to lie about my pasta sauce?

[TerryHall]

DD has a friend whose mum scares the living shit out of me. Perfect house, etc. Always organising wholesome, educational activities for the girls.

DD's friend said to me last week "I love the pasta here. My mum's so pleased I'll eat veg at your house. She says can you text her the recipe".

It's Dolmio with added sweetcorn and peas (yeah, grim, I know).

AIBU to say it's secret recipe of my nan's so I can't possibly tell her?

I couldn't imagine the person the op is worrying about would really overthink a pasta sauce, is it really worth all this angst?

Hahaha – when DD was small her favourite Mummy’s Magic Pasta sauce was… a tin of tomatoes, reduced. Nothing else. She used to tell her friends about it! 😂

Now I do: roast a big tray of garlic in skin, ancient tomatoes from the back of the salad drawer, peppers, aubergine, any other knackered and wrinkly vegetables, olive oil, S&P, oregano, at 180 for 45 mins. Squeeze garlic from skins. Chuck it all in a saucepan with two tins of tomatoes and a big blob of red pesto. Simmer through, then blend with stick blender.

^ Try giving her that one, OP: tell her it makes a very thick sauce and freezes flat in sandwich bags so you have 8,000 available for after school. You may desecrate it with peas and sweetcorn if you must.

Maybe that illegal herb is why Dolmios sauce is a top seller 🤣🤣

She'd absolutely know the OP was lying through her teeth saying that!

You don't grow tomatoes outdoors on an allotment for a start, they need high temps in a greenhouse (so it would beg the question "ah have you got a heated greenhouse with artificial lighting) and tomatoes definitely wouldn't be ready to be freshly picked in April, not if the OP is in the UK anyway.

Keep it simple, it's passata (which is basic tomato purée) with onion, herbs and seasoning, and peas/sweetcorn thrown in. What's the point of creating more problems than it's worth!

I’d say it’s -

tin toms
A spoonful of boullion
salt /pepper
3 cloves garlic
1 onion
mushroooms
1 carrot
tomato purée
oregano
basil

Fry off the veg add toms, purée, bullion plus couple of cans of water. Add herbs/seasoning, simmer for 5 min then blend.

That’s mine and it’s lovely. If you want bonus points you could add a cup of red lentils in after you add the liquid.

Just say “I just use any basic tomato pasta sauce and add sweetcorn and peas.” Skirt right over the issue of what the basic sauce is and where it comes from.

I’d just say it’s proper toddler food, jar and frozen veg.

I reckon the real key here is the sweetcorn, revolting stuff but my two both loved it up to about the age of 8. Ditto frozen mixed veg. Peas we are all a fan of anyway, one of the best vegetables.

I’ve also anyway seen some utter madness on mumsnet that frozen peas aren’t proper veg too so if the mum’s one of them…... 🤣

I have in the past had another mother comment about me being intimidatingly 'together' and I almost laughed in her face. It's honestly not false modesty - I genuinely couldn't believe her perception of me and swiftly disabused her of such notions!

I'm team 'Have the Confidence to Admit to the Jar' - it could be a bonding moment!

This is a good idea!

Actually tbh if it was me and the request had come via the child, I would probably just ignore it until the mum asked me directly 😂 And then if she does, “oh I’m so sorry I forgot, it was just a basic tomato sauce with peas and sweetcorn added, no recipe as such!”
Not really even a lie… 😉

I wouldn't lie, but I also wouldn't tell the truth. i.e. 'I love the pasta at your house'. 'I'm glad - it's nice to know I'm giving you something you like', rather than 'It comes out of a jar'.

I have been 'not lying' about my extremely popular chocolate cake for many many years, as in I accept all the compliments graciously and just don't mention that I use a bought cake mix (Wright's chocolate cake mix - if anyone wants to know. Delicious and 100% reliable). If asked I would admit it - my younger adult daughter already knows but I have never actually told my elder daughter. She may well know but I haven't told her. I'm not very good at cake making and this mix can be made in 5 minutes plus cooking time.

Bless you! Don't lie, just say "It's Dolmio, I use it sometimes because the ingredients are almost exactly the same as my recipe. I don't put citic acid in mine of course."
Never be ashamed of being who you are.

Don't text her but if they ask again say "It's just a basic tomato sauce with peas and sweetcorn added" which is true but doesn't give away whether it's home made or not. The mum probably just wants to make it for her daughter.