How much board money should I charge

[Cherryblossoms54]

I split up from my husband we have 3 kids (28, 20 and 18). I’ve just got a new job which is a decent wage and after bills I will now be left with £1300 which I know is a good amount but this doesn’t include food, petrol, savings, pension contributions, MOT contributions, or road tax.

all the kids live at home. oldest is in a minimum wage job which is good as he has autism, the 20 year old was at uni and working, but has given up uni as he hated it, so is trying to pick up extra hours at work where he can whilst trying to figure out what he wants to do next. He earns £12 a hour in his job which is a great wage for his age, but he ideally wants to go back to uni. Youngest is about to leave school and start college. Ex husband pays nothing towards the youngest two’s education, I’m having to do that myself.

i don’t know how much board I should charge the oldest two now I’m working with a decent wage. Given it’s all adults, the food bill can be expensive. None of them drive so I’m also a taxi. middle child is the only one who has passed his test so is trying to save for a car. He is really good at saving.

Oldest saves nothing, spends all his money on gaming, takeaways, junk food.

the 2 oldest were originally paying £400 a month because they knew I was struggling, they are really great kids, and my middle child said he still wanted to continue paying this when he gave up uni.

ive been in this new job for a couple of months now and I feel guilty taking this money off the kids especially my middle child as some months he might only have £800 if he doesn’t pick up any overtime.

can I ask advice as to what you all think would be a good amount to charge them for board?

£400/mo seems very reasonable. It's the equivalent of £10/day for water, electricity, gas, petrol, council tax, insurance plus £30 a week for food.

They will never again have such a good deal!

i think you should be able to work hard to save for dental work
i dont take that much from my dd but i want her to be able to save money to leave, i guess that isnt such an issue with your eldest ?

I charge £200 , dd earns about £1200 after tax but she’s saving for a house deposit.

you could continue the £400 but put £200each away for the future. And give it to them when it will help them.

My advice is always to have a look how much it would cost to rent a room in a house share, and then also think about food costs on top.

Do this with your young adult so they can get a real feel of the financial costs of living independently.

If your board charge is lower than shared housing and food costs then you are charging a reasonable amount. They also aren't living with random people they don't know.

I have to say years ago on Mumsnet charging board seemed like sacrilege when it came up, it's been nice to see this thread has lots of posters agreeing it's fair to change board and to charge a good chunk.

OP if you are struggling to afford dentist and glasses etc and have working adults in the house please do not feel bad asking them to contribute!!

Ds earns £1795 pcm aged 20. Pays me £300. I have no mortgage and this pays his food electric share and 25 per cent council tax. He also saves tor a property investment and runs his own car. He is good with his money.

19yo earns £19,500 and pays me a nominal £100pm which probably covers the loss of the 25% council tax discount plus a share of utilities.
He buys his own food & toiletries, he says it averages about £50pw.
Cooks for himself.

If you think about it there is also wear and tear for which I do not charge. The armchair ds sits in is falling to bits. They cost a great deal to replace.

Read OP’s posts. That’s £1300 including the £800 she gets from 2 DCs, ie. £500 without.

Could you afford to feed 4 adults and spend £100 a week on petrol on £500 a month?

My two adults each pay roughly 300 pcm. One pays the council tax and internet which adds up to that. The other pays the gas, electric and water bills. Which is about similar. They settle up the difference periodically. They each pay for their own foods, toiletries etc and their own car or buses taxis etc. I pay the mortgage, insurance, repairs, new appliances, (we seem to get through vacuums and crockery and pans). As I see it, we are 3 adults. I work part time now as getting on and have too many aches and ailments to cope with full time anymore. They still have more disposable income than me. 🤣