to think working 5am-12pm and 2pm-9pm shifts are better than working 8:30am-5pm?

[smalldebate]

DH currently works a rotating weekly shift pattern of 5am-12pm and 2pm-9pm with a decent salary. He has just been offered a job that’s 8:30am-5pm, which will then be longer from rush hour traffic. We have our first baby on the way and I personally think having him around all morning/afternoon is much better, but he wants to have a set schedule long term and thinks it will be better overall. I think he’s mad to take the job, it’s also less pay as he doesn’t get a shift bonus.

AIBU to think what he has currently is much better?

I think you’re right. I work long days, 7-19:30 but only 3/4 days a week and love the flexibility it gives me with my days off.

No, I'd go for the normal hours. It'll be far better when the baby is in childcare or school for one thing.

It's much better for you.

It's not much better for him. Clearly. That's why he wants to change it.

I wouldn't want to work those hours.

It's also much easier to plan childcare around set hours so bear that in mind.

I think the 8.30 to 5.30 will be better once dc is at school. Means he'll be able to spend time with kid after school day.

It's up to him really - I can see the benefits of current arrangement from your side when baby arrives, but honestly set hours might be easier in other ways too.

It’s not good for health doing shifts and I can see why he wants a more stable pattern. Current set up might benefit you, but you need to listen to what he wants too.

Split shifts are horrendous. Those hours are pretty much working 5am-9pm with a long lunch break. And double the journeys will eat into his time just like traffic would.

I think generally, the person working the shifts gets to decide what feels doable, and I do see why he might want set hours and not getting up at 5. But, with a newborn, his current shifts do sound quite good, so I see your point too.

How was he envisaging it working in his new job, once the baby was there? Was he thinking he'd get up for, say, the 3-4am bit of the night and blend that in to his 8.30? Or was he thinking he'd have the baby from 5-1am or so, from when he gets home? It might help for him to think in those terms (of how you split the night with a newborn), so he can get his mind around it.

Swapping from early to late regularly just messes with your body clock. I imagine he's up around 4am on the days he starts at 5 if not earlier. Then switching back to coming home and to bed after 10pm must be difficult. Adding a baby into the mix will make things far harder for everyone. I think working the same shift pattern each week is much easier all round.

I’ve worked nearly all shift patterns and regular hours are so much easier, easier to plan, easier to get good rest etc. I understand it would be nice to have him around when you’re home with the baby, but you’ve got to think long term and his wellbeing is going to be crucial.

His current hours are 7 but new ones 8.5 - with commute that is quite a difference to his day - he will be more tired. Has he considered this, as well as regularity? Don't underestimate the horribleness of a rush hour commute either - depending obviously how far away he works.
I think I'm an outlier in enjoying shift work, and whilst some childcare may be more problematic (or not as at least one school run is easily accommodated down the line) actually having time when many are at work is beneficial as well - all appointments for example, including kids' ones.
I do like having time to do stuff, not just kids, and feel work doesn't rule my life if it's less regular hours - 9-5 to me just takes the whole day up and the week. However, I recognise many feel happier with regular hours, and there are benefits to this routine.
I had to change to regular days in one job and most of the team were happy - later on some actually missed the flexibility and day time freedom. So he may think it sounds good now but could miss it in future.
Obviously, I'm biased with my own preferences here but I'd definitely think about the apparent extra working hours plus commute.

Not for me, it wouldn't be, split shifts are horrendous, you can do bugger all in between, starting at 5 am is horrible, going to work twice a day is horrible, no thanks.

You are being really selfish and unfair to pressure him to stay in his current job because it suits you better.

I agree with you OP -I work shifts and while it can be tiring it’s lovely to have time off in the day and is really handy for kids stuff. It also breaks the week up more and is less monotonous, plus commuting much easier.

I didn't mind doing shifts when I was younger and was quite partial to a wee backshift but I don't think I would like it so much as a parent to a young child.

But he does need to consider what will work for the family as a whole and while it's his decision, it doesn't mean he needs to make it unilaterally.

For him helping with the baby the shifts are better but for him as a person I think the day time hours are better; when you do shifts like that your evenings are either taken up with work or you’re exhausted both of which is crap. That’s why he gets shift allowance, because it’s recognised it’s rubbish
Also if you need to juggle pick up and drop offs with childcare in the future set hours will be easier

He says he finds the constant swapping the issue. He gets up at 3:30am for the earlier shift and then obviously isn’t going to bed until at least midnight on the later one, so he ends up having to usually pull an all nighter on the Monday or just have a small nap because he can’t shift his sleep in time. I admit that does sound difficult but he is going to be having a much longer day with the 8:30-5, as someone else mentioned, and a newborn too. I just think for our family the shifts seem an absolute no brainer. With the commute, he’s going to end up barely being seen by our baby/child anyway, I was hoping it was just him with this mindset that the grass is greener and I can actually make him see most don’t think it is better!

Not necessarily. My DD and her husband have managed nearly 8 years without using childcare as they both work the opposite shifts When DGS was preschool age they saved thousands on childcare fees. He went to playgroup from 3 years old

He's not working split shifts

getting up at 330 am sounds utterly wretched tbh.

Is he doing both of these shifts in one day or different days? So one day he does 5am-12pm then another day he does 2pm-9pm?
If it’s both shifts in the same day then I understand why he’d want to change to more regular hours but if those shifts are on separate days then I think that’s the better option

Ah, I see. Thank you 👍🏻

It’s a week of 5am-12 and then the next week 2pm-9 on a constant rotation weekly

Having a newborn and a disruptive to your sleep shift pattern - no thank you!

They’re not split shifts. It’s a rotating schedule.

I'm reading a week doing one shift then the next week doing the other one and so on. The change over being a crunch time as it basically means a night's sleep is missed.
Good prep for a baby tbh😄