to think working 5am-12pm and 2pm-9pm shifts are better than working 8:30am-5pm?

[smalldebate]

DH currently works a rotating weekly shift pattern of 5am-12pm and 2pm-9pm with a decent salary. He has just been offered a job that’s 8:30am-5pm, which will then be longer from rush hour traffic. We have our first baby on the way and I personally think having him around all morning/afternoon is much better, but he wants to have a set schedule long term and thinks it will be better overall. I think he’s mad to take the job, it’s also less pay as he doesn’t get a shift bonus.

AIBU to think what he has currently is much better?

Just saw your update. I think I’d prefer the shifts as it allows more family time and would be easier for school pick ups in the future if you were to go back to work.
the one day with the shift changeover is going to suck but is doable but is only 8 hours between shifts, is he not supposed to have a minimum 12 hours between shifts?

When the baby is in nursery, you have to pick specific mornings or afternoons that will be their regular slot, so having him around all afternoon one week could save the childcare - but the next week he isn't around at all.

If it's the changing that he doesn't like, then could he find someone to agree swaps with so one does all 5-12 and the other only 2-9? Or ask his HR team if its possible.

So what would your work hours be. If you want him to share drop off and pick up school/nursery would you be able to all drop offs one week whilst he does pick up and then switch the next week?

Shift work is a pain in the arse though as its rarely just mornings or just evenings.
I absolutely dreaded being put on a late and then an early straight after.

Ive recently gone from shift work in care to set weekday hours, and it feels so civilised!
I feel like im getting more of a balance. I miss my old job, but not the shift patterns

Replied to wrong person - I think

Yes, I see that now. Thank you 👍🏻

I do care work but it’s day work and part time but not a set schedule. So admittedly us both being on shifts for childcare is a no but I plan to only be on bank work until baby is at school

How do you work that out? A 12 pm finish means he can do school pick ups. 2pm start means he can do school drop offs.

My husband tends to work earlier in the morning and I tend to work later, it has always worked best for us.

That said, if he is hating his job, it’s a bit crap of him to have to stay. I’d be suggesting he toughs it out for a while though because taking a pay cut when you’ve a baby in the way is a bad idea. And you’ll be the one who has to do all the childcare, all the time.

As someone who did shifts for 25 years I jumped at the chance of working 8.30-17.00. Never regretted it and my health massively improved.

There is no way I could ever do a job that started at 5am, so I think he should go for the 8.30-5.

your DH is the one working shifts - he's had long enough to know that they aren't great for his health - getting up at 3.30am?? It should be his decision.

Is the reduction in cash significant for your family finances.
I used to do a night shift cleaning a chicken slaughter house (someone has to do it 😬) years ago and some of the benefits like clear roads to work and back home, not spending money on lunch out and having day time for activities, you don't appreciate until you are back to day work. Also the premium pay was significant for me. It will be quite a big change all round.

When I had DS DH was on permanent nights for 2 yrs. It was awful - I had to be on duty with a newborn all night (and go to work myself after he was 4 months old after 3 hrs broken sleep!) When DH got put on normal 7.30 as to 5pm it was so much better for DH- hr had been in a haze for 2 years having maybe 6 hrs sleep every 24 hrs. The plus side of nights meant he got up around 3pm and was a very present parent til he went out to work just before 10pm

I did shifts for a while 8-4pm for a week then 2 til 10pm I hated it didn't drive and couldn't get into a routine 1 week I had to be up before 6am the next week I wasn't home until midnight. There's a reason shift allowances are paid cos it's not as easy as set normal hours

And there's no option to always do 2-9pm?

No, he can only do his current shifts unfortunately, he’s not able to stick to just one

Husband worked either 6-3 or 3-11 for years. Now works 8:30-5 and he is so much happier. I can see why you think he’d be better staying with shift work but if he’s wanting to change then he must feel it’s better for his wellbeing, add a new baby into the mix of being exhausted by shifts and it’s possible he’s going to break at some point.

Those shifts are tough. The extreme early starts & late nights.
It's tough physically & tough on someone's mental health.
I can see why he would prefer a longer but more 'normal' pattern.

How flexible is your job?
Can you switch to shift work if it's something that would suit you but not DH?

I used to work shifts like your DH and it was awful. Your sleep pattern and body clock end up all over the place.

O P was talking about currently., Not in 3 - 5 years time.

I’d prefer office hours too. I think it’s a much easier routine to keep to. You can find childcare. I do think people underestimate the importance of a good sleep routine. I like a solid 8 hours with a regular bedtime and it’s really hard to do if you are working shifts.

I don’t think he works both on the same day

Yes, I see that now. Thank you 👍🏻

Sounds familiar. DH and I did those shifts for years and it was brilliantly helpful while our DC were small. Pay was higher too. Ours were worse in that there were nights in the mix too.
We raised 3 DC on that pattern with me doing 0.7 of a FT roster. Zero childcare.
The unhelpful thing with your DH’s set up is that the days will differ. So you can’t set up a schedule of school or nursery runs without you having to flex around his rotating schedule.
In my situation we were allowed to freely swap so I swapped on to all the (much less popular) lates.
In your situation listen to what he’s saying about the effect on his health. It’s exhausting constantly messing with your body clock. I am sure I will die young after two decades of shift work.

Shift working is terrible for your health, so unless absolutely necessary I would avoid it, and I don't blame your husband for wanting a day on;y job. There are some studies that show costant shift working can knock up to 15 years off your life expectancy!! Also, alternating shifts are some of the worst for accident rates

https://fortune.com/2024/01/04/shift-workers-sleep-mental-health-depression-suicide-whoop/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-33638905