To be mad at my MIL for interrupting breastfeeding session

[DasMama]

I’m married with a 6 month baby. My family lives abroad and we go visit my in laws once a week. My MIL is noisy and wants to be with baby all the time when we visit to the point that yesterday when I was breastfeeding baby and she was about to fall asleep she kept on talking to her, then even took her hand off my hand so that she would wrap her own finger (my MIL’s). I really wanted to tell her off but didn’t do it out of respect for my husband. AIBU to find this almost violent and a violation of a precious mum-baby moment?

It's annoying but it's not violent.
I used to go and sit somewhere quiet to bf when we had a house full so baby wasn't disturbed

I’d visit her less. If you don’t feel you could discuss this with your husband, then that’s a concern.

Your baby is six months old: I suspect most people assume you’re well past seeing feeding it as a precious moment. It might be annoying if you aren’t particularly fond of your in laws, but it’s not violent or a violation: women have pushed hard for breastfeeding to be seen as a perfectly normal activity suitable for doing in public, the idea that it’s somehow such a violation to interrupt it is the antithesis of that.

‘Violent and a violation ‘ is total hyperbole

midly irritating at most.

Keeping her awake when you are trying to get her down for a nap is a separate issue.

I'd visit less - once every two weeks. Husband can take the baby round on the other weekends for a couple of hours if he wants to. Gives you a bit of space and takes away the 'competition' between you and MIL for baby's attention.

Irritating maybe but that’s very dramatic language. And on balance I’d rather have a MIL who loved and wanted to be involved GC.

You are over thinking but underreacting. It isn't some massive violation, but it would be worth quietly saying, "the baby is going to sleep. Please don't disturb her."

She's annoying, interfering and needs to back off, but she's not violent.

When you next go to your Mil's, take a door wedge with you. When you want to bf, retreat to your bedroom, wedge the door firmly, and feed little one in peace. Your MIL will soon get the idea. 🙂

Violent? Violation?

noooooooo no no no no

irritating, yes.

you don't need to 'tell her off'

Just ask her not to do it.

She moved your hand off your own baby?! Sorry that would make me so angry. You need to put some boundaries in place and be more assertive, it takes a while to learn after you've given birth especially if you were a people pleaser before. I would go and breastfeed separately for now or physically get up and put space between you.

Just go round less, and ask her to not touch the baby while you are feeding her.

This completely.

violent and a violation of a precious mum-baby moment?

Dramatic much?

Irritating yes, just move away or tell her she’s going to sleep so please don’t wake her.

She was annoying hardly the extreme language your using.

You could have used your words and told her to stop.

It's intrusive, but really not violating.

You should ask her not to distract the baby while you're fedding her. If she won't accept that, perfectly reasonable to go home on the grounds that baby isn't settling, so you're bringing her home for her nap.

It’s not a violation of anything OP, the woman is just OTT.

You just have to stand up for yourself and say ‘MIL will you be quiet please, I want her to fall asleep / don’t touch her now, I want her to fall asleep’. Also visit less often if that’s better for you.

I don’t know why you think respecting your husbands family means having no boundaries - it doesn’t not, it just means be polite. Letting people push you around isn’t being polite it’s being a doormat (and that’s a bad example to your daughter).

If this sort of thing is happening once a week I really think you should suck it up and be glad your MiL is enamoured with her DGC.

If your weekly visit isn’t the only time it’s happening, find a way to kindly assert some boundaries while giving your MiL plenty of time with her DGC.

The violent/violation language is, as pp said, hyperbolic and letting yourself label it as such is not going to be good for your relationship with your MiL or your mental health generally. Deep breaths, remind yourself it’s a DGM who loves your DC and you are going home in a few hours. Let it wash over you.

Are you usually quite dramatic?

"Can you give us some space please MIL?"

AIBU to find this almost violent
yes. Very much so.

Violent? No. A violation? Probably. I wouldn’t want my MIL getting up close and personal while I’m breastfeeding my baby either. Very irritating - tell DH to have a word.

This. My own MIL did exactly the same with my finger, but when DC was a couple of months old. I did say something at the time - it's really irritating.

YABU not to speak up

She sounds overbearing, not violent though