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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up of lying friend

23 replies

blancmangebelly87 · 26/04/2025 16:37

What do you do with a friend who is a habitual liar and you have to assume that almost everything they say is lies? Been mates with someone since school, don't see them regularly anymore but we keep up with each other on WhatsApp. They've told me they're terminally ill but they sent me a pic of them apparently having treatment, it was just an arm with wires coming out of it. So I put it on Google image search and it was taken from someone else's twitter account. Basically it wasn't their arm and not them having treatment.
All the things they say about their treatment don't make sense and another friend who has a medical background has confirmed it's inaccurate. They're also obsessed with status and claim to know all these celebrities but I've never seen any proof of this. I don't know why they do this, I'm not rich, don't own property, I'm a sahm and my life style is very down to earth, I couldn't care less about celebrities, so are they trying to impress me or just bigging themselves up? They've lied a lot since school and everyone knows it but they go along with it. I'm unsure whether to say I know it's lies or to just let it go along with it. I do like this friend otherwise, we've known each other a long time. Obviously they have their issues but the lies about the illness is wrong on so many levels and I'm sick of going along with it.

OP posts:
sunshineday850 · 26/04/2025 16:55

That's so bizarre, can't understand why anyone would like about that. I don't know if I'd be able to continue the friendship. Have you ever called them out on any lies?

MoreChocPls · 26/04/2025 17:06

I couldn’t be with someone who lies about being terminally ill

toomuchfaff · 26/04/2025 17:08

Tell them you know they're lying, you're not sure why, you're not interested why, but you don't associate with liars so you're going to withdraw from the friendship and wish them well.

Bubye now

ComtesseDeSpair · 26/04/2025 17:10

Agree with previous poster - I couldn’t maintain a friendship with somebody who lied about being terminally ill, whatever other supposedly nice qualities they had. I have a couple of acquaintances who are elevenerifers, and I can overlook that to some extent, because it’s just trivia. Your friend clearly has some form of mental illness or personality disorder to have spent an entire lifetime lying about things for no apparent personal gain, but lying to those around them about serious shit isn’t something they can expect anyone to overlook.

Mortifiedbyme · 26/04/2025 17:11

Cut all contact. Anyone who lies about terminal illness is extremely mentally unwell and unstable. I know because I did it aged 17-18 and I was extremely mentally unwell.

CynicalSunni · 26/04/2025 17:14

My cousin is like that.
Always lying about small things that dont matter or has some bombastic stories.

I dont know if she realises that i think everything she says is a lie. Or she must think i believe them all.

Its been part of our relationship for so long i dont know if i would even bother to 'call her out' on it.

Could the peopke out there who lie like this let me know?

  1. Why do you do it?
  2. And do you realise that we dont actually believe you?
londongirl12 · 26/04/2025 17:16

I would cut all ties with someone who lies about a terminal illness. That would be it. What have they said when you called them out on it?

SunshineAndFizz · 26/04/2025 17:20

Agree this is a terrible lie. Honestly, I’d screenshot your photo proof and send it to her, asking why she’s lying.

I couldn’t be friends with someone like that.

Mortifiedbyme · 26/04/2025 17:25

CynicalSunni · 26/04/2025 17:14

My cousin is like that.
Always lying about small things that dont matter or has some bombastic stories.

I dont know if she realises that i think everything she says is a lie. Or she must think i believe them all.

Its been part of our relationship for so long i dont know if i would even bother to 'call her out' on it.

Could the peopke out there who lie like this let me know?

  1. Why do you do it?
  2. And do you realise that we dont actually believe you?

I lied about being terminally ill. I was very severely abused throughout my childhood and even more as a teenager.

I was extremely damaged. I was also put on a lot of drugs that I didn’t actually need due to my mother trying to cover up what she was doing by making out I was unwell and then obtaining prescriptions and if I ever told anyone the truth about the abuse she told everyone I was lying, she cried and I was told to stop lying. I developed an eating disorder and this is when I started lying. People started to worry about me and I liked the attention as I wasn’t used to anyone caring, I think I wanted to see how much they cared so I told a few friends I was actually dying. They cried and I felt loved. It was absolutely awful as I was really by that point genuinely mentally unwell.

blancmangebelly87 · 26/04/2025 17:57

londongirl12 · 26/04/2025 17:16

I would cut all ties with someone who lies about a terminal illness. That would be it. What have they said when you called them out on it?

In the past when I and others have known it's a lie she just insists it is true and comes up either outlandish things. She'd never in a million years admit it's a lie. I actually think she knows people are onto her but she can't stop. I've not called her out on anything recently.

OP posts:
Rosie8880 · 26/04/2025 18:13

Your friend is ill - I don’t know enough to comment properly, but they have either behavioral or psychological issues contributing to this. something is not right to compulsively lie and also about such grave serious matters. It’s impossible to be friends with someone properly whislt they continue to behave in this way as there is a barrier btw you - they are lying, you know they are lying.

Mickeychampionwhatgoodami · 26/04/2025 18:14

As with all pp ,The lies about being terminally ill is something I couldn't overlook .

Rosie8880 · 26/04/2025 18:14

Mortifiedbyme · 26/04/2025 17:25

I lied about being terminally ill. I was very severely abused throughout my childhood and even more as a teenager.

I was extremely damaged. I was also put on a lot of drugs that I didn’t actually need due to my mother trying to cover up what she was doing by making out I was unwell and then obtaining prescriptions and if I ever told anyone the truth about the abuse she told everyone I was lying, she cried and I was told to stop lying. I developed an eating disorder and this is when I started lying. People started to worry about me and I liked the attention as I wasn’t used to anyone caring, I think I wanted to see how much they cared so I told a few friends I was actually dying. They cried and I felt loved. It was absolutely awful as I was really by that point genuinely mentally unwell.

I am so sorry to hear this. Massive hugs to you X

Eldermillennialmum · 26/04/2025 18:15

I had a friend at school who lied a lot and about silly things that didn't even matter. She made up stories. We reconnected a few years after school and we became friendly again but it soon became clear she was still a liar, lying about things like family members being seriously ill. The friendship didn't last.

Coconutter24 · 26/04/2025 18:19

Munchausen syndrome - google it. This doesn’t sound like your friend is just telling a few little lies

blancmangebelly87 · 26/04/2025 18:25

Coconutter24 · 26/04/2025 18:19

Munchausen syndrome - google it. This doesn’t sound like your friend is just telling a few little lies

Agree, it does sound like it. I'm not on Facebook but I know someone who has her on there and they say she has nothing about celebrities on there or being ill, it's her and her partner going on holiday and her swimming ( she's on a swimming team) and it coincides with when she's telling me she's really ill. So at the moment I think it's just me she's telling all these lies to and to everyone else she's being normal.

OP posts:
Ribenaberry12 · 26/04/2025 18:27

I have no words of wisdom, OP but I agree with everyone saying to cut ties. I knew someone who lied about a friend dying to get a day off work! She lied about having therapy, lied about her sexuality, lied about her parents jobs, it got to the point where it seemed everything that came out of her mouth was a fantasy. It was bizarre and exhausting. Still no idea why she did it it was like the most extreme of attention seeking.

blancmangebelly87 · 26/04/2025 18:28

Another lie was that she was at the Baftas with a celeb friend. If that was true then she would have shown me a pic or put them on her instagram ( which is public) but she has not. She probably thinks I'm the most gullible person in the world cos I go along with it, but I know it's lies.

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 26/04/2025 18:30

I used to know a woman like this, and as you say, the lies made NO SENSE AT ALL. We're not friends any more, bit as far as I know she's still at it.

NormasArse · 26/04/2025 18:31

Sounds like a mental disorder. It doesn’t feel kind to call people out on shit like this, but it’s better than going along with it.

One day she might realise how stupid she appears.

pimplebum · 26/04/2025 18:41

If I cared about a person who did this I’d find it hard to cut them out but i’ d be firm on calling it out and insisting they got help

not an expert but I’d say it was hard to treat as it’s so delusional and entrenched , fascinating but frustrating

beetr00 · 26/04/2025 19:23

she sounds like a pathological liar @blancmangebelly87

Check out the table at the bottom of this article

couchparsnip · 26/04/2025 19:32

This goes beyond normal lies and into a serious mental disorder. She sounds like she needs a mental health check as she sounds fully delusional.

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