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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you judge someone for choosing to have a c section?

549 replies

ProudOtter · 16/04/2025 15:09

I’m just curious as to why you would judge someone for choosing to have an elective c section?

For background I’ve decided I’d like to ask for a c section for baby number 2. Some people have made comments about me being insane, or that I’m missing out of giving birth “properly”

I am curious as to why some people have this view.

My first born was semi elective c section, was rushed into an induction due to minor fetal distress and escalated a bit so had to choice to attempt vaginal birth or go for a C-section and I chose the c section. Positive experience and no regrets.

OP posts:
Daisypod · 16/04/2025 16:01

I’ve had 5 ‘natural births’ wouldn’t judge you in the slightest. I’ve always been very against having one for ME because surgery terrifies me (although if there had been a medical need of course I would have) but that’s me and everyone should be free to make their own decision.

WhySoManySocks · 16/04/2025 16:01

Yes, I would. Not out loud, in real life, but in my head.

There are huge advantages for babies to pass through the vaginal canal. A C-section is a major surgery with risks. I would judge the same as I judge feeding a baby formula or a toddler McDonalds.

Having said that, I have been reading about VBAC and I would, in your place, have an elective C section for the second baby as well.

IsleofDen · 16/04/2025 16:01

I was judged very strongly by drs for refusing an elective c-section for my first (twin) birth, but I had many reasons for that and I would assume that if you are choosing to have one, there is a reason for it.

Apparently none of my reasons were “good enough” in their opinion so I sympathise with feeling judged. Do what is best for you (and the baby) and screw everyone else, they can have a say over their own births!

Minieggmug · 16/04/2025 16:02

I asked for a csection after being induced, I was in for induction for a small baby. After an internal exam at the start of the process the midwife accidentally broke my waters and I didn’t want to go on the oxytocin drip as by that point I was sleep deprived from being in hospital and starving as I missed about 3 meals due to being monitored (you can’t eat on the hormone drip).

The consultants in hospital were very judgy as was my DH. They made a huge fuss of it being recorded as ‘maternal request’. The midwives were the only staff not judging me and said to me after my DS was born weighing only 5lbs at 40 weeks that it was the best decision.

I don’t regret asking for the csection in these specific circumstances but I do wish I hadn’t had to be induced as I’m sad I’ll probably not experience a ‘natural’ birth now.

Not much point to this post other than to say that all sorts of people will judge you for decisions you make. If you’re comfortable with the decision then go for it.

Imsodepressediactlikeitsmybirthday · 16/04/2025 16:02

No, why on earth would I judge?
I’m all for women choosing all the c sections and epidurals and whatever else’s in the world, if it gives them a better experience. The absolute magnificent weirdos who fetishise female suffering are more than welcome to fuck off.

QueefQueen80s · 16/04/2025 16:03

I can’t believe people still judge for this.. I chose mine 13 years ago and no-one said anything

GeorgianaM · 16/04/2025 16:03

I would if it was just for doing so and not out of any medical need.

QueefQueen80s · 16/04/2025 16:04

TotallyAddictedToCoffee · 16/04/2025 15:17

Only if it's because they're "afraid" of the pain of giving birth naturally and don't actually have a medical reason for a c-section

If it's medically indicated then fair enough

If it's because you're a wuss then yes, I will judge you

You are a shitty human being.

EnhancedVampireEyeballs · 16/04/2025 16:04

TotallyAddictedToCoffee · 16/04/2025 15:17

Only if it's because they're "afraid" of the pain of giving birth naturally and don't actually have a medical reason for a c-section

If it's medically indicated then fair enough

If it's because you're a wuss then yes, I will judge you

Well then you're an arsehole

SouthLondonMum22 · 16/04/2025 16:05

IsleofDen · 16/04/2025 16:01

I was judged very strongly by drs for refusing an elective c-section for my first (twin) birth, but I had many reasons for that and I would assume that if you are choosing to have one, there is a reason for it.

Apparently none of my reasons were “good enough” in their opinion so I sympathise with feeling judged. Do what is best for you (and the baby) and screw everyone else, they can have a say over their own births!

That's funny because they tried to push me to try for a vaginal birth with my twins. He kept on repeating ''but the first twin is in perfect position''.

LavenderBlue19 · 16/04/2025 16:07

Of course not - I had an elective c section myself, because I'm a wuss with PTSD and tokophobia, and I didn't fancy having a severe panic attack while in labour. I also have a gynae condition that might have got worse with trauma/a tear, but that wasn't the main driver in my decision.

Full agree that I was too scared to give birth naturally, that's exactly why I chose a c section 😂I firmly believe I made the right choice and am very grateful I didn't have to labour naturally. I'm not sure I would even have conceived if I hadn't known I would be able to choose a c section.

ETA - I fed my baby formula as well. The horror, poison! I did try to breastfeed but unfortunately nature had other ideas.

CeeJay81 · 16/04/2025 16:08

Nope. My first birth ended up being an emergency c section. Went through a long labour and hours of pushing with no progress. 2nd I decide on an elective, as wasn't going through that again. So nope, no judgement here.

MrsApplepants · 16/04/2025 16:08

TotallyAddictedToCoffee · 16/04/2025 15:17

Only if it's because they're "afraid" of the pain of giving birth naturally and don't actually have a medical reason for a c-section

If it's medically indicated then fair enough

If it's because you're a wuss then yes, I will judge you

FFS This attitude is disgusting. No one has the right to judge anyone for doing what they think is best their own body. And there are no medals for painful births either.

Iamwearingmyglasses · 16/04/2025 16:08

Nope. My first was planned; they advised it since baby was tiny and they didn’t think she’d cope with being born nationally as gravity wouldn’t help her ect and would likely lead to complications.

second one was classed as an emergency since my waters broke but I didn’t progress; I opted not to be induced and have a c section instead. I think I was grateful in the end as I did have that longing to try a vaginal borth after not even being able to experience contractions with my first baby.. but honestly the unknown of vaginal deliveries really scares me.

TeenLifeMum · 16/04/2025 16:08

When on a tour of the maternity unit we seemed to join a tribe of hippy mums all talking about hypno birthing. The midwife said “now you’re having an elective C-section (pointing to me), is there anyone else?” There was an audible gasp and stares. Midwife then said “well there’s a high chance there will be other C-sections in the group so I’ll show you theatre”… dh was so shocked (I wasn’t surprised at all). We got to theatre and I as at the back as judgy mums had all scuttled in front. Mw called out “now, where’s my twin mum gone?” (I’m sure she was making a point to shut everyone up and I loved her for it). Suddenly everyone was like “ooooh that’s why”. I didn’t add that actually I had such shit care in the unit the first time I was traumatised for life and nearly didn’t have any more dc.

Other mums will judge everything you do from now on. Have fun and hopefully you’ll reach the point of using it to find actual friends quickly.

BatchCookBabe · 16/04/2025 16:08

As a pp said, I can't even see my c-secion scar now, but for the first 7-10 years after having my DC (had them close together,) it looked like this...

Hip to hip indeed! 😂

Like I said, the judgy feckers are just jealous IMO. 😎

Would you judge someone for choosing to have a c section?
linelgreen · 16/04/2025 16:08

I had all 3 of mine by elective c-sections for multiple reasons. Firstly the pain factor I knew there was no way I could go though natural delivery after speaking to many friends who had and secondly it was important to be able to have a definite date for the birth to work around DH work commitments so that he could plan his leave dates. Then with my second and third births the definite dates enabled me to arrange for our parents to book time off work to look after the children. I have no regrets about insisting on c-sections and if its something you want you should go for it and not allow anyone to persuade you otherwise.

BernardButlersBra · 16/04/2025 16:09

@nodramaplz you were pregnant so l doubt your stomach is how it was before 🤣

pinkorchid1 · 16/04/2025 16:09

Absolutely would not judge. I had an emergency c-section with my first. And after hearing many scary birth stories from other mums, I chose an elective c-section for my second. No regrets!

BatchCookBabe · 16/04/2025 16:09

MrsApplepants · 16/04/2025 16:08

FFS This attitude is disgusting. No one has the right to judge anyone for doing what they think is best their own body. And there are no medals for painful births either.

Show quote history

THIS! ^ 👏

DonningMyHardHat · 16/04/2025 16:10

As a midwife and health visitor, I literally couldn’t give a fuck what other women decide to do with their bodies. And frankly, with the state of maternity services as they are I completely understand women choosing electives. That isn’t to say that the NHS is necessarily to blame here, but the global culture of medicalisation of birth in general which means that you are likely to be pushed into induction and end up with a cesarean anyway.

couchparsnip · 16/04/2025 16:11

Absolutely not. I had 2 c sections, the second one semi-elective.

Once you have a new baby - no one cares how it got here! Whatever makes you happy - do that!

steff13 · 16/04/2025 16:12

I do think it's an odd choice, given that a c-section is major abdominal surgery.

But I don't judge; it's not really my business. I'm sure the women choosing it have their reasons for doing so, which are also none of my business.

LionAndEmperor13 · 16/04/2025 16:13

WhySoManySocks · 16/04/2025 16:01

Yes, I would. Not out loud, in real life, but in my head.

There are huge advantages for babies to pass through the vaginal canal. A C-section is a major surgery with risks. I would judge the same as I judge feeding a baby formula or a toddler McDonalds.

Having said that, I have been reading about VBAC and I would, in your place, have an elective C section for the second baby as well.

You judge people for feeding their babies formula????
Maybe I should have let my son starve when he was unable to latch on?

heroinechic · 16/04/2025 16:13

I guess it just comes from the whole “too posh to push” thing. My mum is definitely judgemental of the frequency of sections these days and does a lot of eye rolling.

I wouldn’t judge anyone for their birth choice. I have a couple of friends who elected for a section because they had a lot of anxiety about a vaginal birth and preferred to know pretty much exactly when and how they would birth their child. They saw a section as the lesser of the evils. I never shared that anxiety and instead see a vaginal birth as the lesser of the evils. A section would give me much more anxiety! But that’s the beauty of choice. It’s subjective to each of us.