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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you actually like or respect your manager?

83 replies

ThatSharpPombear · 17/04/2025 14:28

Because I don’t. At all.

Mine is full of it - constantly spinning things, avoiding accountability and making empty promises. I’ve tried to stay professional but I’m finding it harder to take her seriously and it’s affecting how I feel about my job overall. I’m already looking into new roles but just wondered how common is it to just not respect your manager?

AIBU to think it’s more normal than people admit?

OP posts:
NoFrillyStuff · 17/04/2025 15:11

I’ve only ever had one manager I didn’t like or respect. She was the kind of person who would put others down to make herself sound better and she’d take credit for work she hadn’t done. I saw right through her.

MonsterBookOfTyson · 17/04/2025 15:18

Yes and yes. We are nurses and she is brilliant. Very knowledgeable and fair.

crunchybiscuitandtea · 17/04/2025 15:18

No and No

  1. Out of their depth - Over promoted
  2. Either goes missing in action or micro manages
  3. Never reads their emails, then chases for things (see no 1!)
  4. When push came to shove was not supportive of their team as newly promoted and didn't want to rock their own personal boat! (see no: 1)

And this is why I am leaving

In previous roles have had bosses that I respected and who respected me that I would follow into battle if necessary.

SoSoLong · 17/04/2025 15:21

Yes, she's great. I'm changing line managers soon and the new one is also very good.

memoriesofamiga · 17/04/2025 15:24

On a personal level I like mine, she's the kind of person I would happily have a fun night in the pub with, but as a manager she's shocking.

I regularly sit in big meetings with her where she downright lies about virtually everything, or she talks about things she's never even mentioned to me (but because she lies about things I do know about, I've never sure if there's any truth in anything else she says either). She's an empire builder desperate to be a bigwig in the local community. Members of the team call her the seagull, she comes in, makes a racket, shits everywhere then flies off.

But she's hands off, which suits me more than the micromanagers I've had in other jobs.

SlagPit · 17/04/2025 15:27

Yes, I really do. He's unafraid to go out on a limb for his employees, and is very approachable. The last two were awful. One in particular was vicious but both enjoyed belittling their teams. Neither is a manager anymore, funnily enough.

When you've had a bad manager, you recognise and appreciate a good one.

Natsku · 17/04/2025 15:33

I do. I like everyone in my company, but it's a small close-knit company. My manager is great, supportive, always understanding about childcare issues and sickness and gave me a lift when my car was in the garage for maintenance.

Dotjones · 17/04/2025 15:36

Currently no, I neither like nor respect my manager.

Generally, the two things go hand in hand in my experience. I've had two managers I neither liked nor respected, two I've liked and respected, and one I neither liked nor disliked but slightly respected.

Basically, a manager you can respect is usually one you will like. I can't imagine ever respecting someone I disliked, it would make no sense - if I respect them, I should like them. I guess it's possible to like someone but not really respect them.

Hollowvoice · 17/04/2025 15:37

Yes and yes. Currently working with the best manager I've ever had, incredibly supportive, only steps in when needed and honestly I'm in awe of how she keeps everything running

Kneenightmare · 17/04/2025 15:47

I’ve worked with mine for ten years in two different organisations. She’s a great role model and I’ve learnt lots from her. We are opposites in a lot of ways, but work well together.

Jabtastic · 17/04/2025 15:53

I have huge respect and great warmth for my boss, who has done everything in her power to make work accessible for me with a progressive illness.

DappledThings · 17/04/2025 15:56

Yes and yes. She's very good at her job, easy to get on with, fights my corner when needed, lets me crack on with what I think I need to do. And funny!

northernballer · 17/04/2025 16:01

Like and respect mine but I see others in my organisation and I feel incredibly sorry for the people who they manage, there truly are some shockers out there! Witnessing them makes me stay in my current role even tho I could earn slightly more elsewhere as the thought of ending up with a manager like them makes me shudder!

Coconuthotchocolate · 17/04/2025 16:05

Yes and yes.

she is a nice woman and very stable. She is fair and good at her job. She can be a bit weak sometimes with others but overall she is a good manager and lets me get on with things and trusts me.

Meadowfinch · 17/04/2025 16:06

Yes, I do.

She has a life limiting illness but doesn't let that stop her. She is calm, supportive, knowledgeable, intelligent and pragmatic. She doesn't micromanage, has a pretty good idea of what goes on behind her back and holds the team together.

She's one of the better managers I've worked for.

roundaboutthehillsareshining · 17/04/2025 16:08

Yes, but we have complementary strengths, skills and knowledge so we work together more collegiately than hierarchically. I usually forget she's my manager until I'm getting my annual leave signed off.....

Pickledpoppetpickle · 17/04/2025 16:11

Current manager is fab. Couldn’t fault her.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/04/2025 16:27

You’re not being unreasonable, there are good and bad managers. In decades of work I’ve liked most of mine, and didn’t respect one direct manager. Probably more negative about some higher up. But DH has had a more chequered experience.

IsawwhatIsaw · 17/04/2025 16:38

Yes, she’s hard working, helpful and fair.
My previous manager in NHS was shocking, couldn’t cope and literally shouted and ranted at staff . Retired on lovely pension though….

MurdoMunro · 17/04/2025 16:40

My line manager, yes, he’s top notch. He’s got the technical expertise and the soft people skills, a rare beast. His manager tho, the Director, utter cock and the exact opposite in both regards.

Grumplechops · 17/04/2025 16:40

My manager is useless. Nice enough bloke but is pretty limited in his abilities - not strategic, not a good manager, doesn’t grasp things quickly or at all, as slopey shouldered as it gets, is constantly massively busy (apparently), is dangerous as he doesn’t know that he doesn’t know stuff. Depressing.

OneQuirkyPanda · 17/04/2025 16:43

No, she’s lazy, incompetent and lies all the time, does little to no actual work either.

GreenYodaFace · 17/04/2025 16:44

Yes she's supportive and laid back but avoidant so many crap workers don't get told they're crap.

butterflycr · 17/04/2025 16:45

I both like and respect my current manager - but she's the first one I ever have in 20 years of working - and it's not unanimous in my team - some people don't like her as much.

It's not necessarily always the manager's fault if they aren't liked. Sometimes personalities just clash, some people just don't like being managed, etc.

Sometimes of course it is just a bad manager! But having been on both sides of this equation and know others who also are, management is no walk in the park, and you can never please everyone.

Youremylobster86 · 17/04/2025 16:45

I've had a different manager for the last 14 months and I finally can say that I LOVE my job. I've been in the company for 11 years with some awful line managers, but my current one is trusting, approachable and let's me get on with it. 100% respect for him.