Is leaving baby acceptable

[Itsoneofthose]

Seeking general opinion here- is it deemed ‘acceptable’ or even perfectly fine to leave your baby with their father or grandmother from a young age such as six weeks old? Say an hour here or there to go to the shops for example? A night to see friends ie 4-5 hours approx once a fortnight ? Or is it privately a bit frowned upon? It’s 2025, and I know what I imagine the general consensus ought to be, but what REALLY is expected? I can’t gauge it.
YABU- leaving baby for any length of time is it on, and really Mother’s should be there permanently.
YANBU- leaving occasionally is fine and healthy.

It's completely fine. Enjoy yourself.

I left mine with my mum for a few hours when he was 6 weeks old. Me and DH, went out for dinner for my 30th.

It’s 100% fine as long as you’re comfortable with it.
I left my babies from a very young age (DS1 at 3 weeks for a hair appointment, DS2 5 weeks for a photo shoot, was nursing both).

there is no “you are/are not being unreasonable” - it’s nobody else’s business and the only thing that matters is how comfortable you are leaving them.

It is a shame you are even asking this question. Few fathers would

Absolutely fine of course.

Whatever the mum is happy with.

Stuff anyone else's opinion

Why on earth would you question leaving the baby with their Dad. He's a patent too ofcourse he can look after his child

You can judge best. You know the baby and the person you are leaving it with.

If your comfortable being away from your baby then ofcourse it's OK and can be extremely beneficial to your mh.
Some mums won't want to leave their baby at a younger age which is OK aswell.
Basically it all depends on how you feel, but whatever you do or don't do some arsehole will judge you for it and tell you that you're wrong

Yes, my DH would take over for me to have a nap or an hour to myself. It’s important that baby bonds with their father and grandparents.

Of course it is.

I happily left all of my babies with their grandparents for a few hours from about 8 weeks old. It was so nice to go get a haircut, or see the dental hygienist, have lunch with workmates, that kind of thing. If people didn't like it or looked askance I never knew, too oblivious.

I think DD was about 5 days old when I first left her home with her dad while I went to a coffee shop for an hour. She was with her dad who loves her and is perfectly capable and willing to care for her. Someone probably would have had an opinion on it that differed from mine and DH’s but you can’t agree with everyone and their opinions really didn’t matter in this scenario.

It’s completely fine. My three kids were breastfed and I was still able to leave them after 4 weeks or so. By 6 months or so I was going away for a night.

You’ll get different answers on the stuff over an hour depending on how people feed.

Boob fed for some isn’t compatible with leaving for more than a short period.

Of course it’s fine. Why would it not be?

Have you had your baby yet?

You can pump

My baby was in the neonatal unit for 12 weeks so I left him every single night. We survived! (He's now 8 and I still haven't left him more than 2 days now, unless I'm in hospital).

Thanks for all replies mumsnetters. Had some momentary doubts for some reason. Irrational mum-guilt or something.

I wouldn't, no. It's very young to be regularly separated from the main caregiver. An hour to the shops here and there fine, but not fortnightly nights out.

Baby might suffer distress being separated from Mum. If nights out were very important to Mum, then consider it from around 6-12mths old.

I agree with everyone saying it's fine. It really is.

I do get why you might have doubts because I have met people who do NOT seem to think it is fine. Obviously every mum should do what she is comfortable with but wow, some are so judgemental. Unfortunately I think putting up with this and learning to ignore or challenge it without letting it get to you and make you doubt yourself seems to be part and parcel of motherhood (grrrr).

I enjoyed getting out without DD from weeks 1-12, an hour every 3rd week for a nail apt and the occasional dinner with friends. Left her to spend 1-1 time with my husband. Didn’t get the impression from anyone that this was at all frowned upon. However, from week 12 onwards I found DD much more unwilling to be left. She was BF and started bottle refusal from this point.

You’ve to do whatever works best for you and your family.

No, its good to have a break when baby is so young and needs so much of your time and attention.
I was going to the gym for an hour here and there, or food shopping and grandma and grandad would happily watch him for a little while.
You can get more things done in less time on your own in those early days and its good for your sanity when most of your days and nights are taken up by baby. It was a really big help to me.
My own mum was pretty rubbish with helping out but MIL was great and had him a lot and it was really appreciated back then.

Hour here and there - of course fine! Dad is the other parent!

also fine to do fortnightly - only thing is that if you are breastfeeding your breasts might be uncomfortable if you don’t pump - and of course baby needs to be able to take a bottle. I couldn’t pump easily and baby hated the bottle so I did struggle with my first for a while because of this - still went out but wasn’t ideal.

but nothing to do with mum guilt - just logistics and what works for you.