to think taking photos of someone in a coffin is the height of disrespect?

[SnoozingFox]

Totally understand that for Catholics this is a very sad time and many of them wish to pay their respects by filing past the coffin in St Peter's.

SO many people in footage just shown on the news taking photos on their phones. I mean. WTF?

I have seen (briefly) the corpses of both my parents as well as some deeply beloved companion animals.

I realised that at the point of death the thing that animates them, makes them human, or dog, or cat has gone. What is left is the outer shell.

Now I understand other cultures venerate the dead body in all sorts of ways. But to me reading about those people taking selfies with thé Pope
seemed entirely disrespectful. Why? But nothing to be done I suppose.

But can you get them buried/cremated in 2-3 days? Otherwise it’s not feasible.

Sorry for your loss.

What you’ve described makes sense. I suppose if I had to organise a funeral out of the blue in England I wouldn’t know where to begin, and the last thing you need when you’re grieving is stress.

I think I just saw things differently because I’m from a culture where everyone pretty much has the same type of wake, funeral, mass and burial. There aren’t many decisions to be made.

This is fascinating and also so heartbreaking. All those babies and children 😢

The tip…! 😂 Your dad sounds a right character!

Your grandad’s service sounds lovely, was it non-religious? I don’t think a send off needs to be religious at all, just dignified, warm and of comfort to the living which it sounds like it was.

What is a true church? Pagan I presume.

Thank you.

But that’s why no-one should judge what’s right and wrong from a funeral perspective. In a a culture where everyone has the same type of funeral I’m sure there’s great comfort in the ritual of that, and it’s (relatively) easy to organise. But to others that could be seen as formulaic and not at all respectful of the individual who you are remembering. For me, because the funeral was the last thing I would be able to do for him I wanted it to reflect him, be something he’d be pleased with and involve the people that mattered to us both. Neither is a better approach than the other. It’s just different. And I think we should celebrate difference :)

This is why I think it does help to see your beloved when they’ve died because otherwise, especially if it was a sudden death, it can be hard to believe they’re really gone.

For me it helps with the mourning process. One relative died over 5 years ago and there was no viewing as it was here in England and I still find it hard to believe they’re gone.

Pagan would be a lot truer than Mormonism, in my book!

I’d say I’m half trad Catholic and half Pagan, seems an uneasy union but I’d say a lot of Irish and South Americans would be this mix 😅

My grandad was a Jehovah Witness, so the service did have that slant to it. But the service was 30 min or so... the rest of day was like a party. The venue provided catering etc
Everyone left with smiles and laughter. Even the staff said they had never seen anything like it. Our family are a bit weird like that 😂
But it was exactly what my grandad would have wanted. He used to speak about his funeral wishes. He even called his cremation his 'barbecue' 😂

Absolutely, and fully accept your points about formulaic elements causing problems. This did indeed happen with one of my relatives who we were unable to give a eulogy for in the church as “it’s not a traditional part of the requiem mass”. Of course that little busy body priest has left now and eulogies are back on the menu!

I think where I struggle is say you “want” to have your loved one’s funeral in X amount of time but you are made to wait X weeks longer than you want because of scheduling issues. I think that’s awful and the government really need to step in and set some minimum standards around timings. Nationalise funeral care…or something like that!

Lol…I can see where your dad got his GSOH!

Sounds like a lovely send off - I’m yet to go to a funeral like that in England (and hope not to have to go to anymore, obviously!).

It was a true celebration of his life. I was a pallbearer too, which was a huge honour. To her shame, my mum rang the funeral directors and asked if women were allowed to do it. One of his daughters, and two granddaughters carried him to the chapel (along with two sons and a grandson). He would have been so proud of us... even though we went out of step.
Ha, I am tearing up now.

Good for you - why shouldn’t someone be carried on their final journey by the people who loved them most, even if they do happen to be women!

Oh god, don’t nationalise it. Have you seen what’s going on with the rubbish collections in Birmingham? The bodies would be piled up on the streets. And we’d have to have curled up British Rail sandwiches at the wake 🤣🤣

On the timing front, I could have had it within a week if I hasn’t been fussy about the time. But the undertaker said to me that almost everyone wants a funeral to be between 11 and 14:30, so that mourners can get there and back in a day, and they also prefer Thursday / Friday or Monday. If you’re happy with 09:30 on a Tuesday I doubt you’d wait anywhere near 3 weeks!

edited for timings!

Its a requirement for some religions. So they must be able to get it all sorted somehow.
I know a school parent got her dh buried the day after death. I can’t remember what religion she was that required that though.

There are professional funeral photographers available. It is probably more acceptable due to selfies being so popular.

I used to work in a hospital as a porter... part of my job was assisting in the body store, and some deceased patients were picked up within 24 hours of death as per part of their religion. So funerals can and were done in that time.

Oh Lord! Yes I didn’t think that one through! Walking it back, walking it back…

Nice for some to be able to pick and choose!

My daughter is a paramedic...she does this too when somebody dies at home.

Judaism and Islam..... according to Google. Burial or cremation within 24 hours of death.

The Catholic Church lifted the ban on cremation in 1963 and photos of the dead may be cultural but is not a 'Catholic thing'. I find it totally distasteful and feel sad that Pope Francis had no choice in this spectacle as I'm sure it's the last thing he would have wanted.

Yes agree, it’s turned into a bit of a circus now.

That’s really swift! Would be too quick for me personally.