How much board money should I charge

[Cherryblossoms54]

I split up from my husband we have 3 kids (28, 20 and 18). I’ve just got a new job which is a decent wage and after bills I will now be left with £1300 which I know is a good amount but this doesn’t include food, petrol, savings, pension contributions, MOT contributions, or road tax.

all the kids live at home. oldest is in a minimum wage job which is good as he has autism, the 20 year old was at uni and working, but has given up uni as he hated it, so is trying to pick up extra hours at work where he can whilst trying to figure out what he wants to do next. He earns £12 a hour in his job which is a great wage for his age, but he ideally wants to go back to uni. Youngest is about to leave school and start college. Ex husband pays nothing towards the youngest two’s education, I’m having to do that myself.

i don’t know how much board I should charge the oldest two now I’m working with a decent wage. Given it’s all adults, the food bill can be expensive. None of them drive so I’m also a taxi. middle child is the only one who has passed his test so is trying to save for a car. He is really good at saving.

Oldest saves nothing, spends all his money on gaming, takeaways, junk food.

the 2 oldest were originally paying £400 a month because they knew I was struggling, they are really great kids, and my middle child said he still wanted to continue paying this when he gave up uni.

ive been in this new job for a couple of months now and I feel guilty taking this money off the kids especially my middle child as some months he might only have £800 if he doesn’t pick up any overtime.

can I ask advice as to what you all think would be a good amount to charge them for board?

If the older 2 can afford the amount they were paying, what is your apprehension with continuing that amount of £400? Maybe flex with the middle so its a lower amount if no OT?

Maybe just charge them for food if you are comfortably off. Ds who is 20 costs me c £55 weekly grub.

They should get used to budgeting. You are still helping them and it does them good.

For the eldest carry on taking the same but save half for them if they can’t do it themselves (but obviously discuss this with them) and the middle child id have it to £200 to give them chance to save themselves

He might only get £800 a month sometimes, but after food for 5 adults and car costs how much are you left with? Not £800 I’d guess.

You could do it as a % of income each month to be fair to them all, and to account for the wage variances?

Thanks this is all something to think of, DefyingGravidy it’s 4 adults although my oldest can at times eat like 2 adults himself lol.

400 is fine. That would even cover a room where I am, never mind food and bills. They'll never get to live so cheap again. £1300 is not a lot nowadays, I know, I'm a lone parent of teens. The food bills are astronomical.
I'd be helping your eldest make plans for independence though and that starts with saving, not wasting all his money. If you think you don't need the 400, take it and save it for him.

*wouldn't!

I’d carry on taking the same amount off both. When it comes to middle one wanting to buy a car I’d give him a couple of grand towards it, taken from the rent he has paid. You can do the same with the eldest when it comes to him moving out / driving.

I’ve said to him I would pay half of his insurance when he gets a car which will be a fair amount. He says he has almost £5000 save for his car, he is a great saver.

my oldest is never going to be able to drive. He wouldn’t be able to pass the theory part. I would certainly help him with moving into his own place. I think he is too comfortable just now though.

I think £100 a week is reasonable given it includes bills and food! They’d never be able to live anywhere else for such a low amount. If you have extra cash left over then maybe save it with a view to being able to give them something back when they’re ready to move on e.g essentially save it for them?

My DSS is 27 and earns nearly £30k. He pays £250 pm. £400 sounds a lot to me.

Keep taking the 400. It's a contribution from adults to running the home. It's part of adulting and a good life lesson. You shouldn't have less disposable income than your adult son's because you are subsidising their fripperies. 🤣

Ive been in my new job for a couple of months and I don’t have much money left over, I think last month I had almost £90 left to save, then the car needed a new tyre. However, I need dental work done and I’ve had to put that off to save for it as it’s almost £300. I need new glasses but can’t afford them.

I was hoping to start and get my hair done a bit more often but I don’t know when that will be.

Is that a 2 household income family or one?

£400 is the average I believe. We're South and older parents.

I have two adult DC living at home one is a student who commutes so I don't charge her.
My DS is moving soon but eats an enormous amount of food. I'll look forward to the saving.

Mine pays £450. It’s reasonable, and I don’t want to subsidise him. He doesn’t choose to save, so he’d only spend even more on rubbish. He uses a ton of electricity. I also want to ensure it isn’t so much of a shock when he moves out, too.

DD is 2 days at uni and 3 days working minimum wage (24 hours)
She gives me 100 a month. She is careful with money and I would rather she was saving for her future.
I am single household income and work full time, live in rented house.

Mines uses a tonne of electricity too, especially the oldest. My 2 oldest are gamers, the older one more than the other. All my kids have very healthy appetites.

Ive also just realised my energy deal runs out in June and my council tax has just went up so the figure I gave above will be even less. Oh and I haven’t included the insurance for the dog (who is actually my 20 year olds dog) but I pay the insurance and the vet bills which the insurance does not cover.

Everyone who has answered has given me a lot to think about. Thank you very much.

If you don't feel right taking the money why don't you just set up a separate a/c or two and save the money for them. Or save a percentage of what they give you.

I always took 1/6 of their take home while they were on low wages. Once they started earning a decent wage I capped it at £200 a month (pre Covid) as I didn’t want to profit from them, just cover their costs. That figure would obviously be higher now.

I’m going to have to have a good think about it. I am panicking a bit now I’ve realised my energy deal is running out. I will need to have a look at that. I’m about £400 a I month just now, but in the winter I’m more so for 3 or 4 months I pay more to my energy bills so I’m not in debt.

£100 per week sounds fair for your oldest. It is a great deal including rent, food and bills. I think it's better training for standing on his own two feet later than taking a more token amount. If you can afford it, you could take a small amount of that and save it for him towards a rental deposit one day. You could also encourage him to save a regular amount into a savings account himself, "pay himself first", even if it's a token amount. April is a good month for this if his wages have just gone up.

With your younger one I still think £400 is fair but you could maybe reduced it temporarily until he has more work, or again save some of it for him towards uni or car expenses.

It sounds like you have well brought up, respectful young adults there. The fact they need you to drive I would treat as separate from their bed and board. You drive them as a parent/favour, it's not something they buy a right to with their rent.

Could you not just list all the bills and divide it by number of people...
I would say to them this is how house shares work....
For food ask if they want to buy their own or just a set amount per week.
Tell them any extra food money will be held over to cover holidays...

They are good kids Gymly. I’ve only said about the taxi sides because I am being asked to pick them up an awful lot. Last month I was £400 in fuel and my car is only a 1.2 engine. Usually I would be about £100 - £120 for myself for fuel.