Hi. Well it's tricky! (Sorry this will be long!) School didn't raise any concerns specifically. He was v energetic, forgetful, distracted and talkative in reception and year 1 which was commented on, but lots of young children are.
I work in a field where I have knowledge of ADHD and ASC, but equally, where I have seen some children who in my professional opinion have been diagnosed too soon when their behaviours may be 'normal' variation on childhood behaviour and waiting for later diagnosis would perhaps have been preferable (and I know for many, early diagnosis is also important so the child can get the right help. I'm not suggesting otherwise.) My profession is also a little more sceptical of diagnosis in some circumstances than perhaps other professions and/or lay people may be. So like it or not, this likely has influenced my view. Although I am not averse to diagnosis
These things influenced me to want to wait and postpone any assessment. In all honesty I was pretty sure that at age 4 or 5 he would have met the criteria for ADHD had I wanted to pursue this. I know from working in the field that when a child has particular traits plus stereotypies, the presence of the stereotypies can lead to bias in the professionals opinion and a higher likelihood of diagnosis especially if the parent is wanting that and school are supporting that.
I was nervous to get him assessed because I thought there was a risk of a false positive diagnosis. I chose to wait. We got DS involved in lots of sport to channel his energy and thought we'd just wait for him to get a bit older and start to discover his personality, watch his friendships and interactions etc.. and see what happened. We were open minded to pursuing assessment for ADHD in the future.
By year 3/4 he was very much more settled in classes. Was calmer. Didn't talk excessively. He had excellent reports of in-class behaviour, was becoming less distracted and sport really worked to channel energy and help in managing his stereotypies. (By year 2 he was swimming 5 times a week! That's how much energy he had and how motor he was!) He had lots of friends and teachers had zero concerns.
By year 6 he was described as a model pupil and role model for other kids. He was seen as a well behaved pupil. He got exceed in all his SATS so I assume his concentration etc.. had improved. His stereotypies were significantly reducing. He's now in year 8, and honestly no evidence of ADHD whatsoever. He doesn't swim competitively any more because he doesn't need to anymore (at his peak he was swimming up to 8 x 90 minutes sessions a week) and nor does he particularly want to as his interests have diversified. He's no more energetic than anyone else now. He still does some sport in the week, but largely his pursuits are more geeky and sedentry. He's v attentive in lessons etc..
So I'm pleased I waited and didn't pursue early diagnosis because I genuinely believe there would have been a false positive diagnosis made. I do believe some children are just more 'motor' in the primary school years than others. For my son, channeling that energy through sport I believe was the right thing to do. And not jumping into diagnosis too soon was also right for us.
In terms of ASC - I can't really see any autistic traits at all. He's incredibly sociable, good at perspective taking, doesn't need structure or routine or anything. Like all of us, he has the odd quirk and the odd thing that could be seen as an ASC trait, but nothing that would be anywhere close to him meeting criteria for a diagnosis of ASC.
I just see DS as very average! He fits in well with his peer group etc.. Now age 13 there is no evidence of either ADHD or Autism. Given my profession if I had any concerns still now by this age, I would have him assessed. But there is nothing. He's a good, hard working, focussed student with lots of friends and varied interests.
My youngest is year 6 and is having a few difficulties with learning and is being assessed for dyslexia. Led by school. So I'm happy to be guided by advice and am not averse to diagnosis or getting appropriate help for my children. But equally I think as parents we do sometimes have an instinct for if something is wrong, and despite his stereotypies I just 'knew' in my gut that my son wasn't neurodiverse. Just like I do 'know' in my gut that my youngest does take a bit longer to understand some things than other children his age.