Husband- is this normal a joke?

[Drainplug]

Been on holiday with DH- there was a plug in the bathroom- one of those push in ones (you don’t take out ) and you flick it to release the water.

Every day DH would take the plug out - no idea why?? It was filthy - unsure why he did this but he left it every day.

Any way last day of holiday I asked who was doing it. No one said who it was. (obviously DH, kids are too young)

Anyway- that night I went to bed- and DH had put it in my eye mask - the dirty plug in my eye mask I wear every night. I asked why and he said it was funny. And was a joke and I couldn’t take a joke-

is this funny?

I'd ask him what the funny bit was. Also I'd ask other people in front of him, as in "DH thinks putting one of those grotty plunger plugs in my eyemask was a funny joke but I'm not sure what's funny about it. Any ideas? Was it an in joke back in the day or something?"

He'll regret doing it pretty quickly :)

Awful. Inclined to agree, unfortunately. Not remotely funny. Accusing you of having no sense of humour over it is him feeling stupid/guilty. What an arsehole.
(I seem to be saying this a lot today).

I agree with this. Tell everyone and emphasise how weird you found it and how unfunny it was. If he moans about that, tell him it's a joke and he has no sense of humour. It is fucking weird, nobody will find it funny.

@Drainplug it's passive aggressive and definitely no joke 😢

This is weird and abusive. Even if we give him the benefit of the doubt and accept he has a strange sense of humour and genuinely thought you’d find it funny, he should’ve just apologised immediately once you’d expressed to him that you don’t like it.

People who play or make jokes like that on others, but then insist they must find it funny or they have no sense of humour, are usually deeply unpleasant and selfish.

Tbh it doesn’t sound as if he likes you, he is masking his dislike or contempt of you as a “joke”. Have you had any other issues in your marriage lately?

It's not abusive.

How so… my husband thinks the same

you are incorrect @MissJoGrant

it IS abusive @Drainplug DO NOT doubt yourself

What a twat. Is he 14?

It is abusive. Please focus on the vast majority of comments saying the same.

The whole “it was just a joke” act following doing something disgusting or offensive is a common method of gaslighting. He is minimising his poor behaviour and trying to act like you’re the problem.

elliementalhealth.com/how-to-identify-gaslighting-10-phrases-to-listen-for/

He should be apologetic and should buy you a new eye mask.

So he's either being really spiteful, or he's developed a neurological illness, or an acute mental health issue. I'm not being sarky I'm actually wondering if he's displayed any other bizarre behaviours recently? Because this is really off the wall weirdness.

I think it’s beyond unkind.
Putting someone’s eye health at risk is abusive.
Letting OP find it in her eye mask and then having a pop for her not finding it funny is gaslighting.
If you’ve ever had a horrible eye infection, once you get one they can be hard to fight off.
Your eyes are so precious. And I’m not being precious I’ve worked in eye care, and any ophthalmologist would go nuclear if a patient told them this. Sometimes we do open our eyes when asleep.
He is a sinister little shit.
I couldn’t let someone like that within a foot of me after that.

@PeggyMitchellsCameo it is BEYOND eye health (albeit, that is obviously important)

It's about the total disrespect of @Drainplug.

@Drainplug he has shown you who he is, be on your guard and assertive 🌼

He’s a psychopath OP.

Agree. It just jumped at me because I’ve had to learn so much about eye care.
Apart from that it’s abusive and sinister.

You married a man-child.

NO- she married a child!

F-ing grim. Id be beyond furious

People who say you can't take a joke are basically school bullies who never grew up. Put a dog shit in something he uses every day then act the same

People who say you can't take a joke are basically school bullies who never grew up. Put a dog shit in something he uses every day then act the same

Wouldn’t say that’s abuse at all that’s a bit extreme for you to say . Unkind and not funny yes for sure ….abuse No

It's deranged behaviour.... definitely abusive imo.

Like he's getting a kick out of it. Sick.

It's only funny if you are immature and hate the person you've done this to.

That's why he thinks it's funny, because he doesn't like you.