to lie about my pasta sauce?

[TerryHall]

DD has a friend whose mum scares the living shit out of me. Perfect house, etc. Always organising wholesome, educational activities for the girls.

DD's friend said to me last week "I love the pasta here. My mum's so pleased I'll eat veg at your house. She says can you text her the recipe".

It's Dolmio with added sweetcorn and peas (yeah, grim, I know).

AIBU to say it's secret recipe of my nan's so I can't possibly tell her?

If her daughter’s not eating her veg at home but loves it at yours then I suspect scary mum’s wholesome, scratch cookery might be shite, if that helps you feel better

I’m all in on Team Lie for this one. But keep it fairly simple and loose (like “ah, I just soften some onion and garlic, throw in a carton of passata and a can of chopped tomatoes, some mixed herbs, salt, pepper, you know, whatever comes to hand, and then whatever veg I’ve got in the fridge that needs using up”).

Vagueness is your friend here OP. Maybe sometimes you throw in some sugar, maybe sometimes some peas. Kinda depends, right? So when she mentions some bleeding obvious ingredient (tomato puree, for example), you can say “Oh yeah, of course” like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Whatever you do, don’t over complicate things or make out that it’s a specific recipe. That way lie doom and damnation and you won’t be able to style it out.

Been there, done that, worn the t-shirt of shame with the same friend for the last 30 years. They still haven’t let me forget…..

I always add a teaspoon of salt to my pasta sauce, and a half teaspoon of sugar. The recipe I use says to - the sugar is supposed to do something to bring out the flavour in the tomatoes.

I agree though, sounds like the recipe I use.

1. finely chop onions and galic
2. if using dried herbs (basil and parsley, teaspoon each), add them in now
3. add in a tablespoon of olive oil
4. sauté until onions are soft
5. add 1 700ml bottle of tomato passata (I use mutti brand as it’s the nicest one), 2 tablespoons of tomato paste, 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon sugar and fresh herbs, and vegetable stock (I make my own but you can just add 1 cube)
6. cook for about 20 minutes on low.
7. if the sauce is too runny you can thicken is with 1 tablespoon of cornflour mixed with 1 tablespoon of water, add the mixture in and cook for another few minutes.

I would be the same as you!!!
just tell her you cook a tin of tomato’s with some garlic and fresh basil, then add some veg and pasta.

Just send her the non jar equivalent recipe. When eventually she says it doesn’t taste the same just say you wing it and have adjusted it over the years so you’re not fully sure on what else to say.

All my “recipes” are sort of ever evolving so I wouldn’t be able to pass it on either.

I have zero words available to describe my horror at your Dolmio belief.

AI uses tonnes of energy to run. Is asking it such trivial, frivolous questions really worth it??

Not to be a fun sponge but seriously, why not just tell her? Her daughter likes it, clearly wants to eat it at home and the Mum is happy shes eating veg. To go to the effort of fabricating a recipe seems ludicrous, and to what end? Save the tiniest bit of face because you buy jar sauce like the millions of other people who do, because you think she’s some domestic goddess who would judge you for it? That’s pretty judgemental in itself!

If you then get comments about it not tasting the same as your sauce explain that different brands of dried herbs can affect the taste. I know from experience that a certain supermarket's oregano is horrible, very aniseedy, for example.

I once had a woman staying with me who was bloody demanding over her food. She wanted fish for dinner ( I’m a lifelong vegetarian) and it had to be wild caught, not farmed ffs…… I’d cooked a meal with a whole load of veg , lots left. So the next day I cooked onions, added garlic and a tin of tomatoes, chucked in the leftover veg and puréed the lot. Put it on pasta. She raved about it, best pasta sauce ever. I told her it was a recipe from my friend who owned an Italian restaurant in England ( the friend bit’s true) She was very impressed.

Yes, yours is your nan’s recipe and a family secret.

Or perhaps your passata is brought over from Italy from a close Italian in-law

I do kind of doubt that it’s the modified maize starch that gets her daughter to eat it - does suggest she likes a thicker smoother sauce? So you could go with sofrito cooked on a low heat, ad garlic, Italian tinned tomatoes, cook low and slow and bashed with a spoon, thyme, basil… And then you put sweetcorn in (BLEUGH hate sweetcorn)

You could also just look up a dolmio dupe recipe and send her that, there’s loads of them about

Dolmio is literallly some passata with a bit of onion, garlic, some sugar and a few dried italian herbs- you could easily make a virtually identical sauce from scratch.

I'd come clean. I've also made the same for my kids many times.

I remember my mum once had a similar situation. Another mum told her that her daughter really loved the dessert she had served and could she have the recipe. It was jelly!

My son used to come back from his Dad's raving about his step-mum's Special Pasta. He loved it.

I texted him to ask her for the recipe. He was evasive. Asked again. Ignored me. Cornered him at next pick up and got the recipe: tomato puree and grated cheese.

Your recipe is infinitely classier. I thought it was hilarious but also - 12 years on, my teen still makes himself Special Pasta here.

The mum won't care if her kid enjoys it.

Vagueness is your friend here.

'It's just a basic tomato sauce with some peas and sweetcorn thrown into it LOL'.

Ok I’m a shite cook but even I can make a decent basic pasta sauce, anyone who has tried it when they’ve come over has raved about how good it is.

Fry 2 chopped cloves of garlic in 2 tablespoons of olive oil over a low heat.

When fragrant add a tin of chopped tomatoes, half a vegetable stock cube, 2 tablespoons of tomato puree, half a teaspoon of sugar and a sprinkle of oregano. Heat over medium-high heat until bubbling then reduce heat to a simmer. Give it the odd stir and 5 mins later you have the perfect pasta sauce.

And then you can add the sweetcorn and peas 😁

500g 5% minced beef.
3 mixed Peppers.
1 onion.
2 oxo cubes.
3 garlic cloves.
Oregano.
Mixed herbs.
Red wine stock pot.
2 tins of tomatoes
Swirl tins with water.
Tomato puree when nearly done.
Plus the extra veg.

My kids love it 😀

I think you can make a friend here OP! Tell her the truth and commiserate over your kids being fussy buggers!

Tell her you add red wine vinegar to a basic chopped tomatoes, onion, garlic, basil etc.
And then actually try making it.
It really makes the sauce zing!

https://www.giallozafferano.com/

Here you go @TerryHall - bit more bouji than BBC good food 😆

Balsamic does the same 😋. Matts cafe sloppy Joe is so good.

Lol.. me too! I am a really decent baker, of anything other than Choc cake, but you just can't beat 'Aunt Bettys' special recipe... Also with her choc icing

Dolmio is the best. It's made by puppets you know!