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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think taking photos of someone in a coffin is the height of disrespect?

260 replies

SnoozingFox · 23/04/2025 18:09

Totally understand that for Catholics this is a very sad time and many of them wish to pay their respects by filing past the coffin in St Peter's.

SO many people in footage just shown on the news taking photos on their phones. I mean. WTF?

OP posts:
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6
Dotjones · 24/04/2025 11:10

I don't think it's the "height of disrespect" - funeral bombings are probably worse.

It's a cultural thing anyway (photographs, not bombings). I find open-cask coffins distasteful, others don't.

DrPrunesqualer · 24/04/2025 11:11

Lostsadandconfused · 24/04/2025 06:19

It’s the pope. I’m sure he would expect all good Catholics to take a photo, frame it and display it proudly.

No I’m afraid not.
Its not actually allowed to take a photo of the Pope in this situation. People are though and I suppose no one feels they can stop them in their grief.

Katiesaidthat · 24/04/2025 11:12

SnoozingFox · 23/04/2025 18:21

I get that it's a "cultural thing" to have open coffins and to have a wake or sit vigil with the body. That is respectful.

Jostling for the perfect photo of the dead body lying in a coffin is just ... not.

I´m catholic and I agree with you.

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/04/2025 11:13

In what way is it “cultural” camera phones are a relatively recent thing?

There are photos of dead criminals and victims in some police museums and such. They are ghoulish, as is taking photographs of this man in his coffin. Height of disrespect. Amazed it’s allowed.

TrinityClover · 24/04/2025 11:23

It’s really bizarre but yes a cultural thing. In the course of my work I went in to the house of an Irish family. They had a framed photograph in pride of place n their mantelpiece of their dead grandma in her coffin? I really couldn’t understand why!

DrPrunesqualer · 24/04/2025 11:36

TrinityClover · 24/04/2025 11:23

It’s really bizarre but yes a cultural thing. In the course of my work I went in to the house of an Irish family. They had a framed photograph in pride of place n their mantelpiece of their dead grandma in her coffin? I really couldn’t understand why!

Gosh that does sound grim.
Ive heard of photos taken of family members with the dead body ( not a catholic thing) in the early days of photography when they’d prop the body up beside them which is also grim but a sign of the times I suppose.

Im thinking the family you visited did this because they wanted to and not because of their religion. Perhaps it’s just a family tradition.

surreygirlzz · 24/04/2025 12:03

The insane modern world
Pathetic people

grooveraidiator · 24/04/2025 12:15

i think it completely depends - Vatican releasing an official photo seems very different from members of the public strolling up with their own phones to take a selfie of an open coffin. i personally think the latter is poor form but people have fewer boundaries now!

KrisAkabusi · 24/04/2025 12:18

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/04/2025 11:13

In what way is it “cultural” camera phones are a relatively recent thing?

There are photos of dead criminals and victims in some police museums and such. They are ghoulish, as is taking photographs of this man in his coffin. Height of disrespect. Amazed it’s allowed.

Actual cameras have been around for nearly 200 years though. YOu can't pretend this is a new thing.

Anothercoat · 24/04/2025 12:28

The crucifix (Christ nailed on the cross rather than a cross by itself) is a Catholic image literally of the dead Christ, which by my reckoning is 2025 years old, give or take.

Dead Catholic imagery is not new.

See also Capuchin Cemetary and Catholic relics. Bits of dead everywhere.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 24/04/2025 12:32

TrinityClover · 24/04/2025 11:23

It’s really bizarre but yes a cultural thing. In the course of my work I went in to the house of an Irish family. They had a framed photograph in pride of place n their mantelpiece of their dead grandma in her coffin? I really couldn’t understand why!

TI'm Irish and have never encountered a photo of a corpse in a coffin or ever heard of anyone having one on display so it's definitely a standard Irish cultural thing.

Abhannmor · 24/04/2025 12:34

It does seem a bit gross and creepy. I've been at ' open coffin' wakes. Nobody would dream of taking photo of the deceased however. Maybe more of a thing for the bereaved in eg the USA though?

DrPrunesqualer · 24/04/2025 12:35

OchonAgusOchonOh · 24/04/2025 12:32

TI'm Irish and have never encountered a photo of a corpse in a coffin or ever heard of anyone having one on display so it's definitely a standard Irish cultural thing.

Did you miss the word Not out ?

Spinachpastapicker · 24/04/2025 12:38

Not everybody has to confirm to white UK (non Catholic) rules over death. You’re not the only culture or arbiter of taste. Tough if it offends you.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 24/04/2025 12:44

DrPrunesqualer · 24/04/2025 12:35

Did you miss the word Not out ?

Well spotted. Yes, I did.

It is not an Irish cultural thing.

OhWhistle · 24/04/2025 13:30

I bet there were people with sketch pads or other pre-digital tech in previous centuries who would later on illustrate pamphlets or sell portraits taken from public events such as funerals and executions.

When St Thomas was martyred at Canterbury someone soaked cloth in his blood and took it home and added water to get a relic. Now that is taking embodiment seriously.

I look forward to pushing up daisies one day.

DrPrunesqualer · 24/04/2025 13:40

OhWhistle · 24/04/2025 13:30

I bet there were people with sketch pads or other pre-digital tech in previous centuries who would later on illustrate pamphlets or sell portraits taken from public events such as funerals and executions.

When St Thomas was martyred at Canterbury someone soaked cloth in his blood and took it home and added water to get a relic. Now that is taking embodiment seriously.

I look forward to pushing up daisies one day.

Just a part of An article on this subject of relics

to think taking photos of someone in a coffin is the height of disrespect?
frogswimming · 24/04/2025 14:05

It’s interesting how much variety there is in death and funerals. So much of life has become the same everywhere. Death seems to have kept more cultural/religious/local variety.

In Ireland Catholic traditions vary a lot as well, eg open coffins and remains in home for wakes not very common in Dublin but common in the country (in my experience). There’s a new crematorium opened (or opening?) in north Dublin and cremation seems to becoming more popular.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 24/04/2025 14:14

OhWhistle · 24/04/2025 13:30

I bet there were people with sketch pads or other pre-digital tech in previous centuries who would later on illustrate pamphlets or sell portraits taken from public events such as funerals and executions.

When St Thomas was martyred at Canterbury someone soaked cloth in his blood and took it home and added water to get a relic. Now that is taking embodiment seriously.

I look forward to pushing up daisies one day.

There was a massive business in relics back in the day. You could make a fortune from it. There are apparently 3 official authentic heads of St. John the Baptist...

The guy with the cloth presumably spotted a business opportunity and grabbed it.

OhWhistle · 24/04/2025 14:20

OchonAgusOchonOh · 24/04/2025 14:14

There was a massive business in relics back in the day. You could make a fortune from it. There are apparently 3 official authentic heads of St. John the Baptist...

The guy with the cloth presumably spotted a business opportunity and grabbed it.

Sweetly, he took it home for his wife

OchonAgusOchonOh · 24/04/2025 14:21

DrPrunesqualer · 24/04/2025 13:40

Just a part of An article on this subject of relics

The article doesn't mention that massive demand for relics in the middle ages led to loads of fake relics being passed off as the real thing. A church with a relic stood to make a lot of money from pilgrims so it was definitely advantageous to have one.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 24/04/2025 14:22

OhWhistle · 24/04/2025 14:20

Sweetly, he took it home for his wife

That's sweet. Did she at least recognise the business opportunity and sell off little bits for a fortune?

DrPrunesqualer · 24/04/2025 14:22

OchonAgusOchonOh · 24/04/2025 14:14

There was a massive business in relics back in the day. You could make a fortune from it. There are apparently 3 official authentic heads of St. John the Baptist...

The guy with the cloth presumably spotted a business opportunity and grabbed it.

Relics are revered in other religions too.
Muslims have two heads of John the Baptist in Two mosques in Damascas .

OchonAgusOchonOh · 24/04/2025 14:28

DrPrunesqualer · 24/04/2025 14:22

Relics are revered in other religions too.
Muslims have two heads of John the Baptist in Two mosques in Damascas .

St John the Baptist is the only person in history who was able to regrow his head. A true miracle. I knew there was one mosque and 2 churches claiming they have his head but if there's a second mosque, that makes 4 heads.

DrPrunesqualer · 24/04/2025 14:29

OchonAgusOchonOh · 24/04/2025 14:28

St John the Baptist is the only person in history who was able to regrow his head. A true miracle. I knew there was one mosque and 2 churches claiming they have his head but if there's a second mosque, that makes 4 heads.

I think I read there are ? five heads but I’m struggling to find the fifth 🥴

I’ll have a Google 😁