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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have turned my car engine off...

34 replies

TheFenceGaveMeSplinters · 23/04/2025 14:35

...and refused to reverse back (onto a roundabout) when someone tried to force their way up the road when I was coming down and the obstruction was on their side?

The roads near me are shit. They are main roads but they are not big enough for cars to be parked on one side and for traffic to flow both ways easily.

One particular road leads up to a mini-roundabout. The mini roundabout has three exits: Mine which I took today, another which connects to a road that least to the High Street, and schools, and the other to the station.

One side of this road that I have to go down is always full of parked cars and the only gaps are where people's driveways are. It causes absolute chaos in rush hour.

This particular bit of the road is about 0.2 miles long and in rush hour it can take 30 minutes to get down it. Cars regularly try and force their way up the hill (which is the side the parked cars are on). The road is not wide enough for them to do this and for oncoming traffic to be able to get down the road. This often means the queues go back over the roundabout because people cannot get down the road because it is also on a bend (so you cannot see these wankers are obstructing until you are on the roundabout) and it brings everything to a halt.

Today, I turned onto the road and there was nothing there so I started driving down😯A car drove out of a driveway and began to drive up the hill. There were several spaces they should have pulled into (given the obstruction was on their side as were the passing spaces) or they even could have pulled back into their driveway, but they kept coming up. There was nowhere for me to go. The curb on the left hand side does not exist. Instead, it is a metal barrier behind which is a sharp drop. Another car had already come around the roundabout behind me.

They ground to a halt - close enough it set off my front-parking sensors (I had already stopped). And then gesticulated and swore at me. I just shook my head and made it clear I would not be reversing back onto a roundabout which would have been my only option given how close the parked cars go to the roundabout. They swore and gesticulated a bit more. I just shrugged, turned my engine off and waited them out.

In the end they admitted defeat and reversed back, as did the cars behind them that had tried to force their way up, and I drove past.

DSis (cringing in the front seat the whole time) thinks I was unreasonable and should have reversed onto the roundabout. I think not. Only an idiot reverses onto a roundabout, surely?!

Diagram attached. Needless to say, I am more Picasso than Monet.

To have turned my car engine off...
OP posts:
Zimunya · 23/04/2025 14:38

Love the diagram!

Seems to me that you were correct - a/ you had right of way and b/ it's very dangerous to reverse on to a roundabout.

Sorry you were yelled at.

lljkk · 23/04/2025 14:39

sounds yWnbu to me

KrisAkabusi · 23/04/2025 14:58

Is your diagram accurate? You made 13 cars reverse? It must have been chaos!

GroupDiscountOnTheBusToHell · 23/04/2025 15:05

There’s a road exactly like this near us. So fed up of the arseholes forcing us to wait on our clear side when they refuse to pull in in between parked cars, even though I got there first.
I’ve also been coming from the parked up side, have dutifully pulled in, and had a dick in a big white van overtake me. He kept going whilst the car on the free side was also coming, meaning the other car came down the middle and WVM drove over a pavement. It’s always a bloody man isn’t it? So impatient!
Good on you op.

Starlight1984 · 23/04/2025 15:13

KrisAkabusi · 23/04/2025 14:58

Is your diagram accurate? You made 13 cars reverse? It must have been chaos!

Yeah this. There's a road like this near me too and it's massively frustrating but 12-13 cars ALL decided to start coming towards you around the parked cars?! Seems unusual... It's usually 2 - 3 max before one realises they have to give way as otherwise everyone is getting stuck...

Littlebeausheepish · 23/04/2025 15:15

Love the diagram! You are NBU

TheAmusedQuail · 23/04/2025 15:16

I'm betting the other car was a taxi. They think they own the road.

TheFenceGaveMeSplinters · 23/04/2025 15:46

KrisAkabusi · 23/04/2025 14:58

Is your diagram accurate? You made 13 cars reverse? It must have been chaos!

Oh god no. There were like five. I just got a bit carried away with my circles.

The problem is, they see one arsehole force their way up...and so they try and do the same, to force those coming the other way to reverse back. And then, if you do, the ones coming up after put their foot down and you end up in the same situation again - stuck there whilst they try and force their way up.

OP posts:
youcannaecallherfanny · 23/04/2025 15:51

This pretty much exact thing happened to me a few weeks ago and i stupidly reversed even though it wasn’t my fault, obstruction on arsehole man’s side, would have been easier for him to reverse. I was so angry at myself for days after, for giving in to a bullying man. Now I’m definitely doing what you did, not moving. You were definitely not unreasonable.

ohtowinthelottery · 23/04/2025 15:54

I once refused to back up (a significant distance) for someone (a man driving an audi) who was overtaking parked cars and would only have had to back up 2 cars length, I just sat there playing Mexican stand off. The other driver eventually drove forward and made contact with my car, yelling at me to get out of his way! In spite of being a lone female on a dark night, I stayed put. He eventually backed up.
Unfortunately I either got his number plate slightly wrong or he had a false plate and i didnt have a dash cam, so the Police couldn't do anything. There are some nutters on the road.

doodleschnoodle · 23/04/2025 16:10

Well you can’t reverse onto an active and busy roundabout, that’s incredibly dangerous, so there wasn’t much else to be done. I applaud the bollocks on ye!

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 23/04/2025 16:31

There is no such thing as right of way. As to who should give way it is dependant on who has started the manouvre

Condensedmilkdrinker · 23/04/2025 16:33

What a dick. Well done for standing your ground OP!

leannetta · 23/04/2025 16:39

Well done! The only thing you were being unreasonable about, was not getting a newspaper out and a flask of coffee… 😊

BoredZelda · 23/04/2025 16:43

KrisAkabusi · 23/04/2025 14:58

Is your diagram accurate? You made 13 cars reverse? It must have been chaos!

No, the driver who came up the road seeing an obstruction ahead made them reverse.

@TheFenceGaveMeSplintersmy dad always advised me to keep a newspaper in the car and bring it out for this eventuality. Engine off, newspaper up, they soon get the message.

Reversing onto a roundabout is madness.

It does sound like a difficult bit of road all round. It needs double yellows.

NetballHoop · 23/04/2025 16:44

While you were NBA, do please be careful. People get irrationally angry in cars and can get violent.

BoredZelda · 23/04/2025 16:54

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 23/04/2025 16:31

There is no such thing as right of way. As to who should give way it is dependant on who has started the manouvre

That’s one tiny part of the whole scenario.

According to the Highway Code, you have priority if the cars are on the opposite side of the road. Priority only passes to the other vehicle if they are committed to their manoeuvre and you aren’t. If both drivers are committed, then the reversing should be done by the one who will be least inconvenienced. The Highway Code is clear that you should only reverse when you can see it is safe to do so. Reversing onto a roundabout is unsafe. In this scenario, it is clear OP was committed first, as the other driver had the opportunity to pull in and didn’t. But even if you want to say they were both committed, her reversion manoeuvre was unsafe and therefore he should have reversed.

BoredZelda · 23/04/2025 16:55

NetballHoop · 23/04/2025 16:44

While you were NBA, do please be careful. People get irrationally angry in cars and can get violent.

In Chichester case, she would have just reversed out of his way.

TheFenceGaveMeSplinters · 23/04/2025 17:10

BoredZelda · 23/04/2025 16:43

No, the driver who came up the road seeing an obstruction ahead made them reverse.

@TheFenceGaveMeSplintersmy dad always advised me to keep a newspaper in the car and bring it out for this eventuality. Engine off, newspaper up, they soon get the message.

Reversing onto a roundabout is madness.

It does sound like a difficult bit of road all round. It needs double yellows.

It really does!

It's all made worse by road-works on the way to the station and at the far end of the high-street. So everyone is very stressed and very impatient. Except me. I didn't have a coffee or a newspaper, but I did have the next best thing: DSis going 'oh my god, just reverse! No! Turn your engine back on! What is wrong with you. I'm never getting in your car again,' all whilst she slowly sunk lower and lower in the seat until she became one with the footwell.

OP posts:
Velmy · 23/04/2025 17:16

No opinion on this as a non-driver, just came to say great diagram OP 👍

kissmyfatass · 23/04/2025 17:46

You are my hero

Mauro711 · 23/04/2025 17:57

Love that you used your common sense and didn’t attempt reversing into a bloody roundabout. Your sister should be proud not hiding in the footwell.

DdraigGoch · 23/04/2025 18:09

NetballHoop · 23/04/2025 16:44

While you were NBA, do please be careful. People get irrationally angry in cars and can get violent.

Indeed, Disney did a very accurate depiction of carbrain:

WonderingWanda · 23/04/2025 18:16

I've had arseholes do this to me on similar roads before. I too have been known to engage the handbreak and refuse to move. My favourite time was when said arsehole was so enraged he was about to get out of his car but then a bus pulled up behind me....clearly he was going to get out and put me in my place but was no match for the bus driver!

ErrolTheDragon · 23/04/2025 18:25

TheFenceGaveMeSplinters · 23/04/2025 17:10

It really does!

It's all made worse by road-works on the way to the station and at the far end of the high-street. So everyone is very stressed and very impatient. Except me. I didn't have a coffee or a newspaper, but I did have the next best thing: DSis going 'oh my god, just reverse! No! Turn your engine back on! What is wrong with you. I'm never getting in your car again,' all whilst she slowly sunk lower and lower in the seat until she became one with the footwell.

A relative of mine was once in a stand-off with a car while he was driving a tractor pulling a trailer. Car driver didn’t want to do a simple reverse. Relative calmly got out his sandwiches…