To think just don’t offer them beige food?

[Ashlll]

Or am I spectacularly uneducated here? My sister has a 3 year old who apparently will only eat beige food and mostly crisps. She says it’s a sensory thing and we have to respect it when around him, for example when I took him and dd out last week I had to give him quavers rather than the snacks I had got for dd… which then made dd want quavers too! Same with water, he won’t drink it and it has to be juice.

I am not massively strict but did say to dsis just don’t buy these things then he won’t know he can ask for them… she says he just won’t eat or drink. I think this is ridiculous (I’ve not said this to her). AIBU?!?

Yes, it's ignorance really, that they think they made that difference rather than it being the child. Like the parents who say their child sleeps through the night at 3 months because they did XYZ. (I had one who slept through at 6 weeks, and 1 who was still every 2 hours at 20 months - identical bedtime routines)

Dd1 was a brilliant eater. Ate anything and everything in quantity. We did meals for her blended down from 4 months and she ate all varieties. Then she had pneumonia aged 8yo and for the next 4 years ate less and less things. At one point I think there were about 6 things she'd eat. She eats a lot better now she's an adult, but if she can't eat something she really can't.

Dd2 was a terrible eater. Ate nothing except tinned sweetcorn consistently. Totally refused all the stuff we offered that dd1 had eaten. As an adult she's got things she doesn't eat but not too bad.

Both of those two will choose not to eat rather than eat something they don't like.

Ds ate anything savoury. At one point we offered him a choice between a carrot or chocolate and he chose chocolate. He's 17yo now and might well choose the same. He's not very keen on meat, and isn't bothered by pudding, but will eat most things.
He will eat something he's not keen if that's the only thing available.

The only thing we did differently in weaning was by the time ds came along, time for weaning had changed from 4 months to 6 months, so he weaned on things like toast and finger foods rather than purees.

I’ve twice indicated that if you read the thread your questions will be answered. You’re not interested in hearing though, you just want to say inflammatory rubbish and try to make parents feel bad. You just make yourself look silly. Crack on I guess if that’s what makes you feel good about yourself. How sad.

@Ashlll I used to think exactly like you. For context I have 3 kids all close in age. 12,10 and 9. First child ate everything (and still does!) fruit, veggie, sushi, you name it there is no food he won’t eat and/or try. Second child raised the same way but she got to 12 months and all of the sudden she stopped eating and drinking. I was so upset and distressed about it all. I tried all the methods available not letting her leave the table until she finished, letting her leave the table but when she was hungry offering her the same food, sending her to bed without food (not when she was 1 mind you when she was older) and none of it worked. I was in tears the whole time, she was as well. I had her referred and nothing was told there were kids with stricter diets than mine. She would only eat pizza, chicken nuggets, yougurts and potato waffles. Very little. Today she is a bit better she will have some pasta, rice, chicken, pork, burgers.. but it has been years in the making. She would not even put it in her mouth to try. My youngest is a bit better but not like my first. Parenting is not easy and getting them to eat can for some parents be a real struggle so be kind.

Can you expand please?

You surely aren’t suggesting that we can compare like for like when one has access to free healthcare and the other doesnt? Diet isn’t the only significant variable?

Pasta on its' own (as in plain pasta with no butter or sauce) isn't particularly healthy or nutritious if that's all that a child will eat on a long-term basis, though.

Yes, it's better than Quavers but most parents want their child to eat more than plain pasta for weeks on end, so will try and add absolutely anything else into their diet just to try and get them to eat something new.

But quavers has no benefit does it?

Thanks that’s a really informative answer.

It’s hard to imagine having that. But the thing you describe about cardboard and gagging and sickness was how I was when I was pregnant with many foods. So that sounds like an absolute nightmare dealing with that all the time!

That also makes sense with brands being reliable and knowing what you’re getting. And being a super taster.

Lots to think about there. Do you ever just think god Id love to eat that? Or does even the sight of stuff not seem appealing?

I think the thing is to never have offered them in the first place so child doesn’t know any better. I was very no sugar with my eldest. His face when he had ice cream for the first time was a picture because he’d never had anything sweet apart from things like carrots and apples that are naturally sweet.

We have tried "forcing" our fussy eaters to eat to eat non-beige (plus broccoli). They'd rather go to bed hungry. And then their blood sugar goes through the floor and they wake up feeling ill, to the point they throw up.

My nephew had a severe case of hand, foot and mouth aged 5 and was unable to eat for a couple of weeks. 3 years later he pretty much survives on chips as can't get over the memory of that pain.

FWIW I was raised by parents who were very into healthy eating. Meals from scratch, lots of fresh and nutritious ingredients and no junk food in sight.

I still had issues with food and still refused meals. It turns out I have autism but I wasn't diagnosed until I was 36 years old. I can still remember my dad standing over me and telling me to eat my cooked spinach - I wasn't allowed to get down from the table until I did. Eventually, I put it in my mouth, tried to swallow, and promptly gagged and threw it up all over his feet.

I also remember going to Australia and not liking the unfamiliar brands of food so I lived of white bread and vegemite for breakfast and lunch, and white rice with tomato ketchup for dinner - for three weeks.

Same.

I am a very fussy eater (I'm where DC gets their autism from) and it's not just that I won't eat certain foods, the foods I do eat have to be cooked/prepared a specific way.

As an example, I hate cheese. Absolutely loath it. I hate the smell, the texture, the taste. The few times I've tried to make myself like it, I can chew it (and it's disgusting) but I cannot bring myself to swallow it as it makes me retch and I'm repulsed by the thought of it being in my stomach. However, melt some grated (mild) cheddar into some beans or stick some parmesan on top of my spag bol and I'll happily eat it.

It does when you need your child to eat and gain weight, yes.

as a starting point I’m assuming you are making a judgment and generalising re starving children and Africa. But if we take those communities they’re vastly different. Different pressures, expectations etc. we didn’t have issues like this 200 years ago but we also had children dying and being institutionalised. Apples and oranges.

Same @MugsyBalonz - I'm actually much more adventurous at home where I'm in control, but out in public there are so many things I won't touch as I'm so scared of gagging or vomiting.

It does though. It’s a different texture. It’s a new flavour. Different food. When a child will only eat 3 things from the same food group / same texture you start food chaining and that does often include the introduction of crisps and if your child accepts them it’s a win.

There are other 'beige' foods that aren't chicken nuggets!! Other than fish fingers, we didn't have access to processed food in the 60s/70s!

That's not the thing though. But thanks.

If the child had only been offered "real" food he might still be fussy, but he wouldn't be demanding beige food as he wouldnt know what it is. What do people think happened in the days before UPFs and KFC?

And here I am with a younger - diagnosed autistic sister - who only ate mashed potato until she was 9…

Yes one bad experience can put me off a whole food type for ages. I used to love Aldi ham salad sandwiches and once bit into one and there was a massive lump of gristle. I’m close to retching now just typing this. I haven’t eaten ham since, turns my stomach.

define beige food please.

Well we probably did have these issues 200 years ago but I'm guessing that a good percentage of children with these difficulties died..... My twenty year old DD with ARFID grew up healthy thanks to the wonders of science (daily bottles of Fortini meal supplement) and a fantastic NHS dietitian who I will always be very thankful for.

Exactly!

Same. I used to love battered fish, until I once tried some and it was slimy and I had to run to the toilet to vomit. Haven't touched it since.

Children starved. Sometimes to death or died from another illness because they were weak.