Manual driving - need some encouragement please

[Drivingdifficulties]

Long story short for a number of reasons I left learning how to drive to relatively late in life (32 years old). I recently started lessons with a manual instructor but struggling a lot. I had about 15 lessons and left the last lesson feeling completely disheartened because I can’t seem to multitask with the gear changes, speed, traffic etc. I can see the instructor is getting impatient and frankly I understand. I’m feeling like a total idiot who can’t learn this basic life skill, it must be that I lost a brain cell or two after having DS (2). I do want to try and learn manual and would like to think everything is hard in the beginning but I don’t look forward to lessons at all. I would be grateful if someone could offer me some perspective and how you guys felt in the beginning? Thank you!!

I encouraged ds to learn in an automatic because he was finding the multitasking very tricky and it was the right thing for him - learning to drive has been hard for him and he's been hard on himself - following the sat nav instructions were a real battle, but the more practice he has, the more comfortable he feels when driving. He has one lesson a week and we do between 3-10hrs practice with him every week - he has good days and bad days but he is improving and at last he can feel it and I think he'll be ready for his test in June. But it's been a slog, and it is for some people but it will eventually click. I'd change instructors...it's not nice feeling like someone is impatient with your learning.

At the moment it is beneficial to have a manual licence as helps when hiring a car or if you need to drive someone else's car.
I am glad we have an automatic so much easier as can concentrate on the road and not the car

Swap to auto. Far far easier to learn in. There’s enough to be thinking about on busy roads these days when learning without faffing with gears!

Unless you are thinking about doing professional driving or hiring a lot a cars you can probably get away with an automatic only licence.

But automatics are more expensive to buy. And if the gearbox breaks it costs a fortune to fix them.

Auto is so much easier, it takes all that coordination stress out and you can concentrate on the road and other cars, so much safer. I struggled with manual for years and passed straight away in auto. There’s no medal for driving a manual

I drive a manual but honestly being able to drive a manual doesn't make you a better driver than someone who drives an automatic. I have a lot of friends who struggled with manual and switched to an automatic instructor and it certainly relived a lot of anxiety for them.

As other people said, we're heading towards more cars being automatic anyway so I wouldn't put yourself through the stress of a manual if it is causing a lot of anxiety.

As pp have said, no shame in going for automatic.

I'd change instructors anyway if you are getting impatient vibes from your current one. That's pretty rubbish of item. It took me ages of learning to drive and I took my test a few times and never got a whiff of impatience from my instructor.

Learn in an automatic. It will really help. Like another poster said by 2030 pretty much all new cars will be electric and therefore automatic.

I learned on manuals and have always driven manuals except for the odd rental. When I learned automatics were the exception and generally more expensive to run. This has changed in recent decades. I still keep a manual but mainly because I use four wheel drive in situations where four wheel drive is needed and in that situation I still feel manual gives me better control. This could just be me sticking to what I know best.

If I couldn’t drive manual I’d simply switch to automatic and do the automatic test instead. There are no medals for manual driving - do whatever works for you.

Just go auto. It’s the future

Stick with it the majority off jobs will state manual license it’s a life skill and will limit your job opportunities in the future

I passed later too at 34. I persevered with manual and whilst I only find it especially hard it was never natural.

6 months after passing I changed to an automatic and have no clue why I was so hung up on manual - I’ll never drive manual again if I don’t have to.

Having learned and practised in the era when manual was the default I have never in my life been required to show a manual driving licence for a job.

Some jobs requiring driving a company vehicle as the main part of the job may do this but the idea that job opportunities in general will be noticeably limited is simply not true. Even fleet vehicles are increasingly automatic and moving to EVs.

Go automatic. Honestly.

I insisted that my DH learned in a manual (he is 30 and passed about 6 months ago). I always drive manual cars and I wanted us to be able to use each others cars if required. He learned in a diesel and to my horror he just could not get the hang of my petrol car. The biting point was a real issue. We got him an automatic and I don’t think he’ll ever drive a manual again.

I can drive auto but find I have to really concentrate on not looking for the non-existent clutch and slamming the break on by accident. My next car will probably be an auto so that we can access each others cars!

Another vote here for changing instructors. I was really struggling with an instructor who didn't really explain things (because she'd been trained to let the driver learn by doing - but I wanted to learn by doing what I was told and why). Then when I changed instructors it suddenly became way easier. I think what helped the most was finally getting my head round what the gears actually do and exactly what the clutch was for etc. Also the new instructor was willing to tell me exactly what to do at roundabouts, on dual carriageways etc. so that I could focus on one thing at a time, e.g. I could think about the gears because he would tell me what lane to be in and when to get in it.

I'd actually started learning a few years before, but then had moved away and not restarted straight away. My original instructor used to draw me little diagrams and explained how the engine worked etc. before setting off each lesson, and I'd never been confused by gears before, so it surprised me when restarting with instructor #2 that I was struggling so much. I think she just wasn't very good at adapting her teaching style to the pupil she had.

What jobs state a manual licence? I've had many jobs where I've required to have a car and it hasn't made the blindest bit of difference what sort of licence I've had.

If your job requires a degree of technical driving (paramedic, police officer) then a manual licence might be needed (though I could be wrong!) or other sort of specialist vehicle I.e bus driver. But for the overwhelming amount of jobs an automatic licence is fine. And given the OP has got to 32 without needing a licence I'm sure this isn't even a concern for her.

When I learned to drive many years ago, I was told that you need approximately 1 lesson for each year of your life..if that's true , then you're only halfway through the learning process. Do you have practice sessions outside the lessons with someone else?
Personally, I found using gears the easiest part of driving ( do it by sound) and the action soon becomes automatic. But if you are not practising between lessons it will take longer.
It may be that you decide that it's not worth the extra stress, and decide to go for an automatic licence instead, and as lots of posters have said, that would be a perfectly reasonable decision.

Lots of jobs. Any job with a work site or requiring any type of driving for the job will state manual license. Police, military, paramedic all manual. I’d imagine any job working manual labour or a trade would also
require. Electrician, builder, plumber carpenter. Surveyors. Doing estimating ect. Lots and lots of jobs.

I had a friend who wanted a job and couldn’t apply for it cause she didn’t have a manual license. She could have got it but with kids and everything she just didn’t have the time to get it.

Learn automatic.

Just go to automatic.

I know quite a number of people who learnt in manuals, and happily drove them for years. Then switched to automatic, and swore they'd never go back. They rave about them.

I could have written your post although my instructor is more patient.
I’m in my early 40’s and 28 hours in. I’ve told nobody I’m learning so am not doing any driving outside of lessons. The initial shine and excitement of finally having another go at it has worn off I’ve moved my test date back once already and now I’m dreading the lessons again.
I really wish I’d gone with an auto instructor but the waiting list was way longer and they were more expensive per lesson.
I keep reminding myself of all my DC’s dopey mates who can drive when they can’t remember to flush the toilet but I don’t know if that just makes me feel worse!
I think a big thing for me is I don’t really learn or remember well what I’m being told, I need to read things and you can’t really do that for driving.
I think we will get there though, it’s just a case of practicing more I suppose.

Oh I hated my driving lessons! I had a couple of instructors for various reasons, and did so much better after ditching the one who I could feel bristling with impatience, as if me making mistakes was a personal slight against him.

At some point though, the mechanics of actually driving the car became second nature (practicing in my own car helped with this), leaving me to concentrate on everything else. As a pp said, one element will eventually "click", which will lose/reduce the "mad multitasking" element you and most people struggle with. Trust your muscle memory to kick in eventually.

Nerves, having to concentrate so hard on so many things at once, a general lack of confidence and gaps between batches of lessons held me back and it took a few times to pass. But after that I relaxed, and I think(!) I'm a pretty good driver now - no dramas in 20+ years and I can hill start and smoothly reverse park and everything 😆 Still drive a manual, but will probably get an auto next. If you can possibly get a manual license you'll then have the full range of car buying options, and remember things like car hires etc too (I know autos is where it's heading, but it has been nice not to have to worry about it ever). But if not, auto will be fine! Good luck.

Exactly, I’ve done plenty of different jobs where I needed to drive and never been asked.
I can see if you were driving one of their vehicles but that’s specific to certain jobs.

Sounds like an instructor problem. I didn’t pass until my late 20’s and I had a few attempts with different instructors. My last one was the best - he specialised in anxious drivers and whatever I did wrong he claimed to know someone who had done worse (some of them were probably fabricated but it was reassuring). My favourite anecdote was a woman who apparently panicked and tried to get out of the car while it was still moving at 35mph.

I think driving just comes more naturally to some people than others. Even then everyone’s got something they’re bad at - I liked hill starts and the gears but took
so long to learn reversing that my instructor stopped and made me talk it through on a diagram (somehow my brain couldn’t grasp the concept while the car was in motion) 😅