To throw DD(2) knickers away when she has an accident?

[GingerLiberalFeminist]

That's it in a nutshell.

She's 2 and 4 months, she initiated potty training a month ago so we went with it and she is broadly dry. However she has stopped doing poos on the potty and is doing them in her knickers 🤢

She seems to wait to do an enormous poo and it's often quite soft (she eats a lot of fruit) and it goes everywhere 🤢

I'm honestly sick of scooping sh*t out of tiny little knickers and then them still coming out stained from the wash. The pair today I put in a nappy bag, poo and all, and binned.

NB we do put her on potty routinely (going out potty, coming home potty, after dinner potty) but her poos have lost all routine (maybe she's withholding?!).

Am I being unreasonable?!!! And any advice?!!

to some, not to me and it seems many others

Id rather throw out and rebuy over scrap shit
My weak stomach was very grateful

Rubbish. People have only got lazy about toilet training since disposable nappies became. 'The norm' instead of cloth nappies. I was 16 months clean and dry day and night. Most of my generation were under two and it would have been most unusual if a child was still in nappies at 2 1/2. )I'm 55)

'Proper' cloth nappies are just that a square or rectangle of nappy fabric that you fold into the correct shape. Reusables are moulded into shape with places for inserts and liners, et cetera. A kind of halfway house..

You might want to be more specific🤣. I wouldn't be surprised if all the.'just throw them away' posters, would think you were talking about boiling them in your kettle!! 🤣

Kids' knicjers are really cheap - l am all for being kind to the planet but nah l would chuck em out!

Have a look in the Eric website for ideas. If it's soft it could be overflow from constipation. Might be worth a trip to the doctors to check for any signs of impaction or other cause.

And if it's so sloppy it has saturated fabric and needs rinsing rather than dropping into the loo with a bit of encouragement from a poo spoon or old lolly stick it's not going to block anything when you rinse it. You can always follow it up with some hot water if you're concerned.

I always binned poo pants. Sorry, but there's enough "other shit" to deal with in parenting, without adding poo pants into the mix!

I remember my little boy having a poo accident in Reception once. They sent the pooey pants home, and they didn't even make it through the front door. I sent other child in to retrieve a couple of carrier bags, triple-bagged them and put them in the dustbin there and then. Pooey child went straight into the bath.

Scrape off the poo and flush down the loo. Or hold under the water in the loo while you flush. Or if very liquid, rinse under the tap. Then put in an old saucepan with a bit of Vanish and washing powder, add water and boil. May need a slight scrub with a brush. Or put bleach/water mix in a bowl to get the stains off (if knickers are white). Then boil (as above) or straight to washing machine. It's really not difficult! :-)

I take it you are vegan , don’t fly, and don’t own a car?

No. Just flush anything away and wash.
We used washable nappies and wipes also, so would not occur to me to throw away pants.

Do you use laundry powder? Persil or Ariel powder, on 60. 2 years of nappy use and everything was still white and no stains. Hang outside also. Pants shouldn’t come out stained if washed properly

At least the kids and their families in 3rd world countries will be thankful they’ll carry on being paid a few pennies a day for all the knickers they make to replace all the ‘cheap’ ones that get binned.

Stains left after washing in the machine from biological dirt, so blood, poo, tomato sauce etc. can be removed by leaving the item on a sunny windowsill for a day or hanging outside in sunlight. The stain usually just vanishes.

She’s clearly not ready if she’s having accidents every day. I had learned by then too. Also anecdotes from parents decades later aren’t always accurate.

People are always gonna shop in Primark and Shein whether we agree with it or not. And in general, l buy mostly 2nd hand but trying to get poo out of knickers is not how l choose to spend my time

Maybe they're not always accurate, but mine is, I know this for a fact, as we went travelling around Europe & my mum took a few spare nappies just in case there were any problems, but they weren't and I didn't have any accidents, I was 16 months old when we went.

she initiated it and she was clean, she has started doing it in her pants, this can be a developmental stage when they get scared about all sorts of things. The OP just needs to talk to her and reassure her and see if there's anything to make it feel okay again to use the potty or the toilet. Kids around that age often have a fear of the poo being flushed away there are various books you can get for toddlers to come to terms with this.

It doesn't mean she's not ready.

Hold (tight) under toilet flush, then cold soak with or without detergent before washing.
Straight into a hot wash will often 'seal' a stain making it impossible to get out.
This phase, along with some of the really sweet things toddlers do, will soon pass.

Wasteful and not good for the environment but you do you.

Maybe some of us wait for our child to be ready so it is an easier process. My daughter was past three before she was dry in the day and I suspect my boy will be nearer four before he is. Every child is different.

My three year old has toddler diarrhoea. I don't think I will be keeping many of his underwear when we get on with potty training!

I once was on a train with newborn dd and she did a massive up the back poo. I completely panicked and threw her babygro out of the train window. I cringe to think about it now-imagining it hitting some poor British rail worker….

Indeed. I don't think nappies are easier, portable potty is smaller and less gross. We used cloth and mine wasn't ready until over 3 and much later to be dry at night. I don't recall delaying because I was having such a nice time washing nappies.

I'm not arguing with anybody doing what they want to do. It wasn't any difficulty for my mum to 'toilet train' me. And it hasn't been any difficulty for me to 'toilet train' either.. me and the children were ready,

IMO a lot of people miss opportunities when the children are smaller and wanting to be out of nappies then they get too used to it too interested in other things and don't want to be out of their nappies & can miss the ideal slot, making it much harder.

But it's up to everyone what they want to do, I'm not interested in arguing about it. 😊

We tried many times, starting when the first wave of peers just got it. Mine kept wetting themselves and getting very distressed.
When he was ready it worked, just like that.
Different kids are ready at different times. It's probably partially genetic, when kids start developing the ability to interpret the messages from their body. That could explain why your mum and you had similar experiences.

Yes definitely bin them. She’s (hopefully) not going to be having accidents for long. Just buy the cheap basic big packs of knickers from Asda until they are reliable with accidents