to think taking photos of someone in a coffin is the height of disrespect?

[SnoozingFox]

Totally understand that for Catholics this is a very sad time and many of them wish to pay their respects by filing past the coffin in St Peter's.

SO many people in footage just shown on the news taking photos on their phones. I mean. WTF?

I never took any photos of mum or dad when dying or dead as I felt it would be disrespectful. Nominal C of E.

No idea how it works with other religions.

Well quite the photos/film of the deceased pope is all around the world I don't see people taking photos any different, to recording it on television or cutting out a photo from a newspaper.

The use of the word 'Catholics' to sum up the burial and funeral practices of a huge, huge body of people across the world is a little strange and old fashioned. Catholics in England, say, brought up in a non-Catholic country are probably going to arrange funerals in a way that is quite different from Mexican Catholics. Neither of my Catholic parents had open caskets and nobody took photos.

It's not disrespectful or creepy at all if it is the norm in that culture.

My Dad had a lot of Irish relatives and he attended most of their funerals. Having a wake the night before the funeral in the house with the deceased laid out in an open casket was normal, although personal choice of the deceased and/or their family would be respected too. Nobody would have batted an eyelid either way.

It's actually more disrespectful of you to just diss the tradition without any further thought.

Obviously there are occasions when a body is not in a fit state to be displayed, so sometimes it isn't done. That's it. Common sense is used.

Yep
They were the ones often burned as witches.

Good point.
My parents ( Catholic) didn’t either however people went to ‘view’ them in the Funeral Parlour and the coffin lid was off if they wanted it to be. Most did and our Portuguese Catholic neighbours spent a whole day there lighting candles and praying.

I wonder if other religions and the non religious do this. At least in terms of visiting the Funeral Parlour to view the body ?

My family are Irish country catholic.

Up to a number of years ago the most common way a funeral was dealt with was to have a wake at a funeral home the night before. All the family and relatives stood around ready to greet people. The coffin was either open or closed but mostly open. After shaking hands with the family, a lot of people would go and look at the body and perhaps say a prayer. You'd see others completely avoid the body as it's not for everyone. Then the body was brought to the local church, prayers were said and the coffin remained overnight. Mass then the following day and burial afterwards.

Now, it's very common to have the undertaker bring the body home where they are laid out in a room. This could go on for a number of days. Mourners call, tea, cakes and sandwiches are always on the go. It was often the case that the corpse was never left alone, someone stayed up with them or rotated it. Then eventually the funeral went to the church for mass on the day of the burial/cremation.

It's definitely less and less that the corpse stays alone in the church the night before burial/cremation.

Cremation has got very popular also. There's also been a surge in younger people completely bypassing the church. Being waked at home and straight for cremation.

Being waked at home and straight for cremation.

That's what I've opted for. It was the first question our solicitor asked when she was preparing our wills - "What do you want to happen your body?"

I completely agree OP

Yes, same here.

@Julia2016 We are not RC and my Gran had an open casket at a funeral parlour that her dc asked , I didn't go thought

My friend also non RC had a viewing at a funeral parlour, she knew she was dying so had arranged the funeral herself. I did go to see her but I didn't find it a comfort and I don't think I'd view a body again it isn't for me.

Its an absolutely nightmare trying to move the furniture round to fit a coffin in though

Your reaction is the problem.

I bet!

I only started seeing the images this way when I stepped aside from Catholicism, but now I've seen it it's very obvious, to me. The images are gory, explicit and violent. The central holy image of Catholicism, that appears front stage in every church, is a dying man, crucified, nailed to a cross, with thorns on his head and a spear wound in his side. That is what I grew up worshipping, genuflecting and crossing myself in front of it. When I left the faith, I saw what I had spent my life looking at, with new gaze. Possibly others who have always been outside it, wouldn't have the same point of view.

Agree and would add that what is disrespectful is how the English, by and large, treat their dead.

I’m glad to hear the old style wakes are making a revival but disappointed about the cremations. I know Vatican II sanctioned it but still…seems so wrong, to me.

That seems like an unnecessarily unpleasant remark as well, though I don’t agree with the pp choice of words either.

Just because the English have a different approach to death and the dead doesn’t mean it’s disrespectful. My husband died at home, and the ambulance crew were kind enough to put him to bed, where he stayed for a couple of hours until the undertaker arrived. I was with him for that time, but after he’d left the house I felt no need to see his body again. It wasn’t him - he was the words, the mannerisms, the actions, the behaviours and the memories. I still have those.

I asked his parents if they wanted to view him, and they had no desire either. His mother is CofE and his father Catholic. Their view was mine - the body is not the person, just the last physical remains of a life. It’s the view of many people. What we would see as performative grief doesn’t help us, so we don’t do it. If it works for others, that’s great. But it’s unwarranted to say that it is disrespectful.

So it’s ok for someone to say all cultures are not equal but it’s not ok for me to call that out?! Wtaf

Viewing bodies isn’t the issue.

I’m thinking more along of the lines of how in England you have to keep your loved one in a freezer in a morgue for weeks, sometimes months, before the funeral can take place. I think this is a disrespectful system for both the bereaved people and for the bodily remains of the deceased.

And don’t get me started on direct cremations…! Shivers

Yes, they used to dress them and prop them up with the family for a family photo!

"Long exposures when taking photographs meant that the dead were often seen more sharply than the slightly-blurred living, because of their lack of movement."

Trigger warning: Family photos including the deceased are in the article below.
www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-36389581

You don’t ‘have to’ keep your loved one in a morgue. There no law on this. You can keep them at home if you want.

Well, we are all different. My husband died suddenly, and it was three weeks between his death and the funeral. For me, and we are all different, that was just the right amount of time to process his sudden death and organise a funeral and wake that was a fitting tribute. It also meant that friends and family from around the world could attend. Doing it quicker would have seemed rushed and unbefitting to me. And far less respectful. Each to their own.

Yep, you can tell who the deceased is in a lot of those photos.
The different attitudes to death and mourning is fascinating to me.

Some people express the wish to have a direct cremation. My dad is one. He does not want a funeral. He said to drop him of at the tip 😂

My grandad had a service at a place that lets you use it all day, but at the time they did not do cremations (only burials). So he brought to his funeral, then was taken away again, and his ashes came back a few weeks later.
The place his funeral was at was beautiful. No rush... we had all day there. The wake bit was in a different building but throughout the day, we could nip in the chapel for a private moment with him.