Hand flapping

[Donttellanyone1]

Is this a worry? DD is 7 and has started flapping her hands when she’s excited. She often combines this with running and jumping, sometimes makes a bit of noise too although this has been going on for longer, at least the last two or three years. She also seems to do it when she comes out of school, as if to burn off the excess energy that she’s been holding on to at school. No other signs of ASD that I’m aware of and school haven’t mentioned anything. Should I be worried?

Its a disability and a huge spectrum minimising it helps no one.
My own child is severly impacted and its certainley not a walk in the park

For the record I haven’t said I’d be embarrassed to have an autistic child. I said I found it embarrassing when she flapped in public. I would love her and support her just the same if she was or wasn’t, but I can’t pretend that I enjoy that element of her behaviour

Monster is a perfect term. Educate yourself OP.

There is nothing "wrong" with my Autistic children, thanks. They may have a different neuro-type to you but that does not make them less and your views on Autism and the language you use are quite outdated. I totally accept that you don't mean to offend, but some people have clearly been offended by the language you've chosen, so maybe instead of doubling-down on it you could consider listening to them and educating yourself.

Wow. Just wow. Great to have found such a community of understanding supportive people who realise that we all think things that we aren’t proud of at times. I’ll go and educate myself on how not to be a monster by embracing all the potential difficulties my child may face in her future

Probably best.

Bye!

Yes. Do that.

Yes life can often be a struggle for autistic people and some will struggle more than others.

Stimming is a coping mechanism so the fact she is doing it is a good sign she’s found her own way of managing her sensory needs.

There are other ways which will mean she doesn’t need to flap because she can meet them regularly rather than the energy building up (for want of a better explanation).

Have a look at sensory processing disorder. You may find something there that resonates with you and ideas of daily activities she can do to help her meet her sensory needs.

But autistic people and many people without autism will often have their own stims as such.

Im NT and bite my nails. I’ve always done it. Since my mum was ill and then died I started pulling my eye brows out. It’s a coping mechanism and we all do it to some degree.

You can’t help her not to stun but you can help her to meet her needs more fine so she doesn’t need to stim with big behaviours. But be aware it may not be something she stops completely. She may just change the environment where she does it.

And people shouldn’t judge her for doing it. She does it because it helps her feel calm and centered.

How can you expect a community of understanding people with what you have written? Were you looking for sympathy because your Daughter flaps her hands when excited and that EMBARRASSES you? I hope for your daughter’s sake she isn’t ND.

Really uncommon for girls to be totally off the radar for an autism diagnosis. Until they hit puberty/secondary school age, then suddenly social relationships etc. All become so much more complex and they can't mask any more.

The amount of conversations I've had with adult females lately about their pre teen daughters likely being autistic and they utter the words "she's just like i was at that age" and then penny drops...!

To anyone I’ve offended with anything I’ve said, I’m genuinely sorry as it was not my intention. I’m just a worried mother scared for her child’s future. If my words are not PC enough I apologize. All I wanted from this thread was some advice so thanks for those of you who have offered your support and input

DD1 did this around that age - diagosed with inattentive adhd at 19 via uni services. She did go though diagnosis process for ASD - they said no to that.

As teen she took up sewing - seemed to stop a lot of the excess hand waving with than.

My nephew did the hand flapping thing. He is 18 now - I still see him do it very occasionally if he is playing a computer game😊.He isn’t autistic and has no other traits.

My best friends son is autistic - one year older. He has never hand flapped. Both young men are super stars. Doing well academically and both are royal pains in the arse - the teenager in strong in them😂.

I think you’re being a touch neurotic. You’ve stated that your dd has no other signs of autism so she’s obviously not autistic. Why would you be worrying about her future?

Hand flapping does not equal autism. My eldest has autism. He can’t mask, he is autistic 24/7 and it’s obvious to anyone. My youngest hand-flaps. She does not have autism. If she did I’d have known about it long before now. It’s not a condition that suddenly turns itself on at the age of 7. Please stop worrying.

OP this is a great time to educate yourself. Your language is extremely offensive and inaccurate. We have much more information and knowledge now to know better.

The official diagnosis is being reviewed with a view to moving to Autism Spectrum Condition rather than Disability.
The spectrum is not a line, it’s a circle of which people have different traits to a lesser or greater extent. Stimming is very common in autistic people and often helps someone regulate or self soothe.
No one can diagnose your child but whether your child is autistic or not, it would be good for you to do some research and learn a bit more.

Looking around the playground at pick up, you see all sorts of behaviours. My own child stomps out and barely acknowledges me. I see others running and hugging their mums. Others skipping along. Others may be in tears. Some are demanding snacks. Some are having a meltdown. Nobody will be judging your child or you if she comes out hand flapping.

This is an upsetting thread to read on so many levels . You were clumsy in your words OP but I can put it down to the fact you were trying to be honest. But equally that doesn’t excuse some of the nastiness on this thread in response

If she is 7 and there are no other concerns, why would you worry? I would not (all my DC have autism).

Maybe. But op doubled down on her position even when people had pointed out her clumsiness and then apologised for not being pc enough in her language, rather that for her cruel ignorance.

I just didn’t know as a standalone thing, how much significance it would have in diagnosis

Having autism doesn't mean there is something 'wrong' with the person. Educate yourself!

Am I not allowed to defend myself? I said in my post that I already felt terrible for feeling the way I do. I’ve said repeatedly I was not trying to be offensive. But my intentions for this post have been misinterpreted, hijacked and vilified. I accept my language was somewhat clumsy but not through prejudice or unkindness. I have nothing against autistic people. I still do not want to have an autistic child, simply because I worry about what impact it could have on her life.

I think it's pretty clear that you posted hoping for reassurance that your child is "normal" (to use your phrasing") and you seem to feel you've got that, so mission accomplished. I'm genuinely surprised that anyone would think hand-flapping alone could result in an Autism diagnosis, but there you go. Hopefully you'll feel less "embarrassed" by your DD flapping now you've been reassured it's not necessarily an Autistic trait. Autistic or not, all children should feel free to be themselves.