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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you judge someone for choosing to have a c section?

549 replies

ProudOtter · 16/04/2025 15:09

I’m just curious as to why you would judge someone for choosing to have an elective c section?

For background I’ve decided I’d like to ask for a c section for baby number 2. Some people have made comments about me being insane, or that I’m missing out of giving birth “properly”

I am curious as to why some people have this view.

My first born was semi elective c section, was rushed into an induction due to minor fetal distress and escalated a bit so had to choice to attempt vaginal birth or go for a C-section and I chose the c section. Positive experience and no regrets.

OP posts:
MeAndMyCatCharlotte · 16/04/2025 17:12

No. I would (and have) judge someone who judged someone else for this, though.

YourIcyGoldOrca · 16/04/2025 17:12

Your body your choice. I had 3 vaginal births with no issues so that would be my choice if i had another. No judgement here it's entirely up to you

KhakiAnt · 16/04/2025 17:12

No, who cares? Surely they don’t believe you get a medal at the end 😂

SharpLily · 16/04/2025 17:13

My eldest is 10 now. I'm a geek and also had some issues during pregnancy that meant I spent A LOT of time doing research prior to birth. I discovered that the European country with the highest number of CSs, percentage wise, also had the best results in terms of birth mortality, for both mother and child. More CSs equalled more live babies and mothers. No information about why. The information strictly related to life and death, not to any injuries or incidents or any of the reasons why CS might have been chosen. The same country had the highest number of interventions overall, not just CSs but also forceps, ventouse etc.

Make of that what you will and of course those results may have altered over time, but it was the case then.

Original poster
ProudOtter · 16/04/2025 17:13

Whippetlovely · 16/04/2025 17:11

I wouldn't choose to have a c section as the recovery time is longer. My friend had one and her scar got infected. I'm sure that's not that common but I wasn't envious of her and no I didn't think she was a wimp. No ones business as long as the mum has informed choice.

The recovery time can be longer, I’m sure it is statistically longer.

For me I found I healed quicker after my c section than my 2 friends who were cut during their vaginal births, one had a bad infection and couldn’t sit properly for about 6 weeks. I was recovered and driving by week 3

OP posts:
urghhh47 · 16/04/2025 17:15

The only thing I judge is someone over justifying their choice. That annoys me. I chose a c section. Great! I chose a vaginal birth. Great! I personally have had 9 births. 1st was an emcs, 2 through 8 were vaginal deliveries and 9th as an "emergency" c section that I'd asked for in the first place but been "encouraged" to have induction instead. I failed to progress and refused augmentation with the drip so had to have a c section. I don't need anyone else to justify why they chose or didn't choose a vaginal delivery or c section. Your body, your baby, your choice!

Waterlilysunset · 16/04/2025 17:15

SouthLondonMum22 · 16/04/2025 17:09

Emergency c-sections are not the same as elective ones.

Show quote history

No shit.

Iheartmysmart · 16/04/2025 17:16

Be interesting to know how many of the mythical gynae patients being bumped for elective sections are there to have damage repaired due to vaginal births. Not even sure if they’d use the same theatres - surely the ones for sections are in the delivery suite.

I’d imagine that if all the women who were damaged during their deliveries actually had the treatment they needed afterwards rather than being fobbed off with pain and incontinence being ‘normal’ then there wouldn’t be much in it cost wise.

SouthLondonMum22 · 16/04/2025 17:18

Waterlilysunset · 16/04/2025 17:15

No shit.

Show quote history

Why would anyone choose this sounded like you didn't know how different elective sections can be to emergency ones.

Pickingmyselfup · 16/04/2025 17:19

Not at all. I would suggest a vaginal birth for a baby if there were no foreseen problems and there was no previous trauma only because if it all goes well then recovery is much better and I think it's better for the baby.

I had to have an emergency c section with child #1, I had go through an awful painful labour and then still get cut open after it!

With #2 I was offered a choice and for me it was a no brainer because I knew I couldn't mentally go through labour wondering if it would all go wrong again and would they get him out in time.

The recovery the second time round was a lot worse though and that's partly why I would say don't do it but I have nothing else to compare it to. I was really surprised at how much pain I was in compared to the first time round which obviously was painful but the second brought me to tears.

SkibidiSigma · 16/04/2025 17:20

lnks · 16/04/2025 17:10

I would argue that being forced to give birth in a way that goes against your wishes causes significant stress and anxiety, which can negatively impact both the mother and the baby. That makes it not just a mental health concern, but a legitimate medical issue.

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I don't disagree with that in many cases, but there are regular threads on here from women who are 50/50 between vaginal and lscs and often I watch then literally get talked in to going for a section when they may have been just as happy to try vaginal had it not been for other people's input. I never comment as I don't think it would be appropriate - I've had 3 vaginal births myself, although the first one was long, difficult and had lots of intervention the 2 after were fine and I've never had a section.

I do try not to judge, but I've seen things from the other side and despite the awareness of the lack of NHS resources in other areas it seems people forget this when they are encouraging women to have sections. Also let's not forget vaginal birth generally has easier recovery and definitely has benefits for the baby.

It's all a balancing act.

Iloveshoes123 · 16/04/2025 17:23

ProudOtter · 16/04/2025 17:08

Just want to put this out there that I thank everyone for their comments, especially those who have been honest about why you judge woman and why you wouldn’t ask for a c section.

It seems like most people who judge are those who have never had a c section, and all the comments I’ve been given from judgemental people also have never had a c section - which makes me think, maybe people do just see this as the easy route? Until they have one

I've never had a c-section but I'm not an asshole so I wouldn't comment/judge you on your personal choice and frankly why would I (or anyone else) care. Unless you are specifically asking people their opinion I'm not sure why anyone would tell you that you are insane etc. they can't be very nice friends (to say the least).

Napface · 16/04/2025 17:24

I've had both a vaginal birth and a c section, you really aren't missing out on anything. Neither option is exactly fun and I much much preferred my c section. I'm surprised anyone had the cheek to mention it to you to be honest, they should really mind their own business. Just plain rude of them really.

heroinechic · 16/04/2025 17:25

ProudOtter · 16/04/2025 17:08

Just want to put this out there that I thank everyone for their comments, especially those who have been honest about why you judge woman and why you wouldn’t ask for a c section.

It seems like most people who judge are those who have never had a c section, and all the comments I’ve been given from judgemental people also have never had a c section - which makes me think, maybe people do just see this as the easy route? Until they have one

I think most people view their own birth choice as the “easy option”. You wouldn’t choose a c section if you didn’t think it was easier for you on the whole. I chose a vaginal birth because it’s the easier option for me on the whole.

A particular PP referred to anyone choosing a section as a “wuss” but the reality is I don’t choose to have sections because I’m a wuss. I’d rather the pain of vaginal labour/birth than have surgery because I don’t fear pain, but I do fear surgery. Not that I think there are any “easy” options when it comes to giving birth.

AnticleaAndLaertes · 16/04/2025 17:25

BatchCookBabe · 16/04/2025 16:31

Yep. Jealous. 😆 And bitter and angry that other women have the audacity to not go for a vaginal birth. Salty that you never had a c-section are ya? Wink

Also - you are spouting a HUGE amount of nonsense 'love!' I was driving at 2 weeks (and some other posters on here were too.)

Check your facts before posting in future, because you're embarrassing yourself!

Edited
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Im not jealous, I had 2 vaginal births. I was lucky enough to get my 2 dc out without issues. Maybe my information is a bit out of date. But not having one, I never needed to look into it.

It is generally recommended to wait at least 2 weeks after a C-section before driving, but some may need to wait up to 6 weeks depending on their recovery.

I could have had a c section if I wanted it, I didn't want one.

Why the fuck would I be salty? Seriously? Why would I want a major surgery?

You're the reason women are called unhinged.

HTH

SkibidiSigma · 16/04/2025 17:25

Iheartmysmart · 16/04/2025 17:16

Be interesting to know how many of the mythical gynae patients being bumped for elective sections are there to have damage repaired due to vaginal births. Not even sure if they’d use the same theatres - surely the ones for sections are in the delivery suite.

I’d imagine that if all the women who were damaged during their deliveries actually had the treatment they needed afterwards rather than being fobbed off with pain and incontinence being ‘normal’ then there wouldn’t be much in it cost wise.

Not many - pelvic pain and heavy bleeding are far more common, and with the ladies have pelvic floor repairs/ bladder surgery the majority are age related rather than birth injuries. And yes some hospitals have separate theatres for sections but many don't, including the one I work in.

Trust me there is nothing 'mythical' about the cancelled patients 🙄

AnticleaAndLaertes · 16/04/2025 17:27

urghhh47 · 16/04/2025 17:15

The only thing I judge is someone over justifying their choice. That annoys me. I chose a c section. Great! I chose a vaginal birth. Great! I personally have had 9 births. 1st was an emcs, 2 through 8 were vaginal deliveries and 9th as an "emergency" c section that I'd asked for in the first place but been "encouraged" to have induction instead. I failed to progress and refused augmentation with the drip so had to have a c section. I don't need anyone else to justify why they chose or didn't choose a vaginal delivery or c section. Your body, your baby, your choice!

Nine??

Wow! Super woman!

AlisounOfBath · 16/04/2025 17:27

SkibidiSigma · 16/04/2025 17:20

I don't disagree with that in many cases, but there are regular threads on here from women who are 50/50 between vaginal and lscs and often I watch then literally get talked in to going for a section when they may have been just as happy to try vaginal had it not been for other people's input. I never comment as I don't think it would be appropriate - I've had 3 vaginal births myself, although the first one was long, difficult and had lots of intervention the 2 after were fine and I've never had a section.

I do try not to judge, but I've seen things from the other side and despite the awareness of the lack of NHS resources in other areas it seems people forget this when they are encouraging women to have sections. Also let's not forget vaginal birth generally has easier recovery and definitely has benefits for the baby.

It's all a balancing act.

Show quote history

Actually, as a PP has amply shown with relevant citations, a planned c-section has the safest outcome for women and babies. The data on subsequent allergies, breast feeding etc is extremely shaky, quite simply because it would be impossibly unethical to conduct a rigorous study on this. All the data ever shows is correlation. C-sections are expensive, yes - but surely better than shelling out for compensation and repairs after appalling deliveries?

SouthLondonMum22 · 16/04/2025 17:27

SkibidiSigma · 16/04/2025 17:20

I don't disagree with that in many cases, but there are regular threads on here from women who are 50/50 between vaginal and lscs and often I watch then literally get talked in to going for a section when they may have been just as happy to try vaginal had it not been for other people's input. I never comment as I don't think it would be appropriate - I've had 3 vaginal births myself, although the first one was long, difficult and had lots of intervention the 2 after were fine and I've never had a section.

I do try not to judge, but I've seen things from the other side and despite the awareness of the lack of NHS resources in other areas it seems people forget this when they are encouraging women to have sections. Also let's not forget vaginal birth generally has easier recovery and definitely has benefits for the baby.

It's all a balancing act.

Show quote history

If someone really wanted a vaginal birth, they wouldn't be talked into a c-section so easily. Especially by strangers on the internet.

They are also very silly if they are only listening to strangers on the internet and not medical professionals who also provide plenty of information to be sure that women are informed of their decisions.

JohnTheRevelator · 16/04/2025 17:28

Not at all. Why would I?

AnticleaAndLaertes · 16/04/2025 17:28

KhakiAnt · 16/04/2025 17:12

No, who cares? Surely they don’t believe you get a medal at the end 😂

Agree - the aim is a healthy baby and mother

blueshoes · 16/04/2025 17:28

OP, your choice (emphasis being on 'choice') is the right choice for you. End of.

FWIW I made the same choice as you in similar circumstances and am so grateful I had the uneventful birth I wanted.

netflixskivving · 16/04/2025 17:29

It's quite normal to have another after the 1st. Only judge people who think it's the low pain option or that it will protect their vag, pregnancy alone fucks plenty of things up!

netflixskivving · 16/04/2025 17:31

I've had both a vaginal birth and a c section, you really aren't missing out on anything. Neither option is exactly fun and I much much preferred my c section.

It's so individual as I preferred my VB overall but can't say I loved either 😆

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