Flying business class

[Harrypitty]

My girlfriend of 12 months wants us to fly to Australia to see her family. She has a little boy and has a reasonable income.

I but am lucky to be able to afford to fly business class. It’s a long way and I’m getting old and grumpy and don’t want to sit for 30 hours in a cramped seat.

Thing is economy seats cost around £1400 business is around £5000.

She’s happy to pay her way down the back but can’t stretch to a business class fare, especially for two.

I really afford to pay £15000 for all three of us and but now feel bad that I can’t really sit up front with them down the back.

Should me and my bad back suck it up and travel down the back or AIBU to sit up front while they are down the back?

This is a REAL toughie.

Personally I've put off going back to visit Australia (and I have people I'd like to see there) for the last twenty years because the thought of the flight puts me off. It's so long and horrible. My DC are mad to go and I've explained I've got a savings account set up so we can all fly business; planning 2029!

The problem with this is that you WILL look like a bit of a dick for 'leaving them at the back' but the price of not looking like a dick is soooo high.

And... It's not your kid, you're not married, it's not your family that you're visiting. So really why should you be a whopping 15k out of pocket? It's far too early days in the relationship for that sort of financial outlay.

I am concerned that you said she won't be happy if you sit up the front without her. Doesn't she think that you agreeing to a 30 hour flight is a commitment in itself? I would! Is she assuming you're paying for their standard flights? If so, why???

I think how you approach this is crucial. A scheduled talk "there's something we need to discuss, can we meet later?" so it's clear this isn't a flippant decision, then

Listen I'm really worried about the flight. It's going to hurt my back and I will be in pain for the whole holiday. I've priced business seats but the difference is X for just one, I can't justify it for three of us. I keep thinking it through and know I'll feel like a dick leaving you guys at the back but I really don't think I'll manage it otherwise. What do you think? Alternatively I could gift you the price of your regular seats if you wanted to purchase business for you two? Or do you have any other suggestions?"

Or... Make an excuse and fly on a different day.

Try and engineer it so you HAVE to travel separately and join her there. Then, you can fly however you like, at least on the way down.
I think 12 months is not long in the relationship to be paying everything for her. And if you pay for this, you will be setting a bit of a precedent (you will always have to pay business for them both...)

Someone might be about to afford one flight at £5k but not 3. If someone has a bad back or is a 6’7” rugby player or morbidly obese then it’s unreasonable to expect them to sit in an economy seat if they can afford to pay for their business class seat surely.

This is a zombie thread but I remember it well I’m sure Op has been and gone on the trip now lol

FWIW I do agree with your stance @blueleavesgreensky