, and will not be bitten again’.

It is not acceptable for them to say that they don’t have the staff available to provide 1:1 support.

How would you know?Nursery staff are not going to randomly discuss other children with you so if there are children who bite have been bitten you wouldn't get to find out ,and it's not up to you to demand other children be removed from a nursery.

And what action would you be taking ?

I know most of the other parents there not least because everyone goes to each other’s children’s parties every other week. It is inconceivable that it wouldn’t be common knowledge.

More fool you if you would remain silent in the same circumstances.

It's still not up to you to take it upon yourself to tell other parents to remove their child nor is it up.to you to " take action"

Are you the parent of a biter?

I am. To my knowledge a mass exodus did not follow DS when he started biting. I’ve had phone calls about him biting and have also had phone calls about him being bitten. It really is an incredibly common stage of toddler development.

My kids are teens ,I just find your replies quite arrogant thinking you can demand other parents remove their kids and this action you think you can take .

They should have a bite policy. It's been years since mine were in daycare but the bite policy was on the doors of the rooms

It’s never been normal. Both my kids are primary age and have never bitten or been bitten.

Toddlers can't read.

Literally, google ‘biting in toddlers.’

It really isn’t but feel free to believe it is if that makes it easier to accept.

I can’t imagine using a nursery where the staff and other parents thought it was acceptable.

I’d also speak to the parents and make it clear what action I was taking and give them the opportunity to voluntarily withdraw their child from the nursery

You give them the opportunity to withdraw their child? How good of you 😂

Don't be a clown.

Not wanting my child to be assaulted isn’t arrogance. Not wanting parents who think such assaults are acceptable to use the same nursery is also not arrogance.

“It happens” does not equal “it’s normal”

Unless you want to argue semantics on the meaning of “normal”.

We must move in very different circles. No wonder society is declining at an alarming rate if people are accepting of such incidents.

Also, I googled it. No where does it come up with “biting is normal”

It happens does not mean it’s normal.

Assault ??
They are toddlers ,one day it might be your child who is a biter
And nobody thinks it's acceptable btw ,but some toddlers do bite .

Quite. You tell them no, firmly, move them away and whatever strategies work, but apart from where SEN is an issue they do outgrow it.

Perhaps one of the questions for the nursery is to ask if they have records of how many times they have prevented your son being bitten? Is their monitoring actually preventing the bites being 10 or 20 instead of 3?

We definitely move in different circles.

I don't really know any adults who would have a full blown tantrum at their child's nursery - complete with demands of a child's removal and grand declarations to allow the parents remove their child before you 'take action' 🙈😂

You sound utterly ridiculous. And if you tried to pull that stunt at many nurseries you'd likely just be given your own marching orders.