To say the behaviour crisis in schools can't just be blamed on parenting

[Sendcrisis2025]

I speak as a mum of two children with EHCPs and someone who is a SENDIASS officer, name changed to protect my identity/job.

There is a strong rhetoric from the teaching unions this week about behaviour in schools and poor parenting. No mention of the bigger picture, just poor parenting.

My DC are 10 and 8, just two years behind them. When DC1 was a toddler there was a huge range of groups, support, targeted interventions through the local sure start centre. These were already being cut by the time my DC2 was a toddler. Then covid happened and the services and groups have just not returned. There is no early support anymore.

One of my DC is a challenge in school, fortuantly she is predominantly a flight risk rather than violent but still a behavioural challenge. We have had one physical incident where she shoved a teacher. Pure combination of factors that had led to DC being enclosed within a corner by several children and with nowhere to escape to she shoved to escape. Unacceptable but that was the reasoning of why and she was suspended for two days etc. She struggles to cope with the sensory demands of mainstream. Too many children, too much going on. They fly through the content whereas she likes to master things in depth before moving on. Too many low level behavioural issues like children who just don't ever stop talking. She can't navigate social dynamics. None of this DC can cope with. There is a lack of consistency in the school day and the routines. None of this is the school's fault but realistically how it is in every mainstream school. We are struggling to get her moved to a specialist setting. She has no learning needs and generally with the one exception, she isnt violent so the SEMH schools are not appropriate either.

My other DC would never dream of acting out, is not a behavioural issue at all despite his needs.

Based on the unions DC is entirely due to my poor parenting. It doesnt matter that DC2 is a behavioural dream. It doesnt matter that I have no behavioural issues with DC1 at home where it is quiet, the same rigid routine for the past 6 years and less social demands. It doesnt matter that she is in a completely wrong setting.

In my LA there are over 400 children like my DC1 who have specialist agreed but are stuck in mainstream with no setting to go to. There is nowhere for them to go. These are the children with specialist agreed by the LA. This doesn't include the many hundreds more who don't have specialist agreed or don't even have EHCPs yet.

Our health trust is on 3+ years for an initial appointment. CAMHs are almost non-existent. You are only considered for medication if you are already a behavioural problem in school, it doesn't matter if a child has severe ADHD until they are at the point they can no longer cope and it is at crisis point.

Early help, if accepted, offers 6 weeks of support. There is a huge gap between early help and child in need.

I speak to parents day in day out at work who are desperate for help as their children can not cope at school.

There will always be poorly behaved children due to poor parents but the majority? The majority are children who simply cannot cope in the setting they are in with nowhere to go to.

Over 400 children in my LA with specialist agreed but stuck in mainstream. That is an incredible number.

I know my DC spends 8.45am-2pm in a small cupboard with a 1-1 TA. She joins a much younger year group for the last hour a day. She does 95% of her schoolwork with me at home.

It was never designed for a million children.

On the contrary, the official government statistics from January 2014 (so just before the reforms) show 1.49 million pupils had SEN. Down from 1.55 million in 2013. And the official government statistics from January 2015 (so just after the reforms) show 1.3 million pupils had SEN.

ETA: When I say after the reforms, I mean after the change in legislation, etc. The transition from Statements of SEN to EHCPs was still in progress.

I agree that the one size should fit all approach in education was exclusive and problematic.

But it also can't realistically be a bespoke service.

Imagine you are a child aged five. You get whisked off to a remote village in China. You don’t have any of your electronic devices to communicate with family and friends at home. You go to school, where you can’t understand the language, nobody can understand you and you can’t understand the written language. It’s clear to you the society has rules, you can’t understand and bad consequences can happen to you, at random as far as you know?

How would you feel? Disoriented, lost and homesick - but you are an adult? How much worse would it be for a child, without an adult’s cognitive abilities and experience.

Or, you had to spend all day at a rave. It’s hot, dark and there’s loud music with flashing lights. You are thirsty. You have to shout to make yourself heard, and even then, you can’t understand other people’s shouting, because the music is so loud. How would you feel at the end of the day? Frazzled?

Yet, you are expecting parents of children with say language disorder or autism to tell their children, they have to go through that for 6 hours a day, 5 days a week in term time for the next 13 years, and say to DC

You need to put up, shut up and behave!”

It’s totally unrealistic and completely lacking in empathy - talk about poor parenting! That’s poor parenting right there!

The best place to start dealing with SEN in the education is proper assessment and identification for children; because educational psychologists and speech and language therapists use comprehensive standardised tests to look at IQ, memory, processing, literacy, numeracy, comprehension and expression of language - not some airy fairy discussion about screens!

My friends and I, with children with severe SEN, used to go to soft play, the park, etc in the school holidays and we’d see children, just like our own. We’d get talking to their Mum, and find she’d been running around in circles for years like a headless chicken, because she didn’t know how to play the SEN game. It’s like a special game of Poker and nobody has told her the rules!

We don’t look at our car and decide it’s passed its MOT!

I think you are muddling up statistics a bit.

In 2010 there was over a million children identified as sen. The SEND code of practice came in in 2014 so they were clearly aware that a million children would come under it.

The number of statements was about half the number of ehcps we have now which is what I assume you mean? (and it's not a million ehcps now)

So ehcps have increased (partly because they now go up to 25) but it's partly an austerity thing. I keep saying this because it's true, but when I started in education you could access services like SaLT or OT without an ehcp, but now they only do 'statutory work' as they call it. So if you think a child needs it your forced into applying for an ehcp. I work in a school where we literally have pupils we could have supported even 5 years ago, where we are now starting ehcp applications as there's no other way to get people like EPs to come in and give some advice.

I've no doubt there is also some increased parental awareness and some people able to navigate the law in thier favour. But it's not all that.

So ehcps have increased (partly because they now go up to 25) but it's partly an austerity thing.

I completely agree, @Frowningprovidence. As well as outside agencies, other examples are things like fewer general class TAs, provision for those unable to attend school less forthcoming from LAs, more needing to go down the EHCP route earlier for those below compulsory school age in order to get enough support in nursery.

Completely agree - Pandora's out of the box and everyone has special needs, it's just not a sustainable position but individuals won't accept this and do their bit - e.g support their own children by being present and engaged, not expecting the schools to be the substitute.

The UK population also increased by 4.4m over the period 2014-2024, around 7%, so you'd expect numbers of children with SEN (as defined in 2014) to increase, even without any other factors changing.

Ah, but does that "something" significantly impact your daily life and that of your family and generally those around you? That´s where the difference lies. Those of us who only have somethings that don´t have a significant impact can afford to be blazé about psychiatric and mental health issues, can´t we?

Possibly.

But I know more than a few people including children whose 'mental health issues' apply exclusively to things that they don't want to do.

Like not being able to go to school because of how loud and overstimulating it with noise and artificial lighting but can be a part of youth theatre taking centre stage in productions.

Not being able to go to school because of crowded corridors in between lessons but can go to highly crowded music festivals.

Can't go to school because of speech and language and sensory difficulties but can get a part-time job in a cafe where they wait on tables and love it.

Can't go to school because of social anxiety but says they really, really wants to be in education but when hoops are jumped through to get hospital education at home I.e 1:1 at home tuition, won't get out of bed but get up later to go out with their friends.

Baroness Warnock wrote in her 1978 report that 20% of children have SEN.

Here are the figures for January 2024:

https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/sn07020/#:~:text=How%20many%20school%20pupils%20have,%2C%20Health%2C%20and%20Care%20plans.

About 18% of children have SEN. That’s hardly everybody?

The number of EHCPs has risen, partly because the 2014 Children and Families Act gave children with the SEN the right to an education beyond age 16, up to age 25, although there was no corresponding uplift in funding. That is part of the reason why LAs are in deficit over SEN spending.

1 in 5 is a lot of people - too many to expect individualised approaches for, money isn't limitless. You'll always find an article that demonstrates a point, it doesn't make it right.

With my professional hat on someone else hit the nail on the head with the system.

There no longer is any provision for those with lower level needs. Everything is only accessible once a child is at crisis point.

Our local SALT service have "solved" their major shortage of therapists issue by getting schools to do more before a child is eligible for therapy.

Our local CAMHs have solved theirs by... getting schools to do more.

Social care ask schools to monitor children. Early help is now predominantly those who historically would have been child in need, even child protection. Actual early help now doesn't exist.

Outreach services to help schools troubleshoot behaviour here are only available for those with EHCPs.

There is a current big movement by LAs to take "ordinarily available provison" out of EHCPs, it is the current focus accross several LAs. What it means is that a child might need the entire breadth of OAP, which we all know they can't provide without the staffing or resources, and taking it out of plans as it is deemed OAP.

I see children with significant needs and EHCPs with 2 lines of provision in F.

Schools are drowning trying to support those with EHCPs and cover for all the other services. This means that those without EHCPs frankly don't get a look in.

My DC's class since year 1 has only had a TA if my daughter is in class. They can't use her for interventions as she needs to be available as and when my daughter leaves the room. It is not a case of my DC taking feom the rest of the class, my DC's school get £34k a year for her and that TA just wouldn't exist. So the class benefit from her as and when. My DC has had a social support intervention for years, this has meant the school has been able to put 2-3 other children in the support group with her and her TA to benefit from it too. It wouldn't exist if my DC wasn't there and since my DC has not been in class, none of them have been able to access it. Again, it is not taking from the class but is an advantage due to my DC having that TA and funding. It would not be there without her.

If we, as a society, supported those at SEN support level or even pre-SEN support level better then parents wouldn't seek EHCPs. Children wouldn't need EHCPs to get a basic level of support. Children would not be hitting crisis point which is far more expensive to fix.

If you say so. 3 children and not our experience.

This is a debate about behaviour though not SEND.

If teachers are saying their main concerns are
pupil behaviour
parental behaviour
workload

and if these issues aren’t addressed so it becomes increasingly more difficult to retain and recruit decent teachers what then?

without teachers you can wave as many EHCPs around as you like who will be there to teach them? Some schools will become babysitting facilities.

There are hundreds of other teenagers in secondary schools, you have 2 years to get through each GCSE syllabus. That is what we have right now.

Basic, non-disruptive behaviour is the bare minimum if we all want schooling to improve.

Parents have a huge influence on the success of a school, the whole school, there might be up to 20% of pupils with EHCPs but there is 80% who can be taught as things are.

Schools can only cater to the majority.

2 years to cover 9 GCSE subjects. It’s intense. So you need to support your school with your child’s behaviour to get through this with some semblance of enjoyment.

Although it sounds like some parents won’t be happy until all teachers are so ground down with bespoke specifications that we are all teaching our own kids GCSEs around the kitchen table!

Post-16 they don’t have to be in a formal school setting they can do what they like then.

At our youngster’s school a few parents wanted to get rid of streaming “because it made their children feel bad”
They very nicely got told, erm no.
How could you teach foundation and higher maths in the same class? How?

But this is the level of expectation now. It’s becoming impossible.

Who do you find it hard to not have sympathy for? The tax payer? The council tax payer?

There is only a finite amount of money.

You cannot separate behaviour and SEN, until all children with significant SEN have been identified.

Parents have a huge influence on the success of a school, the whole school, there might be up to 20% of pupils with EHCPs but there is 80% who can be taught as things are.

No, about 4.8% of children have EHCPs. The balance are on SEN support.

When DD1 was in Year 6, it was estimated 1 in 4 children were going upto secondary school without the reading age of 10, required to cope at secondary school. Given, funding in education has got worse; and there’s been Covid, I don’t believe things have got any better.

Yes, see this from 2022:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/now-the-whole-school-is-reading-supporting-struggling-readers-in-secondary-school/now-the-whole-school-is-reading-supporting-struggling-readers-in-secondary-school

It says one quarter of 11 year olds, do not meet the threshold for reading at functional literacy, to give them the knowledge and skills needed to manage the secondary curriculum.

I don’t consider 1 in 4 children in Y6, having such poor literacy that they’re unlikely to manage at secondary, an indication that 80% can continue as things are?

SEND at the current level it is currently is unsustainable in certain groups. I teach a top set class with 1 student with dyslexia and 1 with adhd. It's manageable and the behaviour of the student with adhd is rarely a problem as his profile works and I am juggling less. I have more time to check in with my dyslexic student. Now my mixed ability class has 1/3 of the class with an SEND profile. When I have about mult5 kids shouting out because of they can't help it and one having a meltdown because they're breaking the rules and another student kicking off because the lad behind him keeps kicking his chair, it's a whole different story. Then the mum of that child who was kicking the chair writes a seething email to the head saying you are making up lies and wants their detention removing, so they come into class the next day twice as painful, meanwhile my school refuser has come back after missing 8 lessons and has no idea what's going on but I can't help them because I'm dealing with someone else. It is a constant battle with some groups and I am one person.
These children can't help having send and the only way I can see them getting the support they need is with more staff but this requires more money.

Not all aggressive, homophobic, misogynistic, disruptive, disrespectful behaviour is SEN.

And there are levels of behaviour, SEN or no SEN, which is just dangerous for other adults and pupils.

Deal with that first.

Actually some Heads do, they protect their staff and teaching and pupils go into isolation. And the lessons can carry on. Because there isn’t time to dick about.

When the Head has to send a letter reminding parents that
“the consumption of highs, even legal ones, will not be tolerated on school premises”
or
“threatening to disrupt school events including sporting fixtures will result in you being banned from the premises”
or
“abuse towards admin staff will not be tolerated”

there was more!

you cannot say that parental behaviour is not a contributing factor.

SEN accommodation should not result in parents getting high in the car park!

Is that because teachers have to spend so much time dealing with behaviour in class that the pupils whose parents don’t give a monkeys don’t hep them?

We can all get our kids up to reading standard if need be.

To add to this. You’d think that parents would prioritise reading but no. I’ve never had so few children in my class at infant age who never read at home. As a school we have weekly reading lessons, reading integrated into every lesson. They read in a small group 3x a week and the bottom 20% more often than that. We set homework as reading and reward those that read at home.

However, it’s immediately obvious in the classroom those children who are heard read regularly at home and those that aren’t. So many parents don’t do it.

In DD1’s case, I am talking about this discussion at her transitional year 5 review in 2004 with the deputy head of speech therapy. I had read it either in the literature by Ican or The Royal College of Speech and Language Therapists. They were trying to talk to us about DD1 in mainstream secondary.

Behaviour in schools was not as bad then, as is talked about nowadays iirc.

This IS a discussion about special needs. The entire OP is about special needs; the lack of specialist places; the position of people like SENDIAS workers. Parents blamed for it all. It's right there in the OP!

There are many parents that don't see a problem with their child's behavior, usually because it reflects the parents poor behavior and they don't see that as a problem either. There are genuine cases of children with SEND that need help or have behavioral issues, these aren't the children the unions are talking about

I used to teach, some parents would label their children themselves with all sorts to excuse their behavior, they didn't see that their parenting was the issue. There are some really difficult parents out there, and i don't see it gettin any better any time soon.

So yes, parenting is an issue, but not of children with genuine needs.