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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Flying business class

179 replies

Harrypitty · 17/04/2025 12:19

My girlfriend of 12 months wants us to fly to Australia to see her family. She has a little boy and has a reasonable income.

I but am lucky to be able to afford to fly business class. It’s a long way and I’m getting old and grumpy and don’t want to sit for 30 hours in a cramped seat.

Thing is economy seats cost around £1400 business is around £5000.

She’s happy to pay her way down the back but can’t stretch to a business class fare, especially for two.

I really afford to pay £15000 for all three of us and but now feel bad that I can’t really sit up front with them down the back.

Should me and my bad back suck it up and travel down the back or AIBU to sit up front while they are down the back?

OP posts:
Acc0untant · 17/04/2025 12:22

I can't articulate succinctly enough to explain my thoughts on this, but if you sat in business class while they're in economy my opinion is it would make you a bit of a dick.

What's the long term plan? You guys live happily ever after but still can't afford business class for the three of you so any long haul flights you'll be separated?

Rollofrockandsand · 17/04/2025 12:27

Could you all go premium? It\s a happy medium. I agree though, I’m beyond the point where I will fly economy long haul and I certainly wouldn’t do it to Australia, I would rather stay at home

Watermill · 17/04/2025 12:28

I would protect my health as a priority.

gamerchick · 17/04/2025 12:29

Can you not compromise and go first class?

Or you come out a day later or something.

The loved up her might not mind. The 10 years down the road her might when an argument crops up.

1AnotherOne · 17/04/2025 12:30

premium? Or upgrade at airport (providing they have space) is often much cheaper. Or could you stretch for all 3 of you to do business on one leg only?

princesspadam · 17/04/2025 12:32

If my partner sat in business whilst I was in economy it would be the end of the relationship

1AnotherOne · 17/04/2025 12:32

gamerchick · 17/04/2025 12:29

Can you not compromise and go first class?

Or you come out a day later or something.

The loved up her might not mind. The 10 years down the road her might when an argument crops up.

First is more expensive than business

Overtheatlantic · 17/04/2025 12:34

If I could afford it and the intention was to have a long term relationship I would offer to pay for half of them sitting in business class.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 17/04/2025 12:34

How about all going premium economy?

mousehole · 17/04/2025 12:35

This reply has been withdrawn

withdrawn at poster's request

brombatz · 17/04/2025 12:36

Seen this on a flight to Oz, men buggered off leaving the women to wrangle the kids. I felt really sorry for those ladies.

Premium plus as a compromise?

OhWhistle · 17/04/2025 12:37

How bad is your back? Is it "I need to stretch and walk around during the flight and have a hot shower not long after arriving" or is it "I go into spasms and need heavy pain medication" or something in between? This makes a big difference (and invisible/chronic conditions often need more explaining).

GasPanic · 17/04/2025 12:38

If she has a reasonable income surely it's up to her to pay for herself and her child ?

She has the choice, she's just choosing not to.

vivainsomnia · 17/04/2025 12:44

Depends how bad your back is. If it's a medical condition you are treated for and she knows all about it, I think it's ok.

If it's just older age discomfort and you prefer the luxury of extra space, then no, it's not good.

What would you do if it gets serious and you start travelling together more often? You'll always travel separately?

telestrations · 17/04/2025 12:45

Is this a medical need? If so would premium or booking a seat in economy with extra leg room do

Then what does she think? Would she prefer you all to sit together and put up with you being old and grumpy on arrival or for you to pay and sit by yourself and be in better form instead.

It's ok to have and express needs and wants, it's not ok to not be able to discuss them either way

toomuchfaff · 17/04/2025 12:46

If you're looking at any situation as "i can" vs "we can" - long term there's no future.

If you were serious about this lady (and her child), then you'd be saying it's £15k for business class and £3.2k for economy - not "i can afford my ticket".

You're not looking at things with the "us" lens...

As for "should I book myself business class? hell no. The fact you're considering it tells me this isn't a serious relationship, I'd not even be contemplating leaving my husband in economy while I lounge in business.

FishPie2 · 17/04/2025 12:48

Gordon Ramsey and his wife always sat up the front whilst the kids were in economy - think when they were near teenagers. 😊

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/04/2025 12:48

I agree with @toomuchfaff . Start thinking of this as an “us” or acknowledge there’s no long term in this relationship and either end it or make sure your girlfriend is on board with the fact that there’s not a blended family future on the horizon

NeedSomeComfy · 17/04/2025 12:49

I would normally be in the 'don't be a dick' team, but I have surprised myself here by thinking you are not unreasonable.
The child is not your child. The family you are going to see are not your family. If I were her I would be touched that you were willing to spend £5000 to visit my family, and it certainly wouldn't be the end of the relationship if you couldn't add another £7000 on top of that for us all to fly business class.

FedupofArsenalgame · 17/04/2025 12:50

Try starting the flight in Europe rather than UK. Then get a cheap positioning flight there Amsterdam, or Rome are good possibilities. It's the only way I afford business class

Mrsttcno1 · 17/04/2025 12:52

I don’t understand all the YABU comments! 12 month relationship, not a shared child, a trip to see new partners family, go business class with no guilt!

HollaHolla · 17/04/2025 12:55

I have a terrible back, (like, 4 spinal surgeries bad), and even I wouldn't do that. No matter who I was travelling with.
I would, however, look at Premium Economy for us all.
I fly to Aus/NZ every year or so, and find Premium Economy fine. Avoid BA, though. They're terrible.

FullOfLemons · 17/04/2025 12:55

it is not uncommon, particularly when an employer is paying for flights.

You can argue that the extra space is wasted on the child and it can be unhelpful for a child to grow up flying business.

However I don’t think your GF will see it that way. If I was her I’d want us to be all together

PetronellaBridgerton · 17/04/2025 12:56

FedupofArsenalgame · 17/04/2025 12:50

Try starting the flight in Europe rather than UK. Then get a cheap positioning flight there Amsterdam, or Rome are good possibilities. It's the only way I afford business class

Sorry to sidetrack but please can you expand on this strategy? I’d love to know more 🤓

Penguinmouse · 17/04/2025 13:02

If you’re paying for your own ticket the it’s ultimately up to you but not travelling with your girlfriend and her son is kind of an arsehole move. It’s not like it’s a short haul flight. Those flights are long and it would be helpful for her to have someone with her for when she needs the loo. Plus the point is it’s meant to be a trip to meet her family, a shared travel experience. Rather than business for you and economy for her, can’t you look at something like Premium Economy for you all?