Stop wrapping things up!! (please!)

[ILoveDrivingYey]

I can't stand it when people wrap things up in a fluffy way to protect your feelings etc..

Examples:

1. Instead of 'why have you worn the same top every day this week to work?' I was asked "what do you think would be the reason why someone would choose to wear the same clothes each day?" (Externalising the problem, not making about me)

1. Instead of: 'can you make the reports longer please', I get something like 'I love the way you write. It's so eloquent. I'd love to see a bit more of it and for your reports to be longer. I just love how you end with thought through conclusions (the shit sandwich).

1. Instead of 'can you take Bobby to the match on saturday'. I get "Oh you're sooo kind. It's really nice of you to take X and Y to football every week. How sweet. Are they going to the match this saturday? Bobby would love to go. You r so lovely I expect you'll be going to support Z..hint hint hint". (The not saying what you want)

I could go on.

I just like blunt people.

I'm a hypocrite because I'm far from blunt myself! But I hate all this wrapping up people do. I don't know where I stand! Sometimes it's hard work to figure out what people actually mean or are actually getting at! Just say it as it is. If you want something, ask. If you don't like something I did, tell me. If you want to know why I do something weird, ask..

Is it just me that finds it really unnerving when people don't just come out and say what they think/want etc..

Grrrr...!!

And now we see why NL and Germany are such successful economies ! The way people pussyfoot around at work in the UK is embarrassing. People are paid to do a job and should absolutely be called out for taking the piss, as many do.

I think the shit sandwich is a useful way to deliver bad news. Most people aren’t as welcoming of brutal truth as you and even you might get a little weary of it if you got it every day.

But it seems the problem is with the person who you wrote the report for. They wanted the report to be longer not more detailed. They clearly like a lot of verbiage so you are never going to get a concise direct conversation from them

In my last role i had two in my team who were so incapable of being clear that important info and requests were missed a lot. They drove me INSANE. And when I asked them to be clear about what they needed one started communicating like a dictator. Total overcorrection. Funny in hindsight but maddening.

Think you could take your own advice, OP. A thread title along the lines of "be more blunt" would have made sense, rather than the vague wishy washy "stop wrapping things up" that led me to believe it was going to be a rant about wrapping paper..or maybe overpackaging, lol. I've never heard of "wrapping" being used metaphorically about people speaking indirectly.

You could just rephrase it back to them ' so are you saying you want me to write a onger report?' 'no problem' etc everytime they will get tge idea and be more direct.

I'm with you OP. You made me smile, at a family gathering recently we all had to describe each other with one word. The winning word to describe me was .. blunt.

Why rush? Some moments deserve to be stretched—like sinking into a recliner after a long day.
Or just lounging on the recliner sofa, letting time slow down.
Not everything needs to be wrapped up so fast—comfort takes its own sweet time.

It shows you are listening and aware of the social dynamics.. this is why people use tact. It can be cloying and OTT. A question of balance.

I know what you mean! I am German and live and work in the UK. Sometimes there is so much fluff that I can’t filter out the actual message. I usually just ask for clarification - you want the report to be longer?
I am trying to fluff up my bluntness a little, but there are limits to my ability to embellish simple requests.
I especially hate when coworkers ask for help, I offer to help and then they start a whole song and dance about how I should only help if it really is ok. It is exhausting.