Male School staff inappropriate behaviour towards DD

[heatherwithapee]

DD is 14 (year 10). It has come to light that over the last few weeks a support worker at school (who she has been having one-to-one sessions with) has started behaving ‘weirdly’ towards her (her words).
She’s disclosed that he’s asked for her phone number, suggested they meet outside of school, asked to see photos of her doing her hobby, told her she’s ’his favourite pupil’ etc.

It’s been reported to school but realistically what can I expect to happen next? I understand that it’s her word against his (of course I believe her but appreciate that the school need to look after their staff especially when evidence may be difficult to obtain) but what’s the deal with safeguarding? She’s very worried about seeing him around school now that she’s reported him.

AIBU to think that he should be suspended pending investigation?

The guidelines tell you not to engineer a situation where you are alone with a student unnecessarily. So, for example, I do a lot of 1:1 work with students, so I use a semi private room that gets a lot of foot traffic, or a small office with the door closed, but the door is glazed and there's a large window onto the corridor. Both areas are on camera. Same is true of the classrooms; only the staff room in my school is difficult to see into. Most schools are designed to not have secret nooks and crannies. You're not penalised if a student comes to find you (although the duty person responsible for making sure students aren't wandering around unsupervised might be). If you are alone with a student for a good reason, it's a reason other people will usually know about and there's always a good chance of people interrupting you if people know where you are. Which they should.

Think you might have mistaken me for someone else.

Right but the person I was replying to said that if you follow procedures, you can't be accused of anything which per my example simply isn't true as you cannot predict and prevent any situation where you might encounter a solitary student unless each teacher is allocated a security guard who accompanies them for the whole school day to act as a neutral overseeing presence.

I'm not a teacher but this attitude of if you get accused of something then it's your own fault is really sucky to put it politely.

No one on this thread knows whether the OP's kid is making it up or whether the TA has been acting inappropriately and can only speculate but attitudes that one should assume guilt (not from you but other posts) are just another reason why schools fail to keep staff as false accusations follow you around even after they've been proved to be malicious as who wants to do a job where annoying a child by asking them to turn their phone off during a lesson can end up with you in jail as a sex offender because they didn't like being 'disrespected'. It's not something you can just forget about.

There's a difference between being accused by a student of doing something ugly, and being accused by SLT of not following proper safeguarding procedures. I've been accused by a troubled student of physically assaulting them; it totally wasn't a big deal because I had followed procedures. The entire time I was supposed to be assaulting them, I was on camera and within the eyeline of loads of other staff members. The student did not realise this. On the other hand, if I am on break duty at lunch and I let little Susie leave the canteen area she's supposed to be in, to go find an adult eating in private, I'd be up shit creek. If I covered up the windows in my classroom with posters because I don't know squat about safeguarding, that's also a much more serious issue. Student accusations are treated with a pinch of salt, staff fuck ups are not.

I think that entirely depends on the school. I think malicious allegations are becoming more common now sadly - probably goes hand in hand with the general decline in behaviour. My friend’s DD was involved in making malicious allegations a few years ago - it was horrendous and thankfully they didn’t suspend the teacher involved.

To the OP, your DD definitely needs to be protected from this man while these allegations are investigated. I hope she’s being well supported at school.

Why?
What was in the post that made you say that?

I know I shouldn’t read these threads. But fuck it’s depressing.

If a child discloses abuse or worrying behaviour in any other context - safeguarding 101 says it’s taken seriously and investigated.

Unless it’s in a school - where instead it’s the opposite and all kids are not to be believed, any disclosure is to be ‘taken with a pinch of salt’ because everyone knows kids are lying little shits who are constantly making up false lies against their poor teachers. It’s like an ‘anti safeguarding’ attitude on here in threads like this - every time.

I reckon a school is the ideal place for a predator to hide in plain site - after all, all their colleagues will instinctively rally around and protect them from the malicious lying kids. And if you challenge it well they’ll just all threaten to quit in solidarity.

It’s where my rapist was able to hide, and get away with it.

But I was just a malicious lying 12 year old in the eyes of most on this thread - so what do I know.

I wondered this too

Completely agree.

If false allegations were so common, this guy and all his colleagues would just treat his suspension while a full investigation takes place as a box-ticking exercise until he's back at work right? It's just one of those things that has to happen, like when there's an unattended package they have to clear the platfom.

No, of course they won't. Because they're rare.

It's the absolute minimum to ensure that a child isn't further victimised by having to face the man they have had the courage to report, as we constantly tell them they should do.

Your assumption that the accusation must be true.

Thank God I no longer have to work with people like you. See? Works both ways.

Of course you can be accused but it will be cleared up by lunchtime, because it’s completely obvious that you couldn’t possibly have done anything.

Stop, no. Ensure that false allegations are dismissed within about 30 seconds, yes.

Not really.
I have a valid reason to be concerned about the poster's ability to deal with accusations impartiality.

@heatherwithapee why are the school pairing male staff with female pupils for one to ones. Ridiculous.

I have worked with people like you, who seem to believe that it couldn’t happen in your school, or it couldn’t be nice Mr Brown your friend in the Drama department. It’s not up to you to decide: ALL allegations must be investigated and if you’ve taken the sensible steps to protect yourself, you’ll be fine. Some kids lie. Many don’t. In 20 years I have never been falsely accused because I have always followed the rules.

It can be very beneficial, especially for girls who don't have a positive male figure at home.

That’s concerning.

False accusations can happen in any school.

By definition you can't do anything about being falsely accused. It's about luck not what you've done.
One of the staff members at our DDs secondary gets called a pedo/creep by the DC, when I've asked her and her friends why they've all just shrugged and said the boys say he is and that he tries to be cool by making maths jokes and has a weird voice.
From when I've met him at parents evening he seems quite shy and geeky but very dedicated to teaching. Doesn't seem to be any wrongdoing that I can pick up on or the DC can describe but there's still that being said about him.

@FloatingSquirrel don't give me that.

You might not like it, but it's true.

@FloatingSquirrel its a very lovely thought you’ve had there, but sadly it’s very naive. It is asking for trouble. It leaves the male member of staff very vulnerable to false accusation, or worse, exposes the female child to potential risk. Don’t you think it would be common sense, when you weigh up benefit vs risk, just to not bother? It’s common sense.