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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be tired of the jealousy towards people who WFH?

362 replies

WFHFan · 24/04/2025 09:12

No one can post a thread about it without someone chiming in threatening if their job can done from home then it could be given to someone in another country or AI could take it.

Other people saying companies want everyone back in the office. Yes some do. Mine doesn't. They do not have the space anymore. Neither will my job go to someone in another country because of expertise and it does involve some critical face to face work. AI can't do it either.

Then some people getting offended saying if someone is WFH they shouldn't do anything else but work non stop. I can work and I do chores, shopping, school pick up, errands. It does not affect the standard or quantity of my work. I don't doubt it does affect some people's work.

I have won two awards for performance already.

OP posts:
Keirawr · 24/04/2025 13:47

Have you won any awards OP?

WFHFan · 24/04/2025 13:50

Keirawr · 24/04/2025 13:47

Have you won any awards OP?

Yep - see my OP.

How about you?

OP posts:
IndigoViolent · 24/04/2025 13:58

BatchCookBabe · 24/04/2025 13:25

Nonsense. 😆

People do washing, prep for dinner, walking the dog, have haircuts, do housework, make private phone calls, and all manner of shit when 'working' from home (and some even do also childcare/have their kids at home, when they are 'working.')

NO-ONE can do this if they are in the workplace, and some WFH people have proven again and again that they are lazy and unproductive at home, and have admitted they swing the lead half the time they're meant to be 'working' by doing all this extra shit. And this is why they are complaining about being asked to go back into the office, because 'wah wah wah, I won't be able to do it anymore. waaaaaaaaaahhhh!' 😖😢 THIS is why bosses want them back.

Don't even TRY to pretend that the things people do in the office environment - like going to the loo, or chatting to another colleague is anything like the things people who work from home do. They take the piss. (Not all but many!)

Your answer is ludicrous.

Edited

I think you’re the ludicrous one.

Of course no one is trying to suggest that people could just as easily be putting a wash on or peeling potatoes if they were in the office. It isn’t physically possible. But the point about how people use the time is perfectly valid.

A poster on the first page described it perfectly when she said being in the office involves “busy work”. The jobs you do to look busy when it’s quiet - deleting old emails, clearing out your desk drawers, rereading company policies etc.. It wouldn’t matter if you didn’t do any of it - and at home, you don’t have to for appearances sake. If I’m not busy, why wouldn’t I just stick the washing machine on? It doesn’t stop me getting my work done, because if I’m busy, I simply don’t do it. There is zero incentive for me to “skive”, because the work has to go somewhere - it would soon be spotted if I wasn’t pulling my weight. I’d only be making life hard for myself.

IndigoViolent · 24/04/2025 14:06

Gandalfatemyhamster · 24/04/2025 13:04

@IndigoViolentbut the problem is that less nurses/ doctors/ teachers/ T.A’s is that it’s everyone’s problem. My heart sinks when my daughter’s T.A resigns, it happens at least every six months and then we have two months of her being really unsettled, unhappy to go to school.
Ideally I don’t think the key is making WFH less attractive but making those positions more appealing. But how? Local authorities have no money, the NHS has no money, demean on services is increasing, acuity is more severe. Mental health now is nothing like it was twenty years ago, assaults are now common. Being filmed is now common.
It is something we do for the love of it, but there comes a point where we think why? Especially after you have children, and all the other parents have more money, free time, look less stressed, don’t miss any plays, sports days. We have to all do what’s best for our families.

I understand all that - but again, artificially making other jobs less appealing is not the way to handle it. Just like forcing people back to the office to keep cafes and bars in traditional business areas going is false economy.

And it still doesn’t address the fact that an awful lot of people can’t just say “Ooh, I know - I’ll take a WFH job instead”. They need the right skill set and experience.

FedupofArsenalgame · 24/04/2025 14:08

Bluebellwood129 · 24/04/2025 09:29

I don't understand why people would be jealous - if they want a WFH job, they could go and get one. I've worked from home for over twenty years and never experienced negative attitudes.

True I personally couldn't think of anything bloody worse than WFH. My home is a place to relax not a workplace

CanYouTurnItDown · 24/04/2025 14:09

Ablondiebutagoody · 24/04/2025 09:27

I dunno. To me it feels more like a chip on the shoulder of wfh people because office people think they are lazy skivers.

I don’t think I understand this

Fizbosshoes · 24/04/2025 14:16

WFHFan · 24/04/2025 13:46

It is not that hard to understand. It depends on the job and the workflow. It wouldn't make any sense for my employer to make my job part time as the workload varies so much.

When I was in the office full time, there were quiet periods then too. Obviously I had to stay there for set hours but I would get all my life admin done.

But the posters I'm talking about aren't saying they're doing 2-3 hours work a day because work ebbs and flows eg this is a quiet period but they work 10 hours a day during a busy period. (Of course I understand this, my own industry has busy and less busy periods - none as quiet as 2 hours a day unfortunately)
They are saying they are regularly working 2-3 hours a day because they are super efficient when WFH
....in which case I'd think it wasn't actually a ft job....

LuckyMoonstone · 24/04/2025 14:21

@Fizbosshoes but it’s a full time job because you need to be available and ready during business hours.
So you might have a few quiet hours doing nothing all afternoon, but if someone urgently needs you at half past 4 then you need to be there! Whether that’s in person or phone/email.
You can’t just do your work in a couple of hours and finish for the day, and leave people hanging.

fantastiq · 24/04/2025 14:27

So you work from home but do school drop offs, chores and exercise... then you wonder why people don't think your working hard. You just answered your own bloody q!

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 24/04/2025 14:28

Fizbosshoes · 24/04/2025 14:16

But the posters I'm talking about aren't saying they're doing 2-3 hours work a day because work ebbs and flows eg this is a quiet period but they work 10 hours a day during a busy period. (Of course I understand this, my own industry has busy and less busy periods - none as quiet as 2 hours a day unfortunately)
They are saying they are regularly working 2-3 hours a day because they are super efficient when WFH
....in which case I'd think it wasn't actually a ft job....

I think that's the kind of person who gets easily distracted when around other people.

When I used to work in an operational role, we were measured on numbers. My numbers in the office were usually double the majority of the rest of the team, because I can work quickly to a high quality. They increased slightly when we started WFH in COVID but not to the same scale of increase of other diligent people now they weren't chatting half the day (I could work and talk, not everyone can and by this point I could also do the job in my sleep).

If you gave me the same workload (volume wise, if measured on numbers( as some of the "slower" people, it'd take me 2-3 hours compared to their 7, in the same conditions. But WFH, the diligent "slower" people would do more work in the day, whereas the less diligent "slower" people would do the same across the same time period despite less distractions. I always had a higher workload cos that's what I could get through.

I'm not measured on numbers now, it's output. So there are some days where I might be done in a couple of hours if it's the start of a project, and others aren't available or I'm waiting on work being done. But mostly I'm busy all day.

The people who say they're done in 2-3 hours when WFH are the less diligent, slower people. They have less distractions but aren't willing to take on more than they did with the distractions. And they give WFH a bad name.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 24/04/2025 14:31

fantastiq · 24/04/2025 14:27

So you work from home but do school drop offs, chores and exercise... then you wonder why people don't think your working hard. You just answered your own bloody q!

Depends on the job though. I manage my own time, and I don't have customer/client calls. So if I "disappear" at 330 to do a pick up, that's fine, because I can make up 30 mins by working through lunch or logging on later. I am allowed to be flexible.

It's different if you're supposed to be customer/client facing and aren't available to do that work because you're doing drop off/pick up or popping to the gym.

WFHFan · 24/04/2025 14:44

User79853257976 · 24/04/2025 13:34

As long as you admit that you have privileges that others don’t and that you have it easier, it’s fine. Some jobs can’t physically be done from home and we trained before wfh was widespread. Yes I’m jealous of my friends who have all this flexibility and their homes run like clockwork.

My home now runs like clockwork because I have the time to shop, cook and clean. It used to cut into my evening when in the office full time. It has made for a much happier family and also workforce. Everyone in my department enjoys hybrid working and it has brought a lot of value to their lives.

It is something I appreciate. It only happened because of covid.

OP posts:
ACynicalDad · 24/04/2025 14:56

WFH suits people with young kids, particularly primary age. I am hugely fortunate that WFH works at the stage of building out my org. We have mainly mums at the moment who are mid-career and on decent money. The next stage will be building out our teams with early career (probably younger) people who enjoy the social interaction and learn from being together, so we will have to manage the transition to taking on an office. For me my youngest has three years left in primary and I think we will probably align quite closely. I expect legacy contracts will stay WFH, with new ones being hybrid. Today I have walked the dog and put out the washing, but I'll probably work once the kids are in bed too, so all works well. I look forward to the separation between work and home!

Gandalfatemyhamster · 24/04/2025 15:04

@ACynicalDadyou can see how this will play out as terrible for feminism though.
Men and women working mostly in office to build their careers. Women take time out to have babies and then WFH due to flexibility. Men stay visible in the office and get promoted.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 24/04/2025 15:09

Gandalfatemyhamster · 24/04/2025 15:04

@ACynicalDadyou can see how this will play out as terrible for feminism though.
Men and women working mostly in office to build their careers. Women take time out to have babies and then WFH due to flexibility. Men stay visible in the office and get promoted.

I go to the office once a week. There's often no one "important" enough in the office to be visible to because they're also working from home most of the week.

Wouldn't matter if I was male or female. We're as visible as each other in that scenario.

Praying4Peace · 24/04/2025 15:12

WFHFan · 24/04/2025 09:12

No one can post a thread about it without someone chiming in threatening if their job can done from home then it could be given to someone in another country or AI could take it.

Other people saying companies want everyone back in the office. Yes some do. Mine doesn't. They do not have the space anymore. Neither will my job go to someone in another country because of expertise and it does involve some critical face to face work. AI can't do it either.

Then some people getting offended saying if someone is WFH they shouldn't do anything else but work non stop. I can work and I do chores, shopping, school pick up, errands. It does not affect the standard or quantity of my work. I don't doubt it does affect some people's work.

I have won two awards for performance already.

You have made the point that you are WFH whilst doing school runs, chores etc..
Are you working your contracted hours irrespective of your performance awards?

WFHFan · 24/04/2025 15:12

Gandalfatemyhamster · 24/04/2025 15:04

@ACynicalDadyou can see how this will play out as terrible for feminism though.
Men and women working mostly in office to build their careers. Women take time out to have babies and then WFH due to flexibility. Men stay visible in the office and get promoted.

https://www.hrmagazine.co.uk/content/news/hybrid-working-could-drive-gender-promotion-gap/

Hybrid working could drive gender promotion gap - HR Magazine

Male tendency to prioritise the office over family time could widen gendered gaps in the workforce, according to professor of organisational psychology and health at University of Manchester Cary Cooper.

https://www.hrmagazine.co.uk/content/news/hybrid-working-could-drive-gender-promotion-gap

OP posts:
WFHFan · 24/04/2025 15:15

Praying4Peace · 24/04/2025 15:12

You have made the point that you are WFH whilst doing school runs, chores etc..
Are you working your contracted hours irrespective of your performance awards?

There is not a consistent workflow all the time. Sometimes I work more, sometimes I work less. It is the nature of the work. It ebbs and flows. I am often waiting for partner organisations to get back to me which leaves gaps so time to do school runs, chores, shopping, taking books back to the library etc

OP posts:
ChocolatesAndRainbows · 24/04/2025 15:18

It's not jealousy it's just annoying how everyone assumes you can drop everything and be in for deliveries and appointments because you might be working from home.

Also my tax pounds pay for civil servants to be working in an office not sitting in thr comfort and convenience of their own home while ppl without that luxury slog into work everyday.

ACynicalDad · 24/04/2025 15:20

Gandalfatemyhamster · 24/04/2025 15:04

@ACynicalDadyou can see how this will play out as terrible for feminism though.
Men and women working mostly in office to build their careers. Women take time out to have babies and then WFH due to flexibility. Men stay visible in the office and get promoted.

For the last five years, my wife has been in the office and I've been the one at home popping out at 3.15 to get the kids. Some of it is down to couples agreeing between themselves how to run their lives. I know the default, but I also understand that some people prioritise more than their careers. One of my team members who got promoted recently is now in a job with some prospects for the first time since her child was born with disabilities and her husband left. We do need a range of opportunities for different people's aspirations and priorities, she couldn't do this job from an office.

Kilroyonly · 24/04/2025 15:26

I think the general consensus is that anyone who works from home isn’t actually working & people don’t like that you are paid to be in your own home. I work in adult education & 3 days of 5 I’m in the college the other days I’m at home doing paperwork. It genuinely makes more sense than driving into work. But yes I do think it comes from jealousy but not because work requires a work place but that we have the freedom to dictate our own time

nottheplan · 24/04/2025 15:27

ChocolatesAndRainbows · 24/04/2025 15:18

It's not jealousy it's just annoying how everyone assumes you can drop everything and be in for deliveries and appointments because you might be working from home.

Also my tax pounds pay for civil servants to be working in an office not sitting in thr comfort and convenience of their own home while ppl without that luxury slog into work everyday.

Honestly that is a crazy remark. What does it matter to you where they work once the work is being done? Ridiculous point of view! (I'm not a civil servant BTW!)

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 24/04/2025 15:27

ChocolatesAndRainbows · 24/04/2025 15:18

It's not jealousy it's just annoying how everyone assumes you can drop everything and be in for deliveries and appointments because you might be working from home.

Also my tax pounds pay for civil servants to be working in an office not sitting in thr comfort and convenience of their own home while ppl without that luxury slog into work everyday.

My taxes pay for civil servants to do their jobs. Doesn't matter to me if they're sat in an office or behind their desks at home.

I'd much rather that my taxes were put towards salaries for nurses, firefighters, extra police, facilities and services in the NHS etc than towards paying rents on office spaces.

Kitchensnails · 24/04/2025 15:37

ChocolatesAndRainbows · 24/04/2025 15:18

It's not jealousy it's just annoying how everyone assumes you can drop everything and be in for deliveries and appointments because you might be working from home.

Also my tax pounds pay for civil servants to be working in an office not sitting in thr comfort and convenience of their own home while ppl without that luxury slog into work everyday.

Someone's been spending too long on X!

CosyLemur · 24/04/2025 15:37

TheAmusedQuail · 24/04/2025 09:44

Why can't an EHCP application be done remotely @Gandalfatemyhamster ? What is there about it that requires you to be behind a desk in an office, rather than behind a desk, at home?

EHCP's require visits to see the child in a school/nursery/home school/hospital setting. Depending on the need it could require seeing various therapies in progress. It's not just form filling.

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