Cooking related terms that make you squirm (title edited by MNHQ at request of OP)

[Words]

Sides. No. It is side dishes. See also mains (Shudder)

I made lamb at Easter. No, you cooked it.

Cooked to your liking. Well they woudn't deliberately cook it otherwise if they wanted to stay in business...

Ooh yes, these kind of places always cost 9 1/2 per plate and they recommend you order 4 small plates each, then you realise you’ve paid £40 for chicken, chips and some vegetables.

Slightly off topic, but I once saw a bottle of water at a conférence with a notice explaining it was vegan....

'Trout,miso, rhubarb'

Oh god all of these

This thread is so funny

@Words we’ve got a ‘trout, miso, rhubarb ‘ restaurant here in Bath - as you say it’s stupid money and I just know I’m going to be starving on coming out - and im
on mounjaro!!

www.google.com/search?q=Pretentious%20menus

This menu will set everyone's teeth on edge.

Hope the link works!

Hurray! You are my new favourite pee-ta expert! Taking over from... My previous favourite...
Yeah. That one 🤔

Happy travels 🌎

Couldn't agree more. I like Nigel Slaters recipes generally but when he talks about supper and goes to great lengths to show how uber-casual he is about everything it's very annoying. "Add shallots, or not, as you will." Aggggh.

Umami

a phrase much loved of Ben Ebbrell from SortedFood

He says use a dishcloth not oven mitts. I always burn myself whatever I try
In our house we have a phrase "Ebbers you lying bastard" whether it's dishcloths or umami

I'm also putting Mouthful out for review

Ah but Nigel Slater takes such great care with his food , he spoons things onto the plate so delicately . Not like Jamie Oliver who I imagine lobbing mashed potato from across the table .

"I'll just Nigel this onto the plates"

I'd much rather have that than the ones who say passive-aggressively, 'You can also use [insert 'inferior'/cheaper ingredient] if that's all you have to hand' or in other words 'if you don't, like me, live near a selection of wonderful little delis/fishmongers/greengrocers and possess the Coutts gold account necessary to shop at them'.

Oh I love.Nigel Slater I know he's irritating with his little packets and what not but he Is so soothing.

Prep. Fine in a commercial kitchen but no, you haven't 'prepped lunch', you've heated up a can of soup.
Food being described as divine, lush, exquisite, non etc.
Pudding when it isn't an actual pudding.

Who? Expose them!

i’ve just remembered getting what I believe they now call ‘the ick’ about a man because he invited me to ‘din dins’ 😬

Yeah I am totally here for Nigel’s anecdotes about picking up a crate of boysenberries at the market on a whim and turning them into a casual little trifle using rich yellow cream and some leftover lemon drizzle sponge from Tuesday’s teatime

Strong agree. I actually adore Nigella Lawson but the way she handles her food is sometimes truly alarming. And she doesn’t scrape the bowl!!!!

Gary Rhodes (rip) was very deft and precise. I liked watching him cooking. Oh yes, I hate 'a cheffy thing' or 'being cheffy', just naff off ffs.

Anything that goes into detail on body parts etc eg "cheek of beef" "suckling pig" "cod cheeks" "belly pork" it is enough to make me go for the vegetarian option 🤢

He had an entire "leftover" wheel of brie once too. All wrapped in artisanal brown paper and string 🙄

To be eaten with the mysterious 'we' ('We ate this with torn-off hunks of fresh doughy white baguette'/'We sliced peaches into this as we went').
I have all kinds of images in my head of who's round Nigel Slater's kitchen table

I really hate "hot buttered toast".

It's tautological for a start, as who would want to eat their toast dry and cold? And it's also twee. Bleurgh.

I mean it beats jamie oliver "whacking it on a plate" also JO calls food gnarly Nigel would never call food Gnarly 😀

I am obsessed with Nigel’s ‘we’! (Don’t read it aloud, sounds wrong). Like an enigmatic, cosy version of Giles Coren’s ‘random flopsy’ of pre-Esther yesteryear.

‘We’ weren’t hungry wheh the Brie was brought out I guess. Perhaps we’d gorged ourselves on one of Nigel’s richer sausage and chorizo dishes and had no room for cheese 😂