To think just don’t offer them beige food?

[Ashlll]

Or am I spectacularly uneducated here? My sister has a 3 year old who apparently will only eat beige food and mostly crisps. She says it’s a sensory thing and we have to respect it when around him, for example when I took him and dd out last week I had to give him quavers rather than the snacks I had got for dd… which then made dd want quavers too! Same with water, he won’t drink it and it has to be juice.

I am not massively strict but did say to dsis just don’t buy these things then he won’t know he can ask for them… she says he just won’t eat or drink. I think this is ridiculous (I’ve not said this to her). AIBU?!?

I would say your last paragraph is somewhat true, but my vegetarian DD doesn’t want/ask for meat because it quite frankly looks unappealing. Whereas kids are surrounded by unhealthy snacks and food in colourful packaging with their favourite TV characters, eg Peppa Pig or Cocomelon on them and funny creatures. Food companies know what they’re doing and they intentionally try to lure kids in with their packaging. Likewise supermarkets put kids junk at eye level, so it’s very difficult to avoid it.

So a child who has never eaten junk food before is very likely to be tempted to eat it by the look of the item alone.

YABU - my toddler is also a fussy “beige” food eater, I’ve tried serving him vegetables, pasta and sauce, a bit of roast dinner, stew, etc etc - he shoves the plate away every time. the home cooked meals don’t get eaten - but the chicken nuggets, chips, pizza, ham sandwiches and fish fingers get devoured. At the end of the day I’d rather he ate than starved, I hope one day we have success but for now I’ll take a child who eats all his dinner!
you also mentioned sensory issues so there genuinely might be a reason to this if your sisters child is neurodivergent.

Honestly, my DD DOES starve herself for days on end. I didn't think she would, but she does. So plain pasta is a staple of her diet. She's older, so we can try and reason and bribe etc but it doesn't work. DS isn't like it and eats almost anything put in front of him.

Autistic

I’m sorry. I haven’t been through this but can only imagine how stressful it is. I used to get stressed if mine went a few days without enough greens so I can entirely imagine it would be horrific to also have judgment heaped on top of that. 💐

I’ve lived in lots of other countries and not noticed this in other cultures as being a ‘toddler ‘ thing …

For a child with no other needs then yes, some parents create their own issues by offering toddlers junk or limited food options and then wondering why that's what their child then asks for as they get a bit older. For others, it doesn't matter what parents do; their child will stick to very specific foods and not offering it means the child will willingly go hungry. It's a fallacy that if a child is hungry enough they'll eat the food they previously declined. Quite a few won't; they'd rather be painfully hungry.

I find it strange that when people have ARFID it’s always that they’ll only eat beige/processed food.

It’s never “ Oh he has sensory issues and will only eat broccoli and red peppers”

Hm.

She is absolutely NOT right!

Have you really read 8 pages of people sharing their experiences and then you come out with this bullshit??!

Yeah it’s not.

Maybe try educating yourself as to why? There is a wealth of information online at your disposal. Unless of course you don’t actually care and thinks it’s just made up tripe.

I think it's the same as babies and toddlers sleeping. You can and should keep good habits going, but some kids no matter what you do just will not get into a good sleep routine, they're just bad sleepers. The people that think they are magical perfect people whose routine is amazing- no, you just have a good sleeper. Same with food - if you continually give into any child and give them sweet foods and unhealthy things then that will likely limit their diet. But with some kids no matter what you do they won't eat healthily because they can't/won't. I was a massively fussy eater as a child but now much better - but still some quirks (eg the smell of mashed potato literally makes me heave, eat curry and rice separately etc). I couldn't stand certain textures, and still can't, despite being very willing to try new foods. You can't help the way you are.

Your statement suggests otherwise.

Not a single clue!!!

Toddlers everywhere tend to dislike the bitter compounds in vegetables.

Sugar ( before widely available) was Nature’s way of enticing children to fruits. That’s why having do much mass produced and added sugar these days is causing huge health issues; humans are programmed to be attracted and it’s now too reading available.

Many times pregnant women revert to childhood dislikes because pregnancy heightens taste buds and smell so we taste and smell like a toddler once more to protect us from eating things that might harm an embryo

So while this isn’t quite the same issue as beige, it’s well known toddlers are fussy.

My DS is autistic and genuinely would starve or dehydrate himself before accepting something that isn't his safe food. As it happens a lot of his safe foods aren't the typical beige, at his most restricted point (around 4-5) he was living almost entirely off cucumber, rice cakes and iceberg lettuce, but it was very stressful trying to get calories into him, and he was underweight for a long time until we managed to gradually add more foods.

Not buying or offering the foods he will eat won't make him eat other things, it will just reduce his intake further. If it's genuinely sensory issues, fed really is best and quavers are better then a feeding tube.

Yeah, I think I do if I’m honest. Fifty years ago children did not have these issues - whether they were neurodiverse or not.

I wonder whether BLW is a factor. Something certainly is, as it isn’t so much of a problem in other cultures and it wasn’t a problem years ago.

My DD is AuDHD by the way. She is fussier than the others for sure, but it hasn’t been enabled and she has always been given a wide variety of foods.

I know I’ll get slated for this as it’s a controversial opinion but it’s a hill I’ll die on.

Except "they" don't only eat processed food. They just eat bland food and for some people with Arfid that might also include one or two vegetables like cucumber or carrot. But that might be one of the only three or four items of food they eat. But carry on with your judgemental chin stroking. Maybe if you had read this thread full of people explaining Arfid you would have come across as such an idiot.

Have you not read any of the distressing and difficult situations so many posters have shared??

I fed my eldest home made baby food which he generally enjoyed and he ate a good range of things. From about 15 months, he started decreasing what he would eat until he had a very limited range. It has varied over time but remains very limited and largely beige. It was actually great when we discovered he would eat chicken nuggets because it was protein he would eat.

He can get stressed about food if he doesn’t have food that he knows he eats. He will sometimes try new or different things, but only if there is no pressure.

They absolutely did. You just didn't know about it.

It's not new

From the beige food alone as a parent to a child like this my mind goes straight to Autism and ARFID. They often run hand in hand and ARFID is a very real eating disorder common in autistic children. I am also thinking the not drinking water comes in here, my son will only drink milk.

I would be supporting your sister as getting the support her child needs will be a long battle ahead. I would advise if her child us as fussy as mine to contact GP to get the ball rolling now. Takes years under a dietician before they will diagnose and many kids with this do not get enough iron. That leads to anemia which can cause heart problems if not on iron supplements.

What you probably dont see is the battle she faces every day if the food is the wrong shade of beige. Believe me its a real thing. If my sons waffles are nit cooked at the same temp for exactly 11 minutes a side, he won't eat them because they are too light or too dark. It's exhausting but that's the joy of a neuro diverse child.

I mean, they did but not everything had a name back then surely?

it isn’t about enabling and I’m quite surprised you’re the parent of a SEN child tbf given the ignorance.

You can offer a great balance meals to your dc and still end up with a child who is picky.

But if you never offer a variety of foods, including foods ‘with a strong taste’ the child will never develop a taste for them!

A child that has a restricted diet might be a simple picky eater (who still need to learn about a varied diet) or one that has never been offered a variety of foods.

Fwiw I’ve always been amazed at how children seem to be eating many more things at nursery, when surrounded by other children, than they would at home.
Mines learnt to eat carrots and cucumber sticks they wouldn’t touch at home!

If you'd actually bothered to read the thread, you'd know there was a very good reason for that.

Processed food is safe because it's the same every single time you eat it. To use the example in the OP, a bag of Quavers is the same every single time you eat it - no matter which shop you buy it from or what time of year.

Whereas red peppers can be under-ripe and bitter. They can be a bit over-ripe and soft. They might have seeds attached or some of the pith attached. All of which change the texture and flavour and can turn something from "tolerable" to "absolutely no way".