to think taking photos of someone in a coffin is the height of disrespect?

[SnoozingFox]

Totally understand that for Catholics this is a very sad time and many of them wish to pay their respects by filing past the coffin in St Peter's.

SO many people in footage just shown on the news taking photos on their phones. I mean. WTF?

I literally just replied saying the same thing! What a pointless task. 😅

In Victorian time they would have photos taken with the family often the dead person propped up as if stlll alive

Some with drawn on eyes

it's cultural

I don't know. I wouldn't take a photo of a stranger, but it's normal in some countries to take photographs of a family funeral/the coffin and put it in the family photo album.

We in the UK have a problem in my view with death..and I speak as someone who works for a funeral director and someone who is going to the funeral of a close family member this week.

Firstly, we do not discuss it, ever, I've tried broaching the subject of what she would like at her funeral with mil who is 94...she refuses to tell us.
We don't have discussions about what we want at the funeral after a person has died, I've lost count of the number of funerals where the family suddenly want to carry the coffin or can't decide who walks behind it or even who is travelling in what car. I know that they are grieving but these days it's 3 weeks or more after the death.secondly

Secondly, the fact that there are delays and funerals often happen weeks after the death. They are meant to be part of the grieving process and these delays often make the while whole situation much worse.

Finally, American tv and film always show a perfect looking, embalmed body (a live actor)...we don't usually embalm in the UK, the toxic chemical, especially in the more usual cremation, are not good. So if you do see your loved one, especially after a couple of weeks they don't look like they did (death removed the spark, the soul if you will of who they were leaving an empty vessel).

're photos, the strangest thing I have experienced is the person filming us removing their grandmother from the bed she died in right up to us closing the ambulance door...I was creeped out

I think the Mexican 'Day of the Dead' sometimes has, or had, similar gruesome (to us) practices. But it's all just cultural norms.

I grew up in northern Europe, up until recently years it was normal for a family to take photos of themselves standing next to the deceased during the vigil. I think it's not a done thing anymore there but older generations still might do it

I can't understand why it's shameful or "cultural" - what does that even mean?

I'm in the UK, older, and have no problem with photos of the dead. When my father died I took a photo when I viewed the body laid out in the coffin, it was the last time I ever saw him and still have the picture.

Such pictures can be a comfort and a reassurance in the face of death, there's nothing disrespectful about it.

Not sure about posting everything on social media but that's a different issue.

we don't usually embalm in the UK, the toxic chemical

Every funeral I’ve ever been to except one has been an open coffin, of course bodies are embalmed in the UK!

Yes, they absolutely are embalmed. Where I work, the embalmer comes to the funeral home every Tuesday afternoon and does all the bodies that need to be done that week. It’s fascinating to watch.

Finally, American tv and film always show a perfect looking, embalmed body (a live actor)...we don't usually embalm in the UK

It’s a broadly similar percentage of around 50%-60% in both countries - it’s very slightly higher in the US due to a higher population of predominantly Catholic Hispanics and Italian Americans who tend towards long wake periods, for which embalming is necessary, but we absolutely embalm in the U.K.

People take photos for different reasons.

I took a photo of my dad in his coffin,
because he looked better then that he had in the last 6 weeks of his life.

I also have a few photos of my mum,
not because we wanted them but
because she looked horrendous and
we have made a complaint to the
funeral home. So the photos are
"evidence" of what we saw. She died
peacefully and naturally so should
have looked reasonably good, instead what we saw was awful!

I wasn't allowed to see my son
because of his injuries (suicide) but I wish I had a photo, but thats because he died in another country and I still
get the "what if it wasn't him
moments"

Where do you live? Ireland? I've been to lots of funerals and never seen an open coffin

To me corpses have never held any appeal- it’s not the person. Their soul has gone. It’s just an empty vessel. Seen both my parents die & seeing their dead bodies was a bizarre and unsettling experience. I would never want an open coffin & I’ve never been to see people at funeral homes etc when they’ve died. I prefer to remember them when they were alive and themselves- with their personality and their soul. Everyone is different but to me a corpse is just that.

Agree. I find it really really distasteful. Why would you want that on your camera roll? So strange. Is it mindless snapping or something else?

edit: I’m thinking here of people taking photos of Pope Francis, not the individual and very sad examples some ppl have shared above about family members. 🕊️ 💟

I am from a catholic country and personally I think it is creepy, but some of my family member did take photos of their grandparents just after their death (no open coffin funerals so they could not take them then). It weirds me out but a lot of people consider it normal.

I didn't see the programme (wouldn't want to) but I have heard about that tradition. It sounds gruesome and upsetting, but I suppose it isn't if you've been brought up in that culture.

This is done in our family.
Its not a family photo to pop on show its personal and its not a all get in the shot thing.
Its not shameful its a sign of respect for the dead.
We are taught not to fear the dead in our family and we dont.

@OlderYearsIsBest The reference to 'cultural' just means that different cultures/countries/groups have different ideas. So in some societies, death is talked about more, viewing a dead body might be common, they could have different rituals - like burning a body, or burying a body, or embalming a body etc. in another society, it could be that death is never referred to. We just get used to what we're subjected to, so it seems normal to us. (Just ignore this if you weren't really asking what 'cultural' meant! I just took you literally.)

It’s a cultural/ religious difference

I don’t think it’s disrespectful at all especially if they were in a lot of pain and the loved one wants to remember them at peace.

I remember seeing my grandad laid out in the front room when I was about 9 in the 70s. He looked very peaceful.

Well, yes. If you are brought up in that culture then it is probably something you celebrate every year.
I do think that we generally fear death and all that comes with it. It gets us all in the end.

It wasn’t gruesome or upsetting in the slightest. It was honouring their dead relatives and they made such an effort to make them look well turned out with new clothes etc and bought them gifts of things they loved when they were living. Personally wouldn’t want to do that with my own rellys but I find the meaning behind the ritual very touching.

It was on ‘Dark tourist’ for anyone interested. Actually a very good series worth watching!

Why wouldn't you want to remember a last moment with the Holy Father?

So long as nobody is fighting, it's beautiful.

Roman Catholicism believes in the resurrection of the body and the life of her world to come.

We also believe in transubstantiation...becoming one in the body of Christ at the Eucharist.

It's an embodied faith. We love stuff.

UK.
Your experience isn’t the only reality.