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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mad at my friend for planning her boys party on my b-day???

89 replies

emmabemmasmom · 17/05/2008 12:00

Well today is my b-day (wheyhey)

My DH just confessed to me that he spoke to my friend a few MONTHS ago and said he would like to take me away overnight on my b-day and asked for suggestions.

It just so happens that her little boy shares my b-day and he is 4 today...

So she went ahead and booked his party for today and when she told us my DH was like well ok it will probably be over about 2 or so, and that way we can still drive somewhere or atleast do dinner....but no!!! She made it for 4:30-7:30!!! Also, she knows my DD goes to bed at 7(not that she should plan it all around us)...so we would have to rush home and well...wouldn't be fun dealing with screaming DD.

I can't tell her I am not coming cause she is my friend and I wouldn't do that to her little boy.

So my DH canceled our plans and now I am just kinda peeved and he is upset cause he has nothing to give me so he feels bad.

I hope it doesn't sound as if I am being selfish and yes a 4 year old b-day is more important than mine (as it is really just another day) but still...I think maybe she could have been considerate...especially since my DH told her months ago.

Am I being a selfish cow?? OR can I be slightly mad at her??

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 17/05/2008 12:27

Seriously though - 4.30-7.30?

For a 4yo?

Original poster
emmabemmasmom · 17/05/2008 12:30

Seriously! 7:30 is like MY bedtime let alone my DD lol

Also, she asked everyone to come in fancy dress...that is what her little boy asked for...that and a disco so he is getting both. (how cute really )

So I had to pay for his gift, and then three fancy dress outfits. I just had to giggle over that one

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 17/05/2008 12:31

Mental.

hunkermunker · 17/05/2008 12:31

That is my most supportive post ever on MN.

Saturn74 · 17/05/2008 12:33
sallystrawberry · 17/05/2008 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
emmabemmasmom · 17/05/2008 12:36

I know you would think I was sitting her crying and thowing a tantrum the way some people are reacting to this...

Love throwing a bit of controversy out there

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 17/05/2008 12:36

I agree with Carmenere.

hunkermunker · 17/05/2008 12:37

It's a child's birthday party - you had plans, the mother of the child knew you had plans and nobody sane would expect you to cancel them in favour of a 4yo. Surely? She ought to have made the party earlier.

Nighbynight · 17/05/2008 12:42

yabu

you are an adult. arent you?
why do you need to celebrate your birthday, get over it.

Original poster
emmabemmasmom · 17/05/2008 12:42

I would love to have that attitude...

See she is my best friend...and I know it would really upset her if we didn't come, so I don't want to upset her. I know her DS could probably give a crap as long as he got his gift But I couldn't hurt my friend...and because I feel that way about her, I thought she would about me too...

Just to answer some questions:

My DH called her about a month ago to tell her he booked and where blah blah...and she was like oh wow cool great...and then she called me the next day and said she just got off the phone and booked the party...I was in the dark and was like ok cool will write it down...whatever.

Just today when I found out that she kidna went behind my DH's back that just kinda made me go...huh?

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 17/05/2008 12:43

She is your best friend?

Yet you are feeling this resentment towards her? (And yes, you are - or why start this thread?)

Maybe you aren't her best friend?

Carmenere · 17/05/2008 12:45

Um I would imagine that she wasn't being underhand but straight ie I don't think that she would be devastated if you couldn't make it because of a previous plan for your own birthday. Perhaps you think she would be more upset than she would be iyswim

hunkermunker · 17/05/2008 12:46

She probably thinks you're barking for cancelling, tbh.

binkleandflip · 17/05/2008 12:48

So in essence...your dh got you nothing then ?

kazbeth · 17/05/2008 12:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blandmum · 17/05/2008 12:50

Honstly, it is ds's birthday party today. It is last because I've had little time to organse thing just recently. I don't know if dh will be well enough to go, because he is dying of cancer and is rather poorly.

I know that I can manage the party, but I am rather scared of leaving dh alone, and all the mates that I would call on are away.

Not being funny, but this is something to be upset about.

I'm upset because dh may well miss his sons part and will, in all probabilty be dead by next years part.

You are being faintly insane to be upset about this. This is nothing.

Saturn74 · 17/05/2008 12:53

Exactly Binkle - I pointed that out earlier.

Her DH has not bought anything for her birthday, I think.

And is blaming the friend for having a party for her DS on the day he would have taken her away.

Really, her annoyance seems to be aimed at the wrong person in all this.

Original poster
emmabemmasmom · 17/05/2008 12:54

I am her best friend which is why I am happy my DH knew that and changed our plans so we could be there.

Can't people be a tiny bit peeved at thier best friend or is that never allowed to happen?

Like I said before...I do not give a toss. I am just upset cause my DH is...thats all.

She just called me and is all upset cause like nobody is coming...not even her dad. So I am even more happy that we will be there

OP posts:
Carmenere · 17/05/2008 12:54

Oh MB you are so right I hope you all manage to have a nice day x

Saturn74 · 17/05/2008 12:55

MB, you're right.
I hope your DS has a lovely day.

sallystrawberry · 17/05/2008 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lulumama · 17/05/2008 12:57

your DH could have arranged different baby sitters or got you a token gift.. and you should have gone anyway !

you are cross with the wrong person, but it is your birthday and you can cry if you want to

hunkermunker · 17/05/2008 12:57

MB - happy birthday to your DS

Emma, if you're that close, can't you just talk to her about it, fgs?

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 17/05/2008 12:57

Get over yourself.

MB

Darling girl,huge huge hugs to you all or a manly punch on the arm, take your pick.