Manual driving - need some encouragement please

[Drivingdifficulties]

Long story short for a number of reasons I left learning how to drive to relatively late in life (32 years old). I recently started lessons with a manual instructor but struggling a lot. I had about 15 lessons and left the last lesson feeling completely disheartened because I can’t seem to multitask with the gear changes, speed, traffic etc. I can see the instructor is getting impatient and frankly I understand. I’m feeling like a total idiot who can’t learn this basic life skill, it must be that I lost a brain cell or two after having DS (2). I do want to try and learn manual and would like to think everything is hard in the beginning but I don’t look forward to lessons at all. I would be grateful if someone could offer me some perspective and how you guys felt in the beginning? Thank you!!

Perspective- soon all new cars will be automatic because EVs are. The only need for manual will be older cars. Save yourself money by just swapping across and taking the easier route.

That said, if you are determined- at some point one element or another will become routine and automatic, leaving you free to concentrate on the other bits

I would just learn in an auto now as that’s the way we are heading, all auto’s and much easier to drive

Do you need to drive a manual? Most cars are automatic these days. I passed in a manual 25 years ago but haven’t driven one for 20+ years, and wouldn’t even want to try now despite DH’s conviction that it’s like riding a bike. Hill starts - no thanks. 😱

Gears are distracting until they become second nature.
It's ok to find them awkward and accept you won't be super smooth for ages.
I used to have set gears in my head like 30 mph = 3rd gear etc.
Going round a roundabout it doesn't matter if you can hear the gear struggling just change up as you exit.
Sounds like you need a kinder teacher.

I hated my lessons too. I'd look out the window and hope he'd forgotten me! I learned on and off and finally passed in a manual when I was 34. I had a manual car for three years, and then got an automatic and have not driven a manual since. I do wonder why I bothered to be honest. I LOVE driving now and have no issue going to new places or driving in busy cities. I know I'd feel different if I still drove manual. It's up to you though . I don't know anyone who enjoyed their driving lessons!

I learned in a manual but after I failed my test the first time, I switched to an automatic. I didn’t want to risk failing another test, when I knew that I only ever wanted to drive automatics after I passed anyway. I felt pressured into learning manual because people always bang on about it being better, but I wish I’d just done auto from the start. I’d have passed a lot quicker and saved myself a lot of stress.

Even when I was test ready (according to my instructor), manual gears never felt natural to me and every single junction made me nervous. I was a perfectly good driver in every other regard, and the only minors (and the one major that made me fail) were either directly gear issues or issues caused after I’d panicked/been distracted by a gear change.

Just go for auto like others are saying. I can drive manual but LOVE LOVE LOVE driving my auto!

Most cars certainly aren’t automatic now!

Ditch the instructor and find a new one that helps you feel relaxed. Be really honest about your frustrations and anxieties with them.

Is the instructor taking you on busy roads. Maybe you just need more practice on quieter streets so you can do things at a pace you can cope with until you are ready to go faster. Try another instructor before you give up all hope.

Most new cars are auto, but I wouldn't say that most cars on the road are. I agree if you're struggling then learn auto but it will restrict your options when buying a car unless you buy new or nearly new.

I learned it a manual when I was 20. Failed. Never bothered again. Am now 38 and taking lessons soon.

Learn in an automatic.

Seriously. Nobody has manuals any longer. Make life easier for yourself! No extra stars on the licence for a manual.

Just go for an automatic license. I think automatic cars are going to become increasingly popular anyway. Everyone I know who has switched to automatic have said they don’t know why they didn’t do it years ago!

Martin Lewis says insurance is cheaper on manual cars. You might also be finding the mechanical side of driving harder because, as a mum, you are instinctively more concerned about safety and are therefore more focused on the road.

However, an automatic is so much simpler, and automatic gearboxes are the future. Less than 30% of new cars sold in the UK in 2023, 10% fewer than the year before (source: What Car?) By 2030, if you want to buy a second hand car that is less than 5 years old, you will struggle to find a manual gearbox. Just switch to an automatic.

There was a Sunday Times article last week (21 April) about the decline of manuals… I quote: “Manual cars make up just one in five new car sales and could be near extinct within five years, according to research.”

Change your instructor. Sitting next to some one you feel is bored of you and critical is bad on so many fronts, but if that is what you think it’s no wonder it’s all so overwhelming! One does feel as if one doesn’t have enough hands/feet/eyes initially but you are learning a new skill and it’s hard, whatever your age. Your instructor should know this and be encouraging. So before you change anything else, try a recommendation and see how that goes.

Learning to drive at 30ish is awful-at least it was for me! I struggled so much and hated it! I did eventually manage to limp through my (4th) test and drove a manual for 15 years. I turned into an OK driver. HOWEVER I recently bought an automatic and it is so so much easier and better to drive in every way. If I was you I agree with the others here that I would just swap to an automatic and do thr automatic test. It will be quicker and easier and you won't find the choice of car that restricting in the future.

having looked forward to being able to afford driving lessons for what felt like ever after my first lesson in went straight home to bed and literally hid under the duvet. No surprise that you are feeling overwhelmed.

Nowadays, I can’t remember when I last drove a manual car (not by choice I was rather proud of my manual driving skills.

its much easier to learn with someone who can control and not show their impatience with you as you learn a new skill.

start with automatic, given that’s all you need now. Once you have that licence and are more comfortable with driving, nothing to stop you then learning how to change gears.

good luck and dump the current impatient instructor, who will definitely not be helping your learning. Good luck

I struggled with manual for about a year before accepting that I ‘wouldn’t be able to drive any car’ and switched to automatic. Passed within 13 months and it’s like driving a go kart!

All cars will be auto soon enough, and if it auto is the only way you can drive - like it was for me - then to hell with what anybody else thinks! As long as you are safely able to control your car, it’s nobody else’s business.

Times article last week says only 1 in 5 new cars sold now are manual. They could be 'near extinct' in 5 years. Many manufacturers don't sell manuals at all any more.

You're paying. You're the boss. Discuss your needs with the instructor.
Tell him/her that you need better instruction and more practice in quieter areas. As an instructor, he should be able to give you the support you need.
Since he's paid by the lesson, I don't see why he'd should object to taking a slower pace. If anything he should be dragging it out as long as possible.

I taught DD17 the basics with gears/clutch. We went to some quiet car parks near us and just practiced going through the gears, especially pulling away, for a while before we went on any roads. In the bigger car parks, I saw driving instructors putting pupils through their paces. This actually created just a little traffic - the perfect amount for learners.

I learned to drive in a manual but was only 19 at the time. If I were you, I’d just switch to an automatic and get the steering and road awareness stuff nailed down first. You can always pass your test in an automatic then go back and learn to drive a manual if you want to, but get yourself on the road first.

It's utter bollocks that manuals will be 'near extinct' in 5 years. There are plenty of manual cars that are a few years old that will still be on the road in 10-15 years time so unless you only drive new cars, you will be limiting your choice by not being able to drive a manual.

However, if you are in the market for a nearly new car, or accept that it might take a bit extra time to find an older automatic, then if you're not getting on with a manual, it's worth trying an auto only licence.

You've only had 15 lessons

If you follow the idea that you need 1 hour for every year of age, you're only half way through..

I remember when I was learning I'd have some good lessons and some awful ones then in one lesson it all just clicked and it all became second nature.

I hadn't driven for 10 years then I drove a manual car and after two minutes it was like I'd never been away

With regards to cars, yes there are less new manual cars but if you're buying second hand you'll have a much greater choice of older cars if you can drive both manual and auto

DD, who is dyspraxic, learnt in an automatic. I have driven an automatic for more than 15 years and would never switch back.

It is better to drive an automatic than not at all.