To not want to help IL’s anymore?

[happyeasterevwryone]

IL’s were selling a house and promised me first priority as they know I wanted a BTL property.

We used to have a good relationship even though I felt as if it was a bit one sided with me helping them out all the time and never really getting any appreciation, FIL especially has a sarcastic and nasty streak.

FIL has a habit of treating the people who help him like MIL, myself and his son badly but the people who don’t bother with him like his eldest son he treats them very well and bends over backwards for (hence why I don’t have much to do with him anymore).

Anyway I was paying the full price on the house and it was agreed I purchase it at the full market value.

Next thing the son they have not anything to do with for 15 years is getting divorced and is purchasing it at half the market price.

I couldn’t believe it.

The oldest son is extremely selfish, cold and self centred and is just a user, me, DH and MIL can’t stand him actually.

Its like they never even told me that they were pulling out, I had to find out from DH.
I am quite upset about it all to be honest and I have told DH I wash my hands of them and for them not to keep asking me for help anymore.

AIBU?

They showed you who they are and what they think of you. They prioritised and favoured their (other) son and didn't have the courtesy to even let you know.

Interesting that they now realise their son is as dysfunctional and self-serving as they are. But you and DH are now perfectly placed to say "Other son will help you, now he's so close" every time they ask for help.

In your shoes I'd actually mute them and stay out of touch for a few months then reassess how you feel when you are ready. You owe them nothing.

It’s good to remember that no one can “make” you feel anything. They are your feelings. Stay strong!

Oh dear, they’ve really shot themselves in the foot haven’t they!

No more help for them and don’t feel bad.

Basically the son was living in the house and it they kept telling me as soon as he moved out we woopd
proceed with the sale.

I found out that during this time the house was sold to him.

It’s just unfortunate as the house in question is next door to us, so now he is our neighbour as well.

We wanted to rent it out for a bit until we saved enough to possibly make it into one property.

The house was originally PIL’s property until they decided to split it into 2 houses and build their dream home a few doors down.

Its just a very sticky situation as DH was initially told that the house would be as part of his inheritance considering he has spent all his adult life helping them etc and when they mentioned it selling I said I would buy it as currently I am in a more better financial situation to do so.

His parents are using dregs.
Mute the lot of them.
Don't allow any of them across your door again and consider moving house as distance needs to be put between these awful people and your family.

You have my sympathy OP.
Toughen up majorly or they will use you till they die.

@happyeasterevwryone you both need to drop anchor here, now!! outlaws are taking the piss. they are still going to expect you to provide care even though they have treated you both like shit!!

Well now The Golden Child can wipe their arses.. Back away..

But the ops dh is also their son, who would be making money on the btl.

I can't blame them for offering the son a discount, but
A) you should have had the same discount as it benefits their family too
B) fil should have spoken to you first

Do you really like your house and its location? Because I’d think about moving, obviously I mean moving further away from pil and bil.

Perhaps they thought you were buying it as a married couple and keeping it in the family but you actually for some reason wanted to keep the purchase separate from your husband

YANBU OP

And if they had sold to OP at market price, as she was willing to pay, they would have had more to give to the wastrel brother (not that I'd recommend throwing good money after bad, but they don't sound too bright.)

I hadn't even thought of that..neither did they!!! Which would have been less of a f you to the op I suppose

It’s a truism but you can’t cure stupid.

I think much more than the house issue is FIL awful attitude.
That above all else is why OP should be walking away from them.