To report to the police for obtaining CCTV in a swimming pool

[Dinodoor]

So my partner goes to a gym where a girl also goes. They have a partner who is convinced that they’re having some sort of an affair and despises my partner. My partner and this girl are on friendly terms but he has a number of friends at this gym.

He’s always given my partner dirty looks and blocked him on instagram. Very petty things but it’s recently come to light that he’s obtained cctv, it’s then having a conversation in the swimming pool. How he’s got this I have no clue but it seems insane to me? Is this something that we can report? This seems like a breach on of privacy?

So my partner had never had any direct confrontation with him before but always got the impression that he is not his biggest fan. He talks to LOADS OF PEOPLE at the gym as he spends about 2 hours a 6 days a week there. He doesn’t speak to her anymore than anyone else but they’re civil. The girls partner sent me a direct message on Instagram. I found it in my drafts and they’d blown up because he found out that she follows him on instagram (he doesn’t follow her)

Oh op

This is your partner’s fish to fry

leave him to it. I suspect his response (he does know???) will be telling

2 hours 6 days a week??

Sounds like typical 'gym goers willy waving' to me.

Anyway, just show the footage to the gym manager and ask why it was given to him.

Most people men included would run a mile even friendly chatting to someone who had a partner who was going batshit and causing issues tyres and cctv and whatever else.

Your husband is choosing to continue poking the bear innocently or not, id place bets someone’s poking the girlfriend your husband or someone else.

A lot of unpick isnt there

do you and he have children together?

This is a police matter imho.
The girls’ partner is exhibiting very controlling and possessive behaviours so may be some DV going on at home
The partner is also now slashing tires and sending cctv to your partner to intimidate and threaten him.

These are very concerning and yes I would be filing a report with the police and I would be calling adult social services to report concern for the girl who seems to have an unhinged partner that is controlling her.

I was actually quite concerned about her to be perfectly honest. I’ve sent her a message asking her to ring me, under the illusion of being a quick question I need to ask her, when she gets a moment and I plan to ask her if she is okay and just advice her that I can Point her in the direction of help if needs be.

I have 2 children but have no issues with his gym going timeframe. We both enjoy our separate time

She will probably say everything is just fine even if it isn’t. But worth asking and saying she can contact you, you’re a safe harbour,

But yes, I’m very concerned for her too. Your partner is in my impression just one of many excuses for her partner’s campaign of coercive control.

I doubt it’s a police matter (unless you’re thinking he’s damaging the tyres and then I’d get my own cctv put up/report to police if it keeps happening outside of the gym), but I’d think it was a matter for the pool. Their employees shouldn’t be sharing it.

A friend of mine once asked for cctv of her boyfriend and a woman shopping together, and as she knew a woman who worked there was given screenshots of the cctv. I think the worker would be sacked if her boss found out, though he didn’t.

So no children with him

Op

have you told and showed your partner what you’ve been sent? You don’t mention his response

So how do you have her number?

He basically laughed it off, the accusations are pretty baseless hence the title isn’t ‘my partner has been having an affair for the last 18 months and has been caught on cctv.’ 😂

But he’s furious about the video, which I get

No, they’re my children from a previous relationship. We’re actually nearing completion of buying a house so don’t need added stress

I don't really understand why you haven't shown the message to the pool manager and asked wtf is going on?

Op

anonymous forum

have you ever had suspicions about your partner and another woman? Not necessarily this one?

Why do you have the woman’s number?

If the footage is a phone recording of the CCTV playback screen then either the partner has been into the control room and watched the playback, or he has asked/paid the CCTV operator to quietly record it, or the CCTV footage is lying around on the Internet somewhere in neat folders by month and day. Whatever the case, the company that runs the CCTV (which may not be physically located anywhere near the gym) has some serious explaining to do.

Everyone asking about numbers they all know/follow each other on Instagram so can message directly on there no need to know numbers.

There’s no breach of privacy.

My partner is your typical loud, rowdy, body builder that you get in every gym and your regular gym goer doesn’t like (me included) and is a very charismatic person by nature. But I think that is just that, he is a very kind and emotionally intelligent person and doesn’t have the filter from his brain to his mouth to have an affair

Exactly that 👏

You would be bonkers to get yourself involved in this. Especially under the pretence of caring about her.

Her boyfriend is a nutter. You have children. At best you might cause her a world of hurt of he finds out you've spoken. And without wishing to victim shame, she is putting up with all this crap and more, you won't be a saviour hut you may put your own family at risk.

Think.