Page 4 | to think taking photos of someone in a coffin is the height of disrespect?

QueefQueen80s · 23/04/2025 21:16

Sofiewoo · 23/04/2025 18:15

As a catholic we have our dead in the living room, give them a wee kiss and eat sandwiches and drink tea while leaning up against the coffin so I don’t think many catholics would view photos of a coffin as disrespectful.
I have film photos of the coffin on the walk to the cemetery of most older relatives, it’s not a new thing.

I do wish this was more normal in England rather than shutting the dead away and having it all taboo and hidden and clinical.

Tbrh · 23/04/2025 21:17

In that context yes, disrespectful. They should probably not allow phones.

Sofiewoo · 23/04/2025 21:18

QueefQueen80s · 23/04/2025 21:16

I do wish this was more normal in England rather than shutting the dead away and having it all taboo and hidden and clinical.

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It’s interesting so many people try to paint it as gruesome and wrong, personally I think that of leaving your loved one alone in a fridge in a morgue.
Catholics keep the loved one at home, surrounded by family until they are laid to rest. I think it’s much more respectful.

XenoBitch · 23/04/2025 21:20

Jabberwok · 23/04/2025 19:48

We in the UK have a problem in my view with death..and I speak as someone who works for a funeral director and someone who is going to the funeral of a close family member this week.

Firstly, we do not discuss it, ever, I've tried broaching the subject of what she would like at her funeral with mil who is 94...she refuses to tell us.
We don't have discussions about what we want at the funeral after a person has died, I've lost count of the number of funerals where the family suddenly want to carry the coffin or can't decide who walks behind it or even who is travelling in what car. I know that they are grieving but these days it's 3 weeks or more after the death.secondly

Secondly, the fact that there are delays and funerals often happen weeks after the death. They are meant to be part of the grieving process and these delays often make the while whole situation much worse.

Finally, American tv and film always show a perfect looking, embalmed body (a live actor)...we don't usually embalm in the UK, the toxic chemical, especially in the more usual cremation, are not good. So if you do see your loved one, especially after a couple of weeks they don't look like they did (death removed the spark, the soul if you will of who they were leaving an empty vessel).

're photos, the strangest thing I have experienced is the person filming us removing their grandmother from the bed she died in right up to us closing the ambulance door...I was creeped out

Edited

You have posted on here before where you were very judgemental about grieving clients who "lacked the respect" to find trousers to wear after their mum had died.
You post here just smacks of more lack of understanding about how people grieve, and how things can change... even on the day.

Someone filming their gran on their final journey is about them... not you.

Please do grieving families a favour and get a different job.

TheLarkAscendingRose · 23/04/2025 21:23

TheTigerWhoCameToBrunch · 23/04/2025 19:08

I actually think the height of disrespect for a dead body is to shove it in a furnace and burn it.

For Catholics and the Orthodox Churches (i.e. the true church and not some pale imitation), cremation is a sin as it is the desecration of the body.

"Shoving" it underground to be eaten by worms isn't much better let's face it.

TheLarkAscendingRose · 23/04/2025 21:25

Jabberwok · 23/04/2025 19:48

We in the UK have a problem in my view with death..and I speak as someone who works for a funeral director and someone who is going to the funeral of a close family member this week.

Firstly, we do not discuss it, ever, I've tried broaching the subject of what she would like at her funeral with mil who is 94...she refuses to tell us.
We don't have discussions about what we want at the funeral after a person has died, I've lost count of the number of funerals where the family suddenly want to carry the coffin or can't decide who walks behind it or even who is travelling in what car. I know that they are grieving but these days it's 3 weeks or more after the death.secondly

Secondly, the fact that there are delays and funerals often happen weeks after the death. They are meant to be part of the grieving process and these delays often make the while whole situation much worse.

Finally, American tv and film always show a perfect looking, embalmed body (a live actor)...we don't usually embalm in the UK, the toxic chemical, especially in the more usual cremation, are not good. So if you do see your loved one, especially after a couple of weeks they don't look like they did (death removed the spark, the soul if you will of who they were leaving an empty vessel).

're photos, the strangest thing I have experienced is the person filming us removing their grandmother from the bed she died in right up to us closing the ambulance door...I was creeped out

Edited

It's cultural.

KrisAkabusi · 23/04/2025 21:29

SnoozingFox · 23/04/2025 18:09

Totally understand that for Catholics this is a very sad time and many of them wish to pay their respects by filing past the coffin in St Peter's.

SO many people in footage just shown on the news taking photos on their phones. I mean. WTF?

Is it different if its a BBC camera filming the body?

AquaPeer · 23/04/2025 21:29

It is a cultural thing and you should be more respectful of other cultures. It’s not just Catholics other cultures do the same.

Hastentoadd · 23/04/2025 21:30

Anothercoat · 23/04/2025 18:19

Cultural differences. It’s a Catholic Thang.

I’m a catholic and have never seen anyone do it at a funeral,

OhWhistle · 23/04/2025 21:31

TheLarkAscendingRose · 23/04/2025 21:23

"Shoving" it underground to be eaten by worms isn't much better let's face it.

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Worms are lovely. St Francis of Assisi loved worms. Praise creation for its economy of nourishment.

Gettingbysomehow · 23/04/2025 21:32

No I don't. My friend died aged 43. He had no family so his friends arranged his funeral and we all took photos of him in his coffin for our memories and we treasure them. We kissed him too. We wanted him to be surrounded by his friends at the end and several were with him when he died.
It's perfectly normal for people to do this in Italy. Depends on the culture and religion.
I think we have a very strange attitude to death in the UK. It's very shut off.

TheLarkAscendingRose · 23/04/2025 21:33

Gettingbysomehow · 23/04/2025 21:32

No I don't. My friend died aged 43. He had no family so his friends arranged his funeral and we all took photos of him in his coffin for our memories and we treasure them. We kissed him too. We wanted him to be surrounded by his friends at the end and several were with him when he died.
It's perfectly normal for people to do this in Italy. Depends on the culture and religion.
I think we have a very strange attitude to death in the UK. It's very shut off.

It's cultural

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 23/04/2025 21:39

As a Scottish catholic we have a 5 day rosary, (vigal).

3 days at home with our loved one where family and friends come and pay their respects and have tea and sandwiches (normally in the living room)

3rd day, the priest comes and does a rosary at home. (Normally on an evening)

4th day - Priest, family and friends transport the body (reception of the body) to the church with friends and family walking behind the coffin.

5th day - Funeral mass and coffin transport to the burial site.

I say this as a Scottish catholic , as in my experience living in England , they don’t really tend to do this.

Sorry edited as pressed too soon, it’s definitely cultural.

PeloMom · 23/04/2025 21:41

I think it’s cultural. Once a relative asked me if I wanted pictures of a close relative’s funeral. I said sure (thinking will be pics of the gathering, flowers etc). Didn’t expect the pics of open casket I got instead.

DrPrunesqualer · 23/04/2025 21:47

As a Catholic I can confirm you are not allowed to photograph the Pope in his sick or death bed.
This from the Catholic News when Pope Francis was ill
Pope John Paul forbade it in 1996

to think taking photos of someone in a coffin is the height of disrespect?

QueefQueen80s · 23/04/2025 21:48

Sofiewoo · 23/04/2025 21:18

It’s interesting so many people try to paint it as gruesome and wrong, personally I think that of leaving your loved one alone in a fridge in a morgue.
Catholics keep the loved one at home, surrounded by family until they are laid to rest. I think it’s much more respectful.

Show quote history

Totally agree, I hated that I had limited viewing time with my parents and in such a clinical setting. I’m fine with death and I think to accept it we need to normalise it. I love the idea of everyone coming to visit, laughing, kissing goodbye, having lots of conversations about them while being sat with them. Feels like a proper goodbye and closure.

DrPrunesqualer · 23/04/2025 21:49

AquaPeer · 23/04/2025 21:29

It is a cultural thing and you should be more respectful of other cultures. It’s not just Catholics other cultures do the same.

It is cultural but in fact you are not allowed to photograph the Pope.
You can photograph anyone else in a coffin, just not the Pope.

Itsoneofthose · 23/04/2025 21:51

Someone took a photo of my close relatives hand, filtered it, and POSTED it on Facebook. The most, distasteful, low brow, despicable thing a person could do. It’s a social norm to just ‘know’ when something isn’t the done thing. It’s not the done thing.

ItGhoul · 23/04/2025 21:51

SnoozingFox · 23/04/2025 18:21

I get that it's a "cultural thing" to have open coffins and to have a wake or sit vigil with the body. That is respectful.

Jostling for the perfect photo of the dead body lying in a coffin is just ... not.

It absolutely is a cultural thing, though. Just because you don’t like it, or are not used to it, that doesn’t mean it’s considered wrong everywhere.

AquaPeer · 23/04/2025 21:52

DrPrunesqualer · 23/04/2025 21:49

It is cultural but in fact you are not allowed to photograph the Pope.
You can photograph anyone else in a coffin, just not the Pope.

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No one is stopping it though, presumably, otherwise op wouldn’t have seen it happening. If it’s against Vatican rules they would need to enforce them. If they don’t I don’t see that it matters whether it’s allowed or not

swimsong · 23/04/2025 21:54

ILoveMyWeeds · 23/04/2025 18:17

Weirdest thing I saw was a Facebook post where someone checked in at a crematorium and tagged other people, including the deceased

It truly is a brave new world.

DrPrunesqualer · 23/04/2025 21:56

QueefQueen80s · 23/04/2025 21:48

Totally agree, I hated that I had limited viewing time with my parents and in such a clinical setting. I’m fine with death and I think to accept it we need to normalise it. I love the idea of everyone coming to visit, laughing, kissing goodbye, having lots of conversations about them while being sat with them. Feels like a proper goodbye and closure.

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@Sofiewoo I’m a Catholic
Whilst my grandad was at home for a three day wake and taken straight from there to church this was in Ireland in the 80s.
These days the body is left in the church the night before the funeral. Family can sit with the body through the night in the church.
It’s extremely rare in the UK to have the body at home. Of all the family and friends that have passed away not one had a home wake. We got together for a big ‘do’ afterwards, not before.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 23/04/2025 21:58

DrPrunesqualer · 23/04/2025 21:56

@Sofiewoo I’m a Catholic
Whilst my grandad was at home for a three day wake and taken straight from there to church this was in Ireland in the 80s.
These days the body is left in the church the night before the funeral. Family can sit with the body through the night in the church.
It’s extremely rare in the UK to have the body at home. Of all the family and friends that have passed away not one had a home wake. We got together for a big ‘do’ afterwards, not before.

Edited

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Not rare at all, especially in Scotland.

DrPrunesqualer · 23/04/2025 21:58

AquaPeer · 23/04/2025 21:52

No one is stopping it though, presumably, otherwise op wouldn’t have seen it happening. If it’s against Vatican rules they would need to enforce them. If they don’t I don’t see that it matters whether it’s allowed or not

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Agree no one is stopping it.
Im just pointing out its not a cultural thing as people keep saying this.

DrPrunesqualer · 23/04/2025 21:59

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 23/04/2025 21:58

Not rare at all, especially in Scotland.

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I wouldn’t know about Scotland.
We’re England and Ireland