Flying business class

[Harrypitty]

My girlfriend of 12 months wants us to fly to Australia to see her family. She has a little boy and has a reasonable income.

I but am lucky to be able to afford to fly business class. It’s a long way and I’m getting old and grumpy and don’t want to sit for 30 hours in a cramped seat.

Thing is economy seats cost around £1400 business is around £5000.

She’s happy to pay her way down the back but can’t stretch to a business class fare, especially for two.

I really afford to pay £15000 for all three of us and but now feel bad that I can’t really sit up front with them down the back.

Should me and my bad back suck it up and travel down the back or AIBU to sit up front while they are down the back?

YANBU

If my partner had terrible back or joint issues then yes I would not begrudge them needing to be business class. Only if it is however out of necessity

It’s certainly too soon to be allocating him the role of daddy & holding him to step parent standards!

PE benefits are being reduced. It is no longer business-lite but premium-plus. As the airlines evolve, more, and more benefits are being stripped at PE-level. The recline seat may remain, but the food options will decrease. And I bet the luggage etc. will also reduce over time. Such a sad state of affairs.

If you see any long term future in this relationship then yes, divide the cost and fly together. It’s a dick move to leave her in economy. Especially if you’re being hosted by her family.

It may be against the official rules but people do it all the time. Only last year I woke up to find a bloke in the seat next to me, where his wife/partner had been during the first half of the flight.

Sharing the BC seat with someone in economy or economy plus or whatever it's called, either by swopping every few hours or just once, half way, is forbidden at most if not all airlines...

Edir to add: just seen the pp...you might get away with but certainly at many airlines cabin crew do watch out for it and will stop it. It's not a tactic you can rely on.

Business is also being stripped back @LondonPapa

for ours in the summer we have to pay to sit together which I think is shocking

If she pays equivalent to 2 economy fares, could you make up the difference so that they could be in business?

All three fly premium economy?

FWIW I fly to Australia very often from the UK and have arthritis in my spine and in my hips. I also have a bulging disc and bursitis. I fly economy. It's not fun by any stretch of the imagination. But it is doable if you walk around alot. And I assume you are taller than me (5 ft 1) and if you can stretch to business for yourself you might be able to pay for the extra legroom as well which would be very much worth it. (Mind you, they often will not see the extra legroom seats by the exits if travelling with a young child).

But premium economy a good shout - but check the seat dimensions if you can because the last time I flew with my family (as opposed to alone) we shelled out alot for Premium economy and it was on an older aircraft and made very little difference size wise.

Yeah, I can understand your position, however since it's her family your going to visit, they might find it a bit uncaring of you, and I personally wouldn't want them to think bad of me. I think unless you can find a cheaper way for you all to fly together in the good seats and if there is no medical reason, you should all slum it together in cattle class!

Fly economy with a decent airline (Singapore Airlines is my favourite) and your bad back will be okay. I grabbed a last-minute flight to NZ last year and found myself at the very back of the plane in a three seat row. Although the galley was behind us and there was some backwards and forwards because of that, I was also able to get up when they weren't serving meals etc and do some stretches in the kitchen. And no one in a seat behind thumping me in the back. Surprisingly comfortable and I'd pick that row again.

Due to work commitments we may be travelling separately as she has more time off

In that case surely the obvious answer is to engineer it so you do have to fly separately, and then the issue doesn't arise?

I've paid for business class just once, only to find that with another flight being cancelled they'd shoved people with little kids in the spare seats, so the (long) fflight was consumed with shrieking and wailing

Never again

Find a girlfriend who can afford to pay for her own business class tickets - problem solved.

Long term this might be an issue.

I think given the child is not your son it’s not your responsibility to pay for him. But given you are not visiting her family with him it sounds like a serious relationship.

Not all flights are 30 hours - some are 24 but if your back is that bad this may not help.

If this really is a medical condition - how does she feel about it ? Have you talked to her ?

I have been to Australia once I loved it BUT I swore I would never fly that long unless it was business class as economy for that long was horrendous.

Can you split the costs between the two of you 50/50 (I know this means you are paying for her child but given the stage of your relationship this may be how things will be if you wish to continue it.)

How is first class a compromise? Do you even know what that is? It’s a lot more expensive. Some people… omg.

Well I’ve been married a long time and have totally joint finances, but when we flew long haul last year, DH did suggest that I flew business and he would go in economy to save us money. I have a bad back, and it was a birthday trip for me. Our teenage dds also said they would fly economy with DH. In the end we splashed out and all flew business class. It isn’t unreasonable really if you need the legroom, but I didn’t want to be lying with my nice pillows in business while my family were squashed in economy, even though they actually didn’t mind at all.

Yeah this is my thinking. If it were his idea to go and they were going to visit his family or friends etc I’d expect him to ensure they all were in the same class. But if he’s not that fussed to be going either way and he’s only going to accompany her really I think it’s fair he pays business just for himself and she figures out what’s she going to do.

I have a bad back and it is a bit of a gamble if it is a bit stiff or prone to spasms and on heavy prescribed painkillers and muscle relaxants.

My husband would be fine for me to fly business and him economy as he knows the holidays would be ruined if I had an uncomfortable long haul flight and it made my back worse.

I think she’s just mixed up and meant premium.

I’ve flown to Indonesia in economy with Emirates (I suffer with my back too), just a few hours short of Aus and I was OK. It wasn’t bad or cramped at all.

I think you’d be unreasonable to be in business alone if your partner couldn’t afford it. But if you do decide to sit with them in economy/ try to walk up and down the aisle regularly, do stretches, ask for extra pillows, take any medication or pain aids you normally have.

Ask her the exact same question.

You appear to be at very different stages of life and this really is just a symptom of that . You are in a relationship with a single mother of a young child. If she wasn't a single mother, would you be having this same thought process for just the two of you? Or would you just pay the extra for her to join you in business class?

If you're serious enough to be ok with travelling to the other side of the world to meet her parents, then surely you are serious about her and her son? You're in a relationship with two people,not just one. You can't be in a serious relationship with the mother but not the son, you have to accept them both and treat them fairly. This won't be the only time important considerations have to be made, if you're expecting more for yourself than you want for them , you really have to reconsider being with a single mother. Or at least be straightforward enough to discuss what both adults expectations and limits are in general, because both adults have to consider this child too. The mum might be happier going with just her son and not the "grumpy ,old" selfish new boyfriend.

I say this as a "grumpy,old" woman with severe pain, who has never dated a parent as I am also selfish and don't want to inflict myself on an innocent young child. Or take away the parents ' attention from the child.

Maybe you should just wave them off at the airport and let them enjoy their trip to visit their family, with the child having all his mother's attention, as you don't sound like you are ready to play happy families just yet, or maybe ever, which is fine...just please don't pretend you are, for the innocent child's sake.

DH and I fly in different classes all the time. I don't like business class because I find the seats claustrophobic and the food is still always a bit crap so I just think it's wasted on me. He does. I sit in Premium Plus. He sits in Business. We are both happy.

To the point, I've lost count of the amount of times I've been offered the upgrade and I'm like, "NO!!" The airline people probably think I'm so weird 😂